There seems to be a pretty large, and equally frightening epidemic sweeping our nation, and it is not something that has started over night, it has been working towards this for a couple decades at the least.
we are upon a generation of women who have little to no self esteem. They allow men to walk all over them, cheat, abuse, and really do whatever a man says. Now before you go on about how this is not new, I am aware that there have been situations like this taking place as long as men and women have been on earth, but the extent it is to today has taken a whole new toll on society.
My realization of this started while scanning through posts on a website called Cafe Mom over the weekend. I came across a post from a woman, pregnant, mother of two children already, all her children are under the age of 5, and her husband has been cheating on her (sleeping with other women) for the past 6 years. A light over my head went off, Huh? He is sleeping around, yet you have made the choice to have 3 children with him, and now want to know what you should do?
Now, I am not one for putting down women who are in abusive situations because I have close people in my life who have been through that type of a situation and slowly broke out over a period that spanned almost 4 years, but in the end she left. Which was a big boost to her self esteem.
Now lets really look at what self esteem is,
Self Esteem is defined by Webster’s Dictionary as : a confidence and satisfaction in oneself
Which in the above situation, and other situations that may mirror as similar situation show a lack of self esteem. Someone who allows a man to talk down to them, cheat on them, or any other type of abuse clearly is suffering from a back of confidence or satisfaction in their self. But how as women have we come to these situations in such large numbers? Go back 50 years and we were burning our bras, demanding equality, and saying we don’t need no stinking man!
A new book by author Sharlene Azam focuses on the problem and how we have got there. “Oral Sex is the new Goodnight Kiss” which is described as
This book and documentary film by Sharlene Azam, are about the recent emergence of teenage prostitution rings in affluent suburbs. Attractive, white, high school girls – 13, 14 and 15 years old – are having sex with up to 7 men a night, several times a week, so they can go shopping. Other girls are selling their virginity for $1000. These are not street prostitutes. ”They are the prettiest girls from the most successful families,” explains one expert. “Your daughter’s best friend is recruiting her right out of your house, right under your nose,” says Detective Randy Wickins of the Edmonton Vice Unit. Oral Sex Is The New Goodnight Kiss is a wake up call for parents, showing them girls who have been recruited, their mothers, their “friends” who recruited them (the new pimps), and the vice cops and experts who are trying to make sense of this new middle-class phenomenon.
I went to my local borders over the weekend after reading these posts, but also seeing a clip about this book on The View, which I have linked below.
The View : Oral Sex is the New Goodnight Kiss
This is where I take the time to sneak my opinion in about how we are raising our children. In a society where most families need a two parent income to even make ends meet, we have to make sure we are taking the time to talk to our daughters about their self worth, and the value of their own self. While also showing a good example of this at home through our relationships. Not only with our husbands, but also with other family members, and even strangers when we are out in public. But this does not stop with our daughters. This also extends to the young men that we are raising. As a mother of two boys, one of my biggest parenting goals is to teach them how a woman, or other young lady should be spoken to, and treated. I see so many children today blatantly disrespecting other children and even their parents (which I believe is directly connected to lack of parenting, time with children, and parents pre-occupied with other things).
We need to make a change with our generation before this continues and women end up back on the bottom of the totem pole like we started.
Thanks for the extra birth control…jeez
Comment by Lindsay — September 30th, 2009 @ 4:00 pm
I know way more empowered girls and women than I did 20 years ago. In fact, I can’t think of one good friend, relative, colleague or daughter of these women who are suffering from what you call “…a pretty large, and equally frightening epidemic sweeping our nation…” I think you’re confusing self-esteem with sex.
Also, teaching boys to speak to women and young ladies differently than… who? Old men, baby girls?… is sexist. Teach children to respect all people equally. And let’s take the time to talk to both our sons and daughters about their self worth, not just our daughters.
Teaching our sons to treat girls differently , and talking to only our daughters about self-esteem creates the illusion that one gender deserves special treatment over another. Now THAT’S putting us back several generations.
Comment by fransis — October 2nd, 2009 @ 10:55 am
Fransis, you took my posting out of context. Clearly children should be taught to treat all people with respect, but some of the young men I hear talking in the mall today, if they were my kid it simply would not fly. While there may be more career oriented women, there are still many dealing with abusive relationships.
And I fully believe that sex and self esteem go hand in hand. Many young girls look to sexual acts to get attention they may not be getting in other places.
Comment by elwood — October 2nd, 2009 @ 11:03 am