I am going to be away from blogging for a couple days because I experienced a great loss this past week.
I met Karen in 2008 when I started my ICAN chapter here in Connecticut. She was the very first person to contact me about ICAN and she was so excited. She came to all of our meetings, she spoke at meetings as she was an amazingly educated and helpful child birth educator as well as birth doula. I could always pick up the phone and have an instant answer to any question I had, she was just that good. As time went on we became much closer. We would chit chat on the phone for hours, all hours of the night, about God knows what. We would go to her house as a family to spend time with her, hang out, all have dinner together with her and her husband, and she just became a second mother to me.
Karen comforting me while in labor with Benjamin
When it came time to look for a doula for my VBAC, I couldn’t think of a better person, and of course she was the perfect fit. She was with me for my long labor, over 18 hours of it, all night long, slept in a chair in the hospital, and I couldn’t think of a better person to have supported me through my experience.
Yesterday I received an e-mail that she passed away through the grape vine, but only 6 hours earlier I had got an e-mail from her directly. I didn’t believe it. Which I think is the first step to accepting death for any person. Disbelief.
I e-mailed her immediately which was not answered. Over night, into the morning, and finally this afternoon I received an e-mail from her e-mail address. I was convinced that everything was ok, and it was not for real. Until I opened the e-mail and
Karen and Leigh helping me through another contraction
learned it was from Karen’s eldest son, and not her.
My world shattered.
She was my
Mentor
Second Mother
Friend
Support System
Doula
and I will miss her more than I will ever be able to actually put into words.
I am so glad you have these pictures and the special memory of having your dear friend at your birth. I met Karen what seems like many years ago when Joanne and I began the CT Doula Network and CT Birthing Community group. She always so exctied to connect with others and help us to spread the word about doulas and CBE. Take care of yourself
Renee
Comment by Renee — October 7th, 2009 @ 9:19 pm
That really is sad. I spoke to Karen when I was looking for a doula and she was really, really helpful. You can tell what a kind person she is in these photos. Thank you for sharing the pics. She certainly was a good- what’s the word- diplomat-representative- model- spokesperson- for doulas. I mean, she made a great impression on the phone for what a doula would be! Professional and caring.
Comment by FC Mom — January 2nd, 2010 @ 1:33 pm
Thank you… She was just an all around amazing person. We started as associated through the ICAN chapter here in the state, and we turned into the best of friends. We would chit chat on the phone nightly, our family would go over for dinner… It is still hard for me to get through, but she is in a much better place, and she is helping babies to be born from heaven.
Comment by elwood — January 2nd, 2010 @ 1:38 pm
[...] a few weeks before her death last year, Karen Kilson, a beloved local doula and childbirth educator, sent me this [...]
Comment by Science & Sensibility » Are upright birthing positions harmful? — April 8th, 2010 @ 2:28 pm