Click. Click. Click.
Click. Click. Click.
The girl behind me at Starbucks is going crazy on her BlackBerry. And giggling every time a text message annoyingly rings in.
My obvious response? Sigh. She’s in l-u-s-t.
Thankfully, she’s with a friend who is quite inquisitive about this little situation we have on our hands so I’m about to get the full scoop. (And, fingers-crossed, material for another column. Score!)
Dating Diva’s Note: Despite what your mother has told you, eavesdropping on strangers in your same age-range is one of the most delightful things to do while waiting in the longest line of your life for your first caffeine fix of the day.
“He’s amazing. He’s an architect at…I forget the firm…but yeah. He is so cool and just bought his own four-bedroom house in West Hartford and has a great car and really likes that expensive sushi place that I like in Madison,” said BlackBerry Worshipper.
Her friend, who I’ve now dubbed Voice of Reason, then asked, “Awesome, so basically you just know how big his bank account is. But is he funny? What does he like to do when he’s not paying his mortgage?”
If we weren’t in public (read: if I wasn’t so close to ordering my beyond delicious latte) I would have promptly turned around, hugged Voice of Reason, and then asked her to be my new best friend.
“Well,” BlackBerry Worshipper began to answer. “I don’t really know, he likes to eat sushi. And text, obviously…but seriously though, who cares? He’s secure and stable and is good at life.”
And then, I vomited in my mouth a little.
Oh, my little technology loving friend. I’ve got news for you.
We as a generation are entering the stages of our lives where we are no longer judging each other’s success rate by how many friends we have or how great we are at certain activities. Now, it’s about the job and the paycheck. And somehow, in BlackBerry Worshipper’s mind and I’m sure many, many others judging by other conversations I’ve heard, the bigger the paycheck the more “stable and secure” the person.
No. No. No.
This couldn’t be more wrong.
Remember Freddy Frat Guy that was able to do forty-second keg stands and he still believed that after he was able to hold an “intellectual” conversation about how liberals were ruining the world? Yeah, he grew up to be Freddy-the-big-fat-check-financier.
How about Silly Suzie who you could always count on for the best weekend stories of air-headed debauchery? She’s now running a law firm but still goes out every weekend to “keep the name alive“. Still think that just her job makes her absolutely amazing at life decisions? Probably not.
Everyone, but women especially, need to stop looking for stable people by searching through their wallets. While yes, it is nice to have a partner who you won’t have to lend your hard-earned green to so he can cover his electric bill…and heat bill…and bass guitar payment that will someday make him rich, you also shouldn’t consider a man who can cover his bills a completely stand-up citizen.
Maybe in the down economy, anyone that can pay for their bills is considered a well-off person, both financially and emotionally. But money, as we’ve been preached to about, is not everything.
I’m not about to get all crazy feminist on you in this post, but a majority of us women at this stage in the game have access to ways to better ourselves than just reaching into men’s wallets. That’s all I’m saying.
Get to know the guy beyond the coin before you rule that he‘s a great life-achiever. Or at least know his favorite color, BlackBerry Worshipper. You’re killing other quality divas’ reputations with your shallow success-quality scale.
You can follow Dating Diva on Twitter: @LisaDiVirgilio