Pregnancy, Parenthood & Playtime

As someone who has been a first time mother, I know the anxiety of wondering whether or not your contractions are real, or just Braxton Hicks contractions. To help you from a number of trips to the hospital, ending back home without a baby, I thought I would put a couple tips together to help you know if you are really ready to have that baby or not!

So you ask, how will I really know?
Well lets start at the start of the Third Trimester. your uterus will begin to contract on its own, working up to the big day with practice contractions, or better known as Braxton Hicks contractions. Braxton Hicks contractions feel like period cramps, with slight tightening of the belly, and in reality, they feel like very mild labor contractions. Although sometimes, these Braxton Hicks contractions can be very painful. Sometimes they can actually even form a pattern and actually fool you into thinking you really are in labor. A couple helpful guidelines to follow are….

Timing of Contractions :

• False Labor : Often but irregular contractions, not usually close together.
• Real Labor : Come regularly, usually between 4-6 minutes apart, and will become closer together.
  Contractions last between 30 to 70 seconds.

Strength of Contractions :

• False Labor : Frequently weak, not getting stronger as time goes on or contractions progress, or a strong contraction followed by weaker contractions.
• Real Labor : Become stronger with time, as well as adding vaginal pressure.

Position Changes & Hydration :

• Sometimes dehydration in mothers can cause contractions to start. Making sure you are properly hydrated will help to eliminate the possibility of false labor.
• False Labor : Contractions most likely will stop if you change positions, get up, and walk around.
• Real Labor : Contractions will continue no matter what position you are in, or if you get up and walk around.

Pain with Contractions :

• False Labor : Normally will only be felt in the front of your belly.
• Real Labor : Contractions will likely start towards the back, and move to the front.

Now, all of this is not completely how to tell if and when you are really in labor, but it is a pretty good indicator.
So when should you grab your hospital bag and head to the hospital? Well if you are less than 36 weeks pregnant and experiencing what you think are real contractions, or anything alarming, call your provider. They may tell you to meet them at the hospital, or even at their office to see what is going on with you.
If you are close to your due date and your contractions are 3-5 minute apart, gaining strength and you really feel like “this is it” head for the hospital (unless planning a home birth.)

Even if you are not sure whether or not you really are in labor, go to your labor and delivery unit. It is better safe than sorry!

For the mothers who don’t have an easy time making it out of the house, or even live in a one car household and cannot leave the house during the day, there is a whole new generation and phenomenon of internet support systems. Websites, online forums, e-mail groups, and local online groups geared towards mothers, meeting other mothers in their area, and nationally.
While there may be some websites out there that include more drama than support, sometimes if you look carefully through the members, you can find a few good gems to carry on a friendship with.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I had a pretty complicated pregnancy, I was considered high risk (I am still trying to figure that one out) and being a naive first time mother, I had quite a few bouts with false labor. I was so worked up because my OB’s had told me they would be surprised if I made it to 36 weeks gestation, and the thought of my son coming a month early lead to much anxiety. Plus every little ache and pain I thought was something serious. I learned a lot with my second pregnancy and being under the care of midwives and it lead to a complication free pregnancy, learning so much more than I did under my initial OB care, and one hospital visit, which was when my son was born.

But there are many different websites, and message boards that mothers can check out to help build a support system.

Cafemom – Cafemom is a website, which includes moms from all over the world, and many different kinds of backgrounds. It has groups made for interacting with mothers due around the same time as you, pregnancy groups, postpartum support, post c-section support, breastfeeding support, and any other kid of support you could imagine.
MomsClick – Another type of website like cafemom, but just under a different kind of format. I find it slightly harder to navigate, but it you are internet savvy it isn’t too hard to figure out.
Mothering Magazine Forums – For the mothers who are more earth friendly, into things like baby wearing, cloth diapering, natural birth, and really just those who are readers of the wonderful Mothering Magazine, this is an excellent forum to hang out on. I have learned a ton about baby wearing in the time that I have spent on there.
Momspace – Haha, ya know… Momspace, kinda like myspace. It is basically like Cafemom and Momsclick, just under a different format, and they have more of a focus on your local area.
SheKnows Message Boards – I have found that the She Knows message boards tend to cater to the younger mother crowd, but they are great for due date month groups, but not someplace I would go to really learn or get educated.
My Best Birth Network - The new Ricki Lake film My Best Birth has an excellent website filled with forums, blogs, and videos that are not only being written by Ricki and other high profile mothers, but also your run of the mill mother. These forums and site focus more on natural birthing, and pregnancy.
IVillage – IVillage has a great pregnancy and parenting area, which you can post on forums and interact with other mothers about various different types of subjects. Everything from C-section support to VBACs, breastfeeding, and baby products. I find the site more mainstream than some of the others I have mentioned, but not as mainstream as something like Cafemom.
Pregnancy.About.Com – About.com has a lot of good subjects that you can check out and look up, they even have a pregnancy and birth section, which is written by another woman I write with frequently. There is a section for you to submit questions, and post on forums. It is another pretty mainstream site, but there is a wealth of information available.
Baby Center – I am very conflicted about this website. While there is great information in their forums, there is just as much bad information, and dramatic discussions. I find that some of their information and articles do not give full information, and some give inaccurate information. But depending on what you are looking for, these may be valuable to you. I just didn’t fit in much. Maybe one day I will give them another try?
Babyzone – Babyzone is another mainstream online forum, but I have not had much experience with it personally. But I have heard they have amazing VBAC information.
Moms Like Me – Another great forum, and this works on a local level. You click on the area closest to you, and you can chat with mothers in that area.

For the most part, those are the only ones I really know of. America Online used to have great ones, but they have since taken down most of their message boards. I was part of the Due in December 2007 board, but shortly after that they stopped making due in boards.

If you have any that you would like to add, please comment and add your favorite place to post!

A lot of women when they are expecting their first baby waste a ton of money on all the baby gadgets and what we are really told we need to raise a baby and be a good parent. I was one of those women with my first child, I had everything and the kitchen sink, little did I know how much of it I would actually use, and what I would look at and regret buying as it was a huge waste of money. I decided to pick apart the “must have” list from the Babies R Us website, since that is where the vast majority of women go to set up their registry.

I went over to their website, and clicked on the Babies R Us “must have” quick start registry, and this is where it all began.

Infant Car seat – Well of course you need an infant catseat, and in most hospitals they will not discharge your baby without a proper infant car seat. Some also will go out to your car (if you live in an area where personal vehicle use is the common mode of transportation) and make sure your car seat is installed properly. You can have your car seat installed properly at most police stations or fire houses.
Second Car Seat Base – Some may need it, and some may not. If you are a one car household, you certainly will not need a second base for your car seat. We did without one for a good 2 months before investing in one.
Convertible Car Seat – While all babies are eventually going to need to move into a convertible car seat, it is not something you need to buy until that time really comes.
Booster Seat - Again, while every child is going to eventually move into a booster seat, it is going to be a while before this occasion comes, don’t worry about it till that time comes!
Car Seat Toys – Again another hit or miss. For the first 1-2 months, it is something you really don’t need, and even once your little one starts to get older, you can always get other portable toys that you can attach or your baby can just hold. They do not need to be specific car seat toys that attach to the car seat itself. I can tell you, we never used any of the actual car seat toys.
Shopping Cart Cover – I can say again, this is something I have never used with either of my children. I simply have used the anti-bacterial wipes provided at the cart area, wiped quick and off we went. Sure you can invest in one, I just seem to think they are ridiculously over priced for what they are.
Travel System – I highly recommend a travel system. It includes an infant car seat, car seat base, and a stroller. I loved it but the one thing you should be careful about when purchasing a stroller or travel system is the weight of the system itself. I was originally registered for a travel system that was incredibly heavy and would have made getting the baby in and out of the car and getting the stroller in and out of the car a huge pain!  Test them out. Go to the store, test them out, pick them up… see what the weight is. Believe me, you will be grateful you did!
Stroller – If you do not opt for a travel system set up, there are various kind of strollers you can get. Full size, Lightweight, Jogging strollers, double strollers.. With this it depends on the need that you have. I was so sad the day I had to trade my travel system stroller for a double stroller to fit both of my little ones.
Stroller Toys - Again, it goes back to your need. We never bought any we would just use the car seat toys, or whatever other hand held toys we had hanging out around the house.
Stroller Diaper Bag – I tried the multiple diaper bag business, but when it comes down to it. One diaper bag is all you really need. If you try to have too many in different places, you will forget something you need!  Just keep one, and make sure to have it well stocked, and make sure you double check before you leave the house!
Diaper Bag – See above…
Baby Carriers – SKIP THE BABY BJORN!!!!! If you are interested in baby wearing, go for a safer sling, mei tai, or some kind of baby carrier that is not designed to support the baby from their crotch. This has been shown to be linked to hip dysplasia issues in infants and toddlers. I do plan to write an in depth post about this in time, but let me tell you, save the money and skip them!
Playyard/Travel Crib - If you do not travel a ton, they are $150 you can keep right in your pocket. If you plan on using one for co-sleeping or rooming in, go for the arms reach co-sleeper. They are smaller, more affordable, and have rave reviews. I wish I could have the $150 we spend on our playyard back. We could have used it for something we would have actually used… DIAPERS!
Swing – LIFE SAVER!  I don’t think I could have made it through the first 6 months of either of my children’s lives without a baby swing. They are costly these days, but worth EVERY penny. My ONE suggestion on swings is… get a PLUG in one, and skip the battery powered ones, unless of course you have stock in a battery company.
Bouncer – Another must have. I found that it was not only helpful for getting chores done around the house, showering, but also traveling to family members homes. It was small enough to fit in our small VW, and it could be used as stationary entertainment, someplace to sleep, and someplace to just make sure the baby was safe. Totally spend the money on one!
Stationary Entertainers – We love ours, but there is a catch. With both of our children, we did not start using it until they were tall enough, and strong enough to stand in it and touch the ground without the seat supporting them by the crotch. It goes back up to the baby carriers and hip dysplasia.
Walker – DANGER DANGER! Stay away from baby walkers. Not only have they been banned in MANY states, but they aren’t worth the risks that they posses to your baby!
Door Jumper – Again… DANGER DANGER DANGER!  Skip the door jumpers. They have been reported several times for causing serious injury.
Gyms & Play Sets – I am torn on this one. I enjoyed them with both of my children, but I cant help but say they are WAY over priced for what they actually are, and how long your child will actually use it for!
Breastfeeding Accessories – Ok, instead of writing these all down in different categories, I will tackle them all at once. If you are deciding to breastfeed, and you do not have to go back to work, skip the electric breast pump! Get a small, cheap, hand held one. You will save hundreds of dollars and save yourself a lot of aggravation. Also, if you are planning on breastfeeding, only get a couple bottles, the more you have, the more tempted you will be to use them!   Must haves include lanolin for mom as well as breast pads, you might as well buy stock in both of them because they will become your best friend.

I will stop here for today, I don’t want the post to get too long so that no one wants to actually read it! LOL
Stay tuned for part 2 and part 3!

Every year, many of us make a bunch of nonsense New Years Resolutions just to make them, knowing in most cases, we won’t have to adjust anything in our lives to actually accomplish them. But why not take some time and make some real changes in your life that not only will benefit you, your health, and family, but also our planet? With the abuse of resources we currently have in our world, why not take time to cut back on some of the things we take for granted?

Yesterday, while I was loading my dishwasher, I noticed one of my own abuses. I use an incredible amount of paper towels while i am in the kitchen. Whether it is cooking, doing dishes, or just cleaning up after the animals.  So I made it a point to tell myself, there is no reason to use so many, and I will be cutting back. But what are some other easy cut backs that we can make?

• Cut back on water use. – When washing your hands, turn off the water when you are soaping up, only run your washing machine or dish washer when they are really full, turning off the water while soaping dishes… just simple little things that can help conserve your water use.
• Skip the plastic bottled water! – Change over to a re-usable water bottle and invest in a water cooler or water filter for tap water. Since we invested in a water cooler, we have increased our water intake by double which is important for your health, but we have also decreased our spending on water by nearly 75%!
• Recycle!  It isn’t too hard to use that blue bin you have instead of just throwing that can or milk container in your garbage can.

These are just simple cut backs that are very easy to make!
But what about health changes?
There are the dreaded changes to our well being, health, eating habits, and overall just maintaining our health care instead of seeing the Doctor only when we are sick.

A couple changes that you could make for your own well being are (that can help in the money department) :

• Cut back on your soda!  (If you need it, cut it back to 1 can a day, or 1 glass.  (This is a big challenge for me!)
• See a Chiropractor for maintaining health care. You will see a world of difference in the first couple visits!
• Switch your average ground beef for hormone free ground turkey. Hear me out! I did this a couple weeks ago, testing it with our family taco night. NO ONE NOTICED it wasn’t ground beef!!!  My husband was shocked when I told him he was eating ground turkey instead!  (Ground turkey is also much cheaper)
• Take a walk… If its too cold out, go to the mall. Go to your local grocery store or walmart. There are a lot of options for indoor walking this time of year.
• Cut back on your fast food intake. Once and a while is ok, but eating it daily for lunch or dinner is not going to do your health any good!

Again, all simple things we can do to help!

Now, I know I wanted to focus on resolutions, but there are some things I would like to see in 2010.
I just wanted to include them as a tail end of this blog.

• I would like to see women NOT being threatened with court ordered medical procedures when they do not follow Doctors orders.
• I would like to see women who have had previous cesarean sections able to get insurance without having a “pre-existing condition”
• I would like to see changes in the way we handle maternity care in our country.
• I would like to see an increase in midwifery care and education in pregnant women.

I hope that new years will also bring me a nice stay at home work position so I can help out with some of the bills around the house.

Happy New Year!