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I’m the kind of girl who rarely gets attached. I guess you could say I date like a man. If it works out, great. If not, next please.
I didn’t grow up with this mindset, though. I’ve been in committed relationships that have gone awry just like everyone else on the face of the planet. And after every single one that does I think to myself – have I put myself so far out there that there are pieces of me I can’t get back?
Talking to a close male friend of mine this past weekend who just endured a rough break up with a long-term girlfriend, I came to realize that women aren’t the only ones who put themselves out there and hope for the best. Men also give pieces of themselves to us that they risk losing too. I know this sounds so simplistic that it’s almost irrelevant, but at the same time, it’s refreshing to actually see it in play.
My friend explained his relationship detail for detail, in a way that only someone who had been really engaged and committed only to find out the other party wasn’t would. This was a side of him I had never seen. He’s usually the stereotypical male, showing just enough emotion to get by. But now, it was all out on the table for me to dissect. I couldn’t help but sit there, drinking my cosmo, and wonder if we were all the same. Male, female, straight or gay. Regardless of how we act towards our significant other, we’re offering them something that’s fragile. And when push comes to shove, some of us may just be better actors after the break up, better at keeping it together and/or keeping it off our minds all while picking up the pieces.
And how is this accomplished? By finding the ultimate rebound guy/girl? Immersing ourselves in work projects? Getting a gym membership we can barely afford? Moving to a country that takes a 26 hour plane ride to get to? Well, maybe. But let’s keep it local for now.
Every weekend, thousands of men and women in Connecticut go to bars, parties, restaurants and clubs. Some go for the jager bombs and a good time with friends while others are in search of something more. By more, I mean finding someone to have a good time with – not necessarily getting into a full-blown relationship with that has wedding bells around the corner. Just someone who we want to see again. Someone who gets us excited to be around and makes us want to open up a little. And maybe, just maybe, some of us are looking to get those pieces back of ourselves that we lost in the past through that new person. But, enough of this in-depth soul-searching.
Moving on.
After all of this sporadic hoopla, let me just give you an idea of what you can expect to see here. Throughout my adventures described in this blog, I intend to help you narrow down the places to search and weed out the places that aren‘t worth it in the Connecticut dating world. Oh, and I’ll let you experience my most awkward dating and relationship moments and horror stories from the present and the past in hopes that you don’t repeat my mistakes. Or, at the very least, you’ll get a good laugh from them.
And please, don’t be shy about leaving your experiences too. I can’t be the only out there who is socially awkward at times. If you don’t feel comfortable posting for the world to see, you can drop me an e-mail at datingdiva@email.com.
Until next time – DD

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