A 12 Days of Christmas that’s 99 percent less expensive
The figures are in for the 12 Days of Christmas, a whopping $107,300, according to the Associated Press. That’s an increase of 6.1 percent from last year.
Here in the Mines, we realize not everyone is in the tax bracket that can afford the 12 Days, so we offer you another 12 Days of Christmas list courtesy of Bob and Doug McKenzie, famed Canadian philosophers from the Great White North. The McKenzies put their list together more than two decades ago and today, it’s total cost is $409.13, give or take a few bucks. That’s about 99 percent cheaper than the cost of the traditional list. We didn’t include the tree.
Just in case you’re unfamiliar with the McKenzies, here’s a link to an animated video of their performance:
Here are the items and a cost estimate taken locally in Connecticut and from the web for you to enjoy. Beauty, eh?
On the first day of Christmas, you can enjoy a beer, like our President in this file photo from the Olympics. It'll cost you anywhere from 94 cents, the price per unit in an 18 pack, or as much as $6 at some bars.
On the second day, pick up two turtlenecks, they actually haven't gone up much in price from the $22 one Sharon Stone sported from the Gap back in 1996 in this AP file shot. Two from LL Bean will run $49.96.
Three French Toast is a good deal at most diners in the region, where you can order three plates for $13.50
On the Fourth Day of Christmas, give your true love Bacon. The McKenzies weren't talking about this guy, but you could probably pick up four Bacon movies at a reasonable price
This is what the brothers had in mind, four pounds of bacon. That'll set you back $15.99, but everything is better with bacon.
On the fifth day, go for some headgear, like five golden toques. (Also known as sweater caps.)
Five caps adorned with a pro-team logo will cost $94.95. But as these ladies, knitting for a good cause, in this CT Post file photo, show, you can do it cheaper.
Beer is a favorite of the McKenzies and they offered up six packs of 2-4, which is six packs of 24 beers, or 144 beers. We found 30-packs are affordable and six of 'em will cost $107 for Busch. Sam's comes in 12 packs at most and will cost you more.
We don't actually recommend buying the seven packs of smokes for Christmas, though if you do, here in Connecticut it will burn up $56.
The Mines, however, does believe ordering seven cheeseburgers, would be in keeping with the spirit of the festivities. Try not to order seven like this one, a 10-foot monstrosity made in Minn. A decent set of seven burgers will run $31.50
Santa is sort of like a super hero, so why not shell out $60 for eight comic books, the low-rate collectible ones.
The McKenzies ran out of steam in their rendition of the 12-days and only hinted that they would have gone with doughnuts on the 12th day. Those of us who are strapped, thank them for skipping 9-11. But a dozen donuts in Connecticut can cost about $9.99, at least that's what the Cos Cob Dunkin said.