This is not my first rodeo. I know what goes on in this house in December. Everyone’s sending e-mails to everyone else, complete with links, telling “Santa” what they want for Christmas. Yesterday I overheard Beagle Man telling Greg he’d like a Muhammad Wilkerson jersey. How pathetic is that?! He couldn’t come up with a single Jets offensive player decent enough to ask for! Man, I’ll bet those #96 jerseys are just flyin’ off the shelves. I watched the Jets game yesterday and, quite honestly, it baffles me how B-Man can still root for that sorry bunch. And he calls me stubborn. Anyway . . . though I don’t recall anyone asking, here are a few things I’d like from Santa: A whole houseful of waste baskets, filled to the brim with
dirty, used tissues; an empty pizza carton, preferably with some burned crusts and some stuck-on cheese; lots and lots of fresh snow; and maybe a beautifully gift-wrapped french fry, like the one Matt gave me a few Christmases ago. Oh — and about B-Man’s question in his last post, asking why I “shakety-shake” my ears? How the hell should I know? I mean, why do I walk in circles before I lie down? Why do I fetch stuffed animals repeatedly, even though I have no use for them? Maybe, uh . . . because I’m a freakin’ dog?
The Roof Rack Report (#roofrackreport on Twitter, for those who follow me already on @BeagleManHank) will continue to appear on Mondays and will deal with travel, topical subjects, and whenever possible, food.