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Me-Day V-Day Declaration

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33820pcn_biel18“You’re a liar. Straight liar,” my friend, Kyle, said. “No way any girl who says she doesn’t really care about Valentine’s Day is telling the truth.”

I was shocked. Was I really the first girl to ever admit I’m not that into Valentine’s Day? And if so, am I breaking some pact I didn’t get the memo about keeping it a secret?

I can’t say I’ve always been like this. Let’s be honest, in high school when they sold carnations I secretly believed I would die if I didn’t receive one from the boy I liked at the time. Lucky for me and my mental sanity, I basically “dated” (AKA held hands with, had awkward silences on the phone with and used “hehehehe” way too much in AIM conversations with) the same person throughout that time period, so I pretty much had it in the bag every year.

I’m sure some readers will say it’s a “Hallmark holiday, intended to get consumers to dump loads of cash into products they would never buy on a regular basis and no one should play into it.” Yeah, we’ve all heard that a million times, jaded commenter.

But my question is: if this wasn’t so hyped up, would people respond to it the way they do?

“There is no such thing as Valentine’s Day without flowers, cards, candy and stuffed teddy bears, it just doesn’t exist then, at least not in my girl’s mind,” Kyle said jokingly when I asked him.

The main argument is that we know it no other way, just like other major holidays throughout the year.

Valentine’s Day starts with us as young children having our parents buy Valentine’s Day cards that we would address to all of our classmates and take in the next day to place in special pouches laid out on everyone’s desks in elementary school. In middle school and high school, we’re given a little more responsibility and able to choose who we want to give cards and gifts out to. Then comes college. Either you’re “too cool” to celebrate it, which means you’re trying to be a non-conforming cool kid, don’t have a significant other and/or frat party event planning and promoting has taken over your life or option C is that you’re so in puppy-love that you’ll go crazy with it.

I enjoy the concept of taking time out on a special day to show the person you care about just how much they mean to you. Life can be so crazy and hectic that showing someone just how you feel about them everyday can be swept to the side and replaced by other daily tasks.

So yes, if you have someone special, take the time out to tell them you care. Don’t go over the top. It IS a consumer holiday, and buying someone the world because of it doesn’t mean you love them anymore than giving them a hand-written card. In fact, I’m pretty sure a hand-written note will go a lot further than a stuffed dog that barks, “I RUVVVV you,” when you squeeze its paw.

I have to tell you though, I still don’t 100 percent buy into this whole you must have a Valentine to participate on Valentine’s Day thing. We’re putting way too much pressure on the other person to make us happy if that’s the case.

What day is the day that is marked specifically to love, care and cherish yourself and the life you’ve made? Which day have we marked on the calenders to take a moment and be proud of everything you’ve accomplished? Oh, that’s right. There isn’t a day like that.

We beat ourselves up everyday to get where we are. And a lot of the time we rarely get a thank you in situations that truly deserve more than those two words. We should find reason to throw a huge celebration for just surviving every single day in this insane world. Yet, we’re so worried about making other people happy that we forget about taking some time out to make ourselves happy. Kind of backwards, right?

It’s time to stop relying on other people to tell us that we’re amazingly fabulous.

I’m calling on all women (and men) to declare your day. A day where you go out and get something nice for yourself. Treat yourself to a dinner and movie of your choosing. Come back and eat some chocolate without worrying about how many laps you’ll have to run later to burn it off.

Now that’s the kind of day I can fully stand behind.

It is, afterall, the time of the year where love is overflowing. Why not keep a little of that love for yourself, you pretty young thing?

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Categories: General

3 Responses

  1. Melissa says:

    I think people can spend it however they want. It’s when they feel forced to “celebrate” it that they should have a talk with their significant other and be like, “Hey, why do we have to save all the good stuff for this one day? It’s a lot of pressure!” There’s no need for it. Personally, I’d rather have my bf show me he cares on a day when I’m least expecting it or when I need it the most. It has nothing to do with red hearts and Hallmark, but everything to do with knowing that I’m glad to have him. Big difference there, you know?

  2. Reese says:

    It is very true. I’m one of those jaded, cynical people when it comes to Valentines day. While, I guess I should say I was.

    In recent years, I’ve learned to bypass the hype. If I didn’t have a significant other that year, then I would spend it with friends. They would be my ‘valentines’ and we would do small things for each other. We left cards on each others doors to brighten up their day and a small secret admirer event where we all laughed and exchanged candy hearts and gifts.

    Even last year when I did have a partner, I still did small things. I bought his favorite chocolate and some coffee, gave him a card telling him how amazing I think he is and how much he means to me. A card he still reads everyday. Then, he gave over for chocolate and coffee so we could spend some time together on a very hectic day for the both of us. I have to admit, it was the most perfect valentines day for the simple pleasure of getting to spend it with him. It didn’t need to be flashy for it to be wonderful.

  3. Jessi says:

    So true!! I spent HOURS getting my boyfriend stuff for V-day and it all ends up just being over in a flash! Plus, I think by the end, neither one of us remember what we did for each other the year before or even that day. But I will ALWAYS remember a written note, especially because you get those lines every once in a while that take your breath away.

    Bottom line: ALL men should write their ladies a letter for Valentine’s Day if they really want to make them feel amazing!!