I’ll tell you something right now. No girl has a strict set of rules that she applies to every single man that she takes up for a date. We may have set behavior to preserve our image or our dignity, but other than that, the “rules” are out the window. No girl goes home and checks her time-line to see what and when things should happen.
We don’t all have a specific type in mind. Sometimes we date for wit, sense of humor, personality, or yes, even the occasional looks. But we switch up our taste just like we switch up our style. I would find it hard-pressed to find a woman who continuously dated the exact same kind of man. Well, hard-pressed to find her, but easy-street to tell her why things never worked out – it depends on how you look at it.
That being said, you’re different than our ex-boyfriend. I mean, clearly, that’s why you’re sitting across from me and he’s not. So, don’t ask us about him right away. We probably don’t want to talk about him, and it’s uncomfortable. Speaking of question-asking don’ts, don’t ask us about anything having to do with sex. It’s tacky, classless and really not needed on the first date. Regardless of how cool of a girl you think she is, she’s judging you by what you ask her, how you treat her and how comfortable she can be around you. Bringing up a risqué subject on the first one or two dates isn’t going to work in your favor, trust me.
Also, we don’t always want to go out for just drinks, dinner or a movie. Use your imagination. Take us somewhere we’ve never been or do something with us we’ve never done. Maybe take us hiking, or to a waterfall. Do something that’s memorable if you want to be memorable. I believe I can speak for all of us ladies when I say run-of-the-mill dates are quickly going out of style. So let’s make a conscious effort to switch it up, gentlemen.
Another myth I’ve heard from my guy friends is that if a guy gets the “cheek response” when he goes in to kiss a girl, she’s not interested. For clarification: the “cheek response” is if you go in for a kiss and the girl offers her cheek instead of her lips. If a girl gives you the cheek on the first night, it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s not interested. A lot of girls do this because kisses, to us, can be really intimate. So, don’t be shy to ask her on a second date after you got the cheek. At least this way you’ll know if you got the cheek for a bad reason if she says no.
Also, not every girl is dying to get into a relationship. Some girls like to have fun and date around. And by “date around,” I do not mean “sleep around.” Sometimes we like to go out with a guy, have him over for a movie or dinner or just go walking with him without any expectations. It doesn’t necessarily mean we’re seeing wedding bells, it just means we may be interested, but not really ready to take it to the next level. And that’s okay. Don’t rush it, or you’ll leave us feeling satisfied with the time that you and I have already spent together, and really not looking forward to the future time we could be spending with you.
And while we’re on the subject of relationships, no, there is not a set in stone rule as to how long a girl needs to get over her ex. While I don’t recommend trying to start seeing someone two days after she left her five year relationship, I also don’t recommend waiting it out a few months before you show interest. Be there for her, but state your intentions as well. The last thing we need is to have someone who we thought was just a friend and there for us all of a sudden saying that they were only doing this because they thought it would lead to romantic involvement. Nothing good will come of that.
Hopefully these information tid-bits may help. Follow me on Twitter to ask me questions directly or give me some ideas for posts you’d like to see!
dang, you heterosexuals are so complicated. lol.