Just what the world needed: Beagle Man’s ratings of my walks. I mean, really! How many times have I heard him tell people, “It’s his half hour (nodding at me), so we go wherever he wants. If he wants to just stand and sniff, then we stand and sniff.” Really? This morning, he’s all, let’s go down to Soundview Drive! Yeah, B-Man, great idea! The beach. It’s not even 20 degrees. You want to know the walks I like? I like walking around our circle up in Vermont, where I can smell raccoons and deer and wolves and foxes and moose and even bear within a half mile of our house. When we’re
on our cross-country road trips, I like going behind our motel, staying nice and close to the dumpster. Ah, you can’t beat that aroma! And I like pit stops at Mickey D’s and BK, trolling the parking lots for wrappers, containers, and petrified french fries. Greenfield Hill Church? Southport Harbor? Aesthetics? Is he kidding? Has B-Man ever noticed my nose is glued to the ground — so do I really care what the place looks like? Now who are you going to listen to about our walks — him, or me? I mean, take a look at the hat the guy’s wearing. Know what I’m saying?
The Roof Rack Report (#roofrackreport on Twitter, for those who follow me already on @BeagleManHank) appears on Mondays, usually. It’s about politics, travel, food . . . important stuff like that.