Game Plans for Work & Life

Life Planning Specialist

Author Archive

Informational Interview

Monday, April 11, 2011 by:Joyce Cohen

Note from Joyce: A reader asked “How do you find out about a potential job environment when you don’t know anyone who works there?” That’s a time to tap your network, find someone who knows someone who does work there and go on an informational interview. Here are some tips to make that happen and what to do once you’ve made contact.

LEARN ABOUT AN ORGANIZATION THROUGH AN INFORMATIONAL INTERVIEW

When you identify an organization that sounds appealing, try a technique called the “informational interview.” It means literally…you interview to find out more about the opportunity and if it would be a good career fit or not. Find a person in an organization (dept.) where you’d like to work and ask specific questions about the work and employment there. One of the best ways to get an info interview is through third party referrals. Reach out to your network and see if someone knows a person who works at that organization or in that dept. and can arrange an info interview for you. This can also be done by researching recent articles written by someone in that org., or looking the company up online or in Moody’s or Vault.com or asking in various circles where you travel or through organizations where you belong. See if articles were posted by someone from that company on a local blog or online newspaper. Follow up with them via a reply email or call them. Due to time constraints, you may need to conduct the info interview on the phone or online if visiting the site isn’t feasible.
If you get to interview someone on site, check out the environment, type of person you meet in the lobby and elevators, level of friendliness, style of clothing people wear. This is a good way to informally learn about the culture, the actual job, and if it really may be a good career fit.

Use the dozen questions below as a guide for what to ask at an informational interview. Scan them and find several questions that feel right for you to launch the conversation.

Describe a typical day on the job.

Tell me the most important necessary skills in this department.

What traits, qualities and characteristics are most valued here? (EX: team player, tech savvy, independence, outgoing, creative, quick decision maker, etc.).

What do the most successful people here do consistently?

Describe methods employed to accomplish your work.

Are there particularly busy times of the day, week or year or is work steady throughout?

Describe the work ethic in this department?

Would you consider this department more laid back, intense or somewhere in between?

What are your regular challenges? Frustrations?

What reading, if any, is important to stay current in this line of work?

If you knew when you began what you know now, would you still work here? Why/why not?

If I have more questions, who else might I talk with who is knowledgeable like you? (great question because you get to expand your network at the same time).

Don’t overstay your welcome. Establish up front you’ll be there for 20 to 30 minutes max. When your time limit is approaching, wind down the visit and ask to stay in touch with the individual on line or by phone. Thank them; get his or her phone/email address. If it feels appropriate, send a follow up thank you note.

Making Time to Play

Monday, February 28, 2011 by:Joyce Cohen

Have you ever thought “I don’t have time to play?” “I want more free time, but…!” Think again. Dr. Christine Moll, leisure expert, shares facts that may wash those doubts away. “Play is as important to a person’s health as keeping cholesterol levels in check, flossing teeth, washing hands often daily and getting regular exercise.” Moll, professor of counseling and human services at Canisius College in Buffalo, NY, explains that leisure is like medicine. It rejuvenates the body, renews our spirit, airs out our brain and allows us to think more clearly.” Play is as important as other areas of life: physical, mental, spiritual, and cognitive, etc. From now on, Dr. Moll advises, “think about leisure as a necessity and certainly not a luxury.”

Leisure is anything that you truly enjoy doing regardless of what it is. One person’s bowling league might be another person’s board game or another’s time at the gym. It all qualifies. The important element is distraction from routine and results in feeling revived and your batteries recharged.

Most of us spend more time at work than we do with families, friends, eating or sleeping. Due to all the medical advances of past decades, health and medicine are vastly improved. But, as Dr. Moll says, “we’ll wipe ourselves out because of our workaholic patterns.”

The biggest abusers of “all work and no play” are baby boomers, those of us born between mid 1940’s and mid 1960’s. For many years this large population, all 76 million of us, has thought nothing of putting off vacations, taking work home to do at night and working even more on weekends. More than any other generational group, boomers pushed themselves in pursuit of the American Dream. It became a way of life and now it’s hard to change. More than ever before, it’s time to smell the roses!

What are your favorite things to do? Look at these categories and see what fun ideas come to mind. Select the top few and add them to your weekly schedule.

Animal and Pets____________________

Arts & Crafts_________________________________

Entertaining_______________________

Games of all kinds_____________________________

Books/Mags to read_________________

Home & Garden______________________________

Recreation________________________

Travel______________________________________

Around the house__________________

My special interests___________________________

Have you tried a new activity? How’s it going? Submit a post, we’ll collect ideas and send them back to you to expand your leisure reservoir.

Home Safety Check: Is Your Home Safe and Sound?

Monday, February 21, 2011 by:Joyce Cohen

With all the concern this winter about home safety, a reader asked a general question about what to look for regarding home safety. Rather than answering privately, here are some tips for all to consider. Take a quick tour of your home and see how you fare.

First consider the stats:
The National Safety Council reports that in homes across the U.S., a disabling injury occurs every five seconds, and a fatal injury every 19 minutes. The three leading causes: falls, poisonings, fires. Prevent the risk of falls, especially in homes where older people live. Fact: People 65 years and older account for 86% of fatalities from falls.
Write the phone number of the Poison Control Center and have it accessible. 1.800.222.1222, Poison Control nationwide. If you’re online, Google CT poison Control Center. You’ll automatically be referred to the phone number above. If it isn’t an emergency, you’ll see Lenny Lendahand’s Toolbox filled with valuable poison control information for Grades 1-3, Grades 4-6, Home, Teachers and babysitters. For educational materials related to poisoning, call 860.699.3531.

According to the U.S. Fire Administration, cooking is the chief cause of residential fires. Unattended cooking is the leading factor; grease also plays a significant role; and remember, a candle is an open flame that can easily ignite any nearby combustible substance. Smoke inhalation accounts for most deaths in home fires. Install smoke detectors, fire extinguishers and keep them operable. Check batteries regularly and develop a fire escape plan. Tip: a periodic “chirp” indicates a smoke detector is in need of a new battery. U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission states there are 40,000 residential fires annually in the U.S. They are caused by electrical wiring problems, accounting for thousands of injuries and deaths from electrical shock, burns and fortunes lost in personal property damage.

HOME SAFETY CHECKLIST:
Here’s a good first step in making your home safer. Perform safety checks regularly in these areas:

All areas of your Home:

__Electrical and telephone cords             __Secure runners and rugs, floor mats   __LandLine phones
__Smoke detectors;                                       __Alarms                                                             __Batteries
__Fire extinguishers on each floor          __Don’t overload electrical outlets         __Light bulbs
__Space Heaters                                              __Fireplaces; Wood burning stoves        __Frayed cords
__Keep open flames away from walls/curtains

Kitchen/Dining Room

__Range, electrical cords, lighting           __Safe storage for meds, cleaning supplies, other toxins
__Throw rugs and mats (non skid)           __Freezer (contents secure; nothing to fall out)
__Step stools                                                     __Turn ceiling fans off when getting on step stool, ladder

Living Room/Family Room/Den/Home Office
__Rugs and runners secured __Electrical, telephone cords hidden __Passageways free
__Fireplace and chimney screened __Passageways free of clutter/obstacles __Lighting accessible

Bathrooms
__Bathtubs accessible (cut tub or walk in shower/seat for elders)__Shower area safe; accessible
__Water temperatures regulated __Rugs/mats nonslip
__Lighting plentiful and in working order __ Electrical appliances work

Bedrooms
__Rugs and runners secured __Ample lighting __All electrical cords secured
__Areas around beds free of clutter and extra long bedspreads, coverlets, shoes, etc.

Basement, Garage, Workshop, Storage areas
__Lighting available and working __Fuse boxes, circuit breakers __appliances/tools (accessible)
__Frayed cords replaced __Flammable liquids removed __Free area to get around

Outdoor Areas
__Lighting __Condition of walkways __Handrails where needed
__Condition of steps __Condition of coverings __Hoses/tools properly stored

Note from Joyce: How’d you do? If you see areas that need attention, now’s a great time while you’re thinking about it. And, if you have tips to add, send a comment. We’ll print your reply to share with everyone.

How Do YOU Learn Best?

Wednesday, February 9, 2011 by:Joyce Cohen

Ever thought about your learning style? We all have unique ways to learn, yet rarely do we stop to consider the type of learner we are, how we best learn and how we might use that knowledge in the future. What’s your hunch about how you learn most easily? Some of us learn better from other people (people learner), some prefer to figure it out yourself (information learner), while still others like to experiment (action learner). Answer these questions to clarify your learning style. Its quick and you’ll know your preferred style in seconds.

You purchased new software for your computer. Now, figure out how to use it. Which do you prefer?

A. Read an instruction manual or tutorial

B. Ask an expert

C. Load it into your computer; experiment with it

If you chose:

A … you’re an information learner;

B … you’re a people learner;

C … you’re an action learner.

To clarify your thinking about your own learning style, “When you want to learn something, where do you go?” Check all that apply; corresponding learning styles are listed below.

___Books/library ___Teacher/Mentor

___Get an internship ___Observe

___Talk with Experts/Others ___Investigate/Question

___Discuss, brainstorm, interact ___Internet

___Interview people ___Get involved in a project

___Experiment by trial and error ___Read/Research topic by myself

Left column Right column

Information learner People learner

Action learner Information learner

People learner Action learner

People learner Information learner

People learner Action learner

Action learner Information learner

Which style did you select most often?

Did your choices reflect the type of learner you think you are. For example, a people learner will usually choose answers like Talk with Experts/Others; their comfort zone is relating to others. The Information learner tends to learn by thoughtful analysis; Read/ research the topic by myself could be their logical choice. Finally, the Action learner might select Experiment by trial and error from the selections above as this type of learner prefers immediate results, practical application where they learn by doing.

Once aware of your learning style, use it to quickly adapt to situations that don’t fit your preference. It’s called beefing up your shadow side. To practice people learning style, learn from experiences of others, inquire about lessons learned, discuss, brainstorm, collaborate and engage in conversation together. To practice information learning, remind yourself to analyze facts and situations, find themes and trends, and most importantly, observe more carefully. Finally, to spark your action learning, try new ways to do things, question, engage in trial and error, and make time to get involved. Like anything else, it takes awareness and then practice. Good luck and have fun.

Note from Joyce: If you have a specific story about how you’ve applied or compensated for learning style, we’d enjoy hearing from you. Send us a comment.

The Powerful Impact of Money Messages

Wednesday, February 2, 2011 by:Joyce Cohen

“In all realms of life, it takes courage to stretch your limits and fulfill your potential; it’s no different in the financial realm. In a buy-now consume-now culture like ours, it takes courage to make decisions today that may make us rich tomorrow. It takes courage to face up to facts of old age and mortality and to prepare for them. It also takes courage to live generously, regardless of your financial state of affairs. It takes courage to ask for what you want. And it takes courage to live honestly, wisely, true to yourself….and true to your desire for more.
-Suze Orman

Money messages we heard as kids influence the ways we regard finances in adulthood. If you remember negative thoughts you heard related to money, treat them as pointers to go the opposite way. If you use the mesages as sign posts, they don’t have to be obstacles, but rather steps to success. Here are some actual cases, along with possible alternatives:

DREAMS GONE AWRY

Leon, a shy boy, often heard his parents exclaim: “How many times have I told you I’m not made of money!” “Money doesn’t grow on trees!” “We have to cut back or we’ll end up in the poorhouse!” Leon grew up thinking that college was impossible, and chucked that dream, opting for jobs that didn’t require much education. He found himself unchallenged, unfulfilled, and repeating his parents’ poverty mentality. What Leon could have done instead: Determined to realize his dream of going to college, sought a scholarship, and pursued night classes while earning a degree.

HEAD IN THE SAND

For years, Jake heard comments like, “It’s not polite to talk about money” and “If you have to ask how much it costs, you can’t afford it.” As a result, Jake never took responsibility for learning about investments, setting up a budget, or maximizing his assets. Later, Jake struggled to keep up with cost of living and complained he lacked the judgment to save and invest. What Jake could have done: Taken a financial literacy course in adult ed. and overcome his parents’ superstitions. He could’ve started a nominal savings account and added to it regularly.

THE PRINCESS AND THE PEA

Paula grew up in an affluent home where she was taught to prepare for a life of leisure. She chose wealthy boyfriends and was not immune to such comments as “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend” and “There’s no such thing as too much money.” Paula married into the good life and was divorced within a few years. What Paula might have done: She could have avoided taking it for granted that she’d always be pampered and obtained a skill to ensure her independence no matter what her situation.

TYCOON TROUBLES

Ben and Bill’s executive dad constantly said things like “Money makes the world go round,” “Your real friend is your bank account,” and “Money is how to keep score in life.” The boys were groomed for powerful careers. However, their greed and arrogance led to their downfall: Ben cheated on taxes and Bill pilfered company funds. Both served prison terms. What those guys might have done: Used their prison terms to reflect on how they might make amends-change their character, make a positive difference in a cause that interested them or in the lives of others.

REFLECTION

What money messages, verbal and nonverbal, did you get when you were growing up?

How did they make you feel?

What impact did they have on you later?

Did you compensate for childhood messages of limitation in adulthood? How?

Note from Joyce: the topic of money messages is fascinating and most everyone can relate to the topic and the impact one of the messages had on your future. Post a comment or question about a money message that has impacted you positively or negatively.

Relationships…The Tie That Binds

Tuesday, January 18, 2011 by:Joyce Cohen

Note from Joyce: You’ve celebrated and renewed for 2011. Now it’s time to put your good intentions to action! Over the coming weeks, we’ll continue delving into many life dimensions with a new topic each week where you can consider the topic, answer questions pertinent to you and take appropriate action where feasible. Let’s launch by looking at RELATIONSHIPS.

RELATIONSHIP INSIGHTS: Whether you’re living as a single person, as a couple, with a Brady Bunch, or in a divided family situation, inevitably a discussion will rise related to parenting, possessions, Wills and important documents, end of life matters, or what happens when challenges hit: sickness, disability or death. These discussions often spark differences in opinion. What matters most is to have an honest conversation vs. exploding into a family argument. It’s important to discuss how you feel about particular situations and consult a mediator, eldercare lawyer or estate attorney, depending on your needs.

In addition, consider the changing nature of relationships between adult children, siblings, extended family members, challenges of long distance, how is care for elders divided among adult children, and ways to build intergenerational bonds among extended family.

We can’t forget the sandwich generation which sees many Boomers facing the challenge of caring for both adult children and aging parents. These Boomers may be single – living solo or with another person(s)-or have a teenager or an adult child at home. What are your considerations about having a family member move in with you? What preparations might need to be made before they arrive?

This is the tip of iceberg and as we chisel away, additional topics quickly surface: grandparents raising grandchildren, accommodating different generations under one roof, worries about aging parents, and coping with loss of loved ones.

If most of us want similar things which is to be valued, respected, welcomed and loved, how will you ensure that feeling with your friends and family?

QUESTIONS:
What issues, regarding relationships, must I think about before discussing with family or friends?
What conversations are important to have in the near future and with whom?
Do I anticipate difficulties having the above discussion and how can I better prepare myself?
What family stories, traditions and legacies do I want to pass on to future generations?
What have I learned about relationships that can guide me in the future?
How can I guide my children so I don’t lose my sense of “self?”

FOLLOW UP:

A few excellent sources for information include The Caregiver’s Survival Handbook: How To Care for your Aging Parents Without Losing Yourself by Alexis Abramson Perigee Books 2004; The Gifts of Caregiving by Connie Goldman Fairview Press 2002; Grandma’s Yellow Pie Plate www.yellowpieplate.umn.edu; Adult family conflict resolution www.elderdecisions.com

A Fresh Approach to New Year’s Resolutions

Tuesday, December 28, 2010 by:Joyce Cohen

People tend to make the same New Year’s Resolutions year and after. The top dozen in many polls include: Go back to school, Lose weight, Make a career move, Get a better job in my field, Get in shape, Make a difference, Take a vacation, Quit smoking, Reduce debt and Save more money, Get organized, Spend more time with family and friends, and Find a mate. Any of them sound familiar?

Ellen Goodman cautioned us to “Walk through the rooms of our lives on January 1^st but rather than looking for flaws, look for potential.“ Oscar Wilde once said “A New Year resolution goes in one year and out the other.” How true both statements are. Look at these stats. Less than half of the US population makes resolutions and most don’t keep them. Almost 1/4 of those who make declarations keep the promise for a week. Six months later less than 50% of that group are working on their goals and it dwindles to less than 5% who make changes that actually become reality.

Welcome to the week of “new beginnings.” It’s time to reflect on 2010 and ask yourself; Has it been a good year for you? What would you like to change or do differently during 2011? You might logically ask, “Given the stats mentioned above, why declare a new year resolution if over 95% of the people who make them, quit along the way?”

It’s important because almost everyone wants more meaning, purpose and control in their life. Once you set goals, you create direction and the new year is a terrific time to think about what you want in your life and begin to make it happen.

Consider, for a few seconds, why New Year’s resolutions fail? Usually it’s a great idea with only intention behind it and not a thought out PLAN. That’s where energy and smarts play a big role. Just like a good project plan, a resolution needs a start date, milestones along the way, declared results you will produce, support (like a personal board of directors, if needed) and an end date.

Don’t shy away from resolutions because they haven’t worked for you in the past. Instead, add a workable plan to your resolution and then, like glue on paper, stick to it with your goal front and center.

Send us a comment and share your New Year’s Resolution with your brief plan for how you’ll stay on track. Good luck and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

LEISURE and PLAY

Friday, November 26, 2010 by:Joyce Cohen

Note from Joyce: This week’s blog focuses on LEISURE and PLAY. Ask yourself essential questions related to the topic, scan valuable facts to know and try out the related activity. As always, if a question or concern is sparked for you, send us a comment and we’ll print your reply or send you a private message.

LEISURE and PLAY

We all remember the expression “All work and no play makes ‘Sally and Sammy’ DULL!” It’s as true today as ever. With added stress due to economic downturn, job instability, and heightened cost of most everything, the need for play is even more critical.

As weekends come and go, do you make time to play between Friday and Sunday evening along with everything else you’re doing? Sure, there are errands and chores to be done; however, there is discretionary time as well. Think about these questions related to you and leisure, fun and play.

QUESTIONS

1. In the last few years, what have I learned about myself related to fun, play, leisure and learning?

2. What’s an activity where I participated and I didn’t enjoy it?

3. During the last year, in what activity did I participate that I enjoyed the most?

4. How can I create more opportunities similar to #3 above?

5. Plan a solid week of play, leisure and fun activities. What’s on my list that I’ll do regularly?

6. What things do I enjoy for pure relaxation? (i.e. TV, listening to music, sharing time with friends on the phone or computer, taking naps, reading, shopping, daydreaming, etc.)?

7. In the future, I’d like to increase leisure activities such as __________________________________?

8. What type of travel do I prefer? How long do I like to go away for?

9. If I started a leisure folder, I’d include pictures of what and reminders to do which activities?

10. If I invited a few friends to explore a new area and then go out to dinner, who would I invite and where would we go?

FACTS & FOLLOW UP:

Did you ever think about what the word “LEISURE” means to you? Look at any dictionary and you’ll see diverse meanings such as “time free from work or duties,” “unhurried, unoccupied, activities done without haste.” Some of us grew up in homes where leisure wasn’t valued and we heard expressions like “idle hands are the devils workshop” or “if you don’t have something to do, I’ll give you something.” If you’re like me, you got busy very quickly or better yet, got lost…fast!

Leisure and play, for some, have been an integral part of their lives while others didn’t share that experience. If that puritanical work ethic still hovers in the background, ask yourself if you regularly do things now that you enjoy and make time for fun?

The closer we move to retirement, the more critical it is to have goals. Multiple studies have proven, such as one by Harvard University, that those who are more active and engaged with purposeful goals, outlive their workaholic peers. Those who didn’t have plans and worthy goals to look forward to declined more quickly.

Hints to plan for related to leisure: (1) accomplishments that you deem worthwhile, (2) making regular time for play and leisure, (3)staying committed to goals.

ACTIVITY: THE BALANCE WHEEL OF LEISURE

Draw a large circle; divide it into four equal quadrants. Label top left wedge PHYSICAL and the quadrant in the bottom right QUIET. Label the top right wedge SOLO and the bottom left wedge SOCIAL.

Fill in the four wedges with 3-5 activities you do that fits each description. (EX: PHYSICAL: jogging, sports, yard work, etc. QUIET: talking on the phone, Internet surfing, watching TV), etc.

When your quadrants are filled out, notice where most of your activities fall? Is there a balance between physical and quiet, solo and social? Ask yourself what these entries say about you and the quality of balance in your life related to leisure activity? Where do you need to focus your attention? Perhaps its time to take a break and enjoy a few leisure moments!

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