A few days ago, I had an interesting conversation with an old friend of mine from college. We were catching up via BlackBerry messenger and he was telling me of a situation he was dealing with on Facebook.com.
Apparently, the Facebook poke and chat features are potential catalysts for the end of romantic relationships. He said how he had three females who were in relationships, two of those relationships being marriage, constantly poking him and saying explicit things through the “pop-up” chat feature. This is where he turned things over to me and asked my opinion on it all.
I guess since my job is to give out dating and relationship advice, I should have had an answer other than “bahh…umm.” However, that was not the case.
All I could think of was, “Oh my gosh, if I had a hubs who was pulling that it’d be so over.”
And in that instant, I made a pact to get myself and my currently non-existent husband off of Facebook.com the day I get married. Or sooner. You can call it distrust, I just call it disaster prevention.
Before you think I am a Facebook hater, I want you to know that I understand and appreciate the positive things that the social-networking site can contribute to its users. It lends itself to re-connection with lost friends, the opportunity to meet new people that you will be attending college or work with and the ability to share great memories through pictures and videos.
Oh, and let’s not forget about the amazing ability it has to lure you into stalking even against your own will.
Another friend of mine in the graduate program I currently attend once told me that a Facebook “poke” could be the first step in a possible hook up. However, he stated later that it is all dependent on the time frame between the poke and the actual in-person meeting that determines the actual meaning. The sooner the poke to the meet-up, the more reasonable it is that it was considered a “let’s hook up and see where this goes” poke.
Really? All from one slick click of the mouse?
Listen, I know you are probably thinking that these women mentioned earlier are most likely not happy in their relationship, are looking for a way out or are just not top-quality people.
Agreed, agreed, agreed, my friend.
However, as someone very close to me said this morning when I broached the subject with him, “I really don’t see how Facebook could ever positively contribute to a relationship.”
Agreed, agreed, agreed.
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First of all, pokes are way too passive of a way to get someone’s attention. It takes the bare minimum amount of work for a guy or girl to demonstrate interest. Therefore, getting “poked” to me means the poker isn’t really that interested anyways.
Also, I agree that Facebook is not the place for improving a relationship. Pictures, comments, status, etc. is always able to be left up to interpretation, and often gets misinterpreted leaving someone confused, upset, or downright pissed.
Do I love Facebook? YES. Do I stalk people on a daily basis? Absolutely. Still, Facebook is not the place for starting, building, or ending a relationship.
Love the column DatingDiva
Guilty – I have told a friend that sending a poke on facebook is like initiating a hook up.
Guilty – My ex boyfriend who is in a relationship, pokes me all the time.
Agreed – Facebook is NO GOOD for relationships. Or any social networking site. In my last relationship, we got into serious fights about MySpace. Really? This is even sickening to admit lol! But keep preaching dating diva!
Consider e-harmony the new singles bar, facebook the new brothel perhaps ?