I won’t lie to you. A (very) large contributing factor to me choosing a life in journalism was watching my first Superman movie. Here is Lois Lane, a successful female journalist eventually falling for Superman, by far the best super hero America, and I’d put money that even the world, has ever seen.
Writing has always been my passion. But when you top that off with the possibility to date a super hero? Hook, line and sinker – I was sold.
But the real-life newsroom is a much different place than in the movies. Someone I care about a lot told me recently, “That’s why they make movies – because that stuff could never happen in real life. This way, you can at least live it out for the two hours of the film.”
He was right.
Sometimes it’s hard to get everything you want, and even harder to be satisfied with what you have.
I’ve always been very independent. I have a few close friends that I rely on, but I’ve never been one to ask for much – instead I’m much more willing to give.
I have a great family and my own apartment, I’ve worked hard to earn a bachelor’s and master’s degree and am working towards a great career.
So, why do I feel like I’m missing something?
Many say that even the strongest woman sometimes feels the need to be rescued from her ordinary life. But my life is not an ordinary one. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s one of the least ordinary out there. Furthermore, I don’t believe that anyone needs to be rescued from their own life – it’s yours, ultimately you’re in control and can only save yourself.
I have a different take on this.
Woman are raised to believe that they need to nurture something. We’re given baby dolls as toys and taught how to feed them, change their diapers and fix their hair. Boys are given G.I. Joes and other action figures that they’re taught to fight and wage war with – not too much sensitivity there.
Then, when we get older, we replace dolls with boyfriends and care for them as best we can. We feel the need to make sure they’re comfortable, picking up after them, cooking for them and making sure they’re happy. I’m not saying that boyfriends don’t care for us, but our nurturing gene takes hold here – it’s almost primitive.
So, many of us fall for the wrong guys just to be able to have someone to take care of. I can hear some of my ultra-feminist friends scoffing at this post right now. But it’s true.
We try to fill that void with a person who we’re not sure will feel the same way towards us. But it’s always a chance we’re willing to take.
Back to Lois Lane and Superman. You thought I’d almost forgotten to tie this back in, right?
As most of us know, the relationship between Lois Lane and Superman was actually a love triangle between the two and Clark Kent. Clark, with no backbone, couldn’t quite win Lois over. But she fell hard for Superman, not because of his powers, but because of his attitude and confident personality. Despite all of their obstacles, he took care of her and he could make her feel like, just for a moment, she could let her guard down.
So, while it’s not the rescuing that woman are after, it may be the ability to let our guard down and just be ourselves around someone we want to care for. No games, no gimmicks. Just you and me.
But, the question now is: How long should a girl chase after her Superman knowing all the risks?
It was interesting reading how you were influenced in your career. The reality is that a woman like you is super woman in the eyes of a man. Its kind of mutual with the desire to take care of your lover. Woman want to nurture but also want to be taken care of. Each super hero such as spiderman, superman, batman etc. all seem to have these vulnerable woman they must protect. Myself i have always wanted to be that Superman for my woman and i believe a lot guys feel. So like you said i believe our influences as a child make us aspire a sertian relationship or connection that in conclusion needs the other person. Behind every man is a greater woman so if your a great woman like the dating diva naturally you want a SUPERMAN! If that makes any sense at all and sorry if the spelling is bad lol
I think it is simply- women are attracted to confidence. Clark doesn’t have it, Superman does. Why is confidence so important? It equals strength which is attractive in the primal way of mating. A female desires a strong male for healthy offspring. Period.
Sara – I don’t necessarily think that’s what shes talking about because she’s referencing Superman. In the comic – Superman keeps coming back when Lois least expects it, yet she always waits for his return. So, I don’t think she meant the actual chase that a lot of girls do today – yet instead – knowing that he’s interested and just waiting for him to come around while not giving in to others’ advances(i.e. Clark Kent)
The answer is never! Girl’s are not supposed to chase the guys at all! If a girl is chasing a guy and he is not responding, then he’s not interested in her – if he’s interested in her, she wouldn’t have to chase him at all. So by simply asking that question, you are already answering it for yourself. If you have to chase him, then he’s not the one – and he’s not your Superman. When girls chase, it often turns guys off or pushes them away. It’s exactly like you said – guys grow up playing with G.I. Joe’s and playing war. Just as girls are genetically pre-dispositioned to nurture, guys are natural pre-dispositioned to play the hero. Guys want the adventure of having to chase US. Without the chase, it’s just not as fun for them. A girl NOT chasing the guy gives off a higher sense of confidence and self – just like the confidence we are attracted to in Superman. If it were up to me, and you asked me how long to chase? I’d say you just answered the question. The answer is not at all.