Real, realer, realest: OT, shootouts, standings

Aw, not this again.” “Quiet, you.

As we’ve been known to do here after the season ends…

The Real Standings (OTLs converted to losses, shootouts reverted to ties):

EASTERN CONFERENCE
ATLANTIC
y-W-B/Scranton       42  31   3   87
x-Hershey            37  26  13   87
x-Providence         39  31   6   84
x-Portland           40  33   3   83
x-Bridgeport         37  33   6   80
  Hartford           34  35   7   75
  Lehigh Valley      29  39   8   66
  Springfield        24  45   7   55

NORTH
z-Toronto            50  21   5  105
x-Albany             44  28   4   92
x-Utica              37  34   5   79
  Rochester          31  41   4   66
  Syracuse           30  40   6   66
  St. John's         30  41   5   65
  Binghamton         29  44   3   61

WESTERN CONFERENCE
CENTRAL
y-Milwaukee          41  26   9   91 (.599)
x-Lake Erie          41  28   7   89 (.586)
x-Grand Rapids       43  31   2   88 (.579)
x-Rockford           38  32   6   82 (.539)
x-Charlotte*         30  35  11   71 (.467)
  Chicago            29  40   7   65 (.428)
  Manitoba           26  45   5   57 (.375)
  Iowa               21  46   9   51 (.336)

PACIFIC
y-Ontario            44  23   1   89 (.654)
x-San Diego          35  27   6   76 (.559)
x-Texas              37  33   6   80 (.526)
  Bakersfield        30  35   3   73 (.463)
  San Jose*          28  34   6   62 (.456)
  Stockton           28  34   6   62 (.456)
  San Antonio        30  43   3   63 (.414)

*-change in playoff team

(Usual disclaimers: Yes, teams would play games differently under those rules, especially late in the year. Coaches coach differently. Players play differently. Strange things are afoot at the Circle K. Yes, we checked: San Jose dominated the season series with Stockton.)

But as we said last year, all the gimmicks, all the four-on-four turned three-on-three turned, now, all three-on-three: That’s Not Playoff Hockey (B.Thompson, c. 2012).

The Realer Standings (every overtime game reverted to ties):

EASTERN CONFERENCE
ATLANTIC
y-Providence         33  22  21   87
x-Hershey            32  21  23   87
x-Portland           35  27  14   84
x-W-B/Scranton       33  27  16   82
x-Bridgeport         31  29  16   78
  Hartford           27  32  17   71
  Lehigh Valley      27  35  14   68
  Springfield        19  42  15   53

NORTH
z-Toronto            41  16  19  101
x-Albany             35  20  21   91
x-Utica              32  26  18   82
  Syracuse           28  29  19   75
  St. John's         24  33  19   67
  Binghamton         25  38  13   63
  Rochester          25  38  13   63

WESTERN CONFERENCE
CENTRAL
y-Milwaukee          37  23  16   90 (.592)
x-Lake Erie          36  22  18   90 (.592)
x-Rockford           35  22  19   89 (.586)
x-Grand Rapids       35  30  11   81 (.533)
  Charlotte          26  32  18   70 (.461)
  Chicago            21  35  20   62 (.408)
  Manitoba           24  41  11   59 (.388)
  Iowa               14  41  21   49 (.322)

PACIFIC
y-Ontario            36  19  13   85 (.625)
x-Texas              33  25  18   84 (.553)
x-San Diego          28  23  17   73 (.537)
x-Bakersfield*       30  28  10   70 (.515)
  San Jose*          24  26  18   66 (.485)
  Stockton           21  32  15   57 (.419)
  San Antonio        22  35  19   63 (.415)

*-change in playoff team

(Usual disclaimers: Yes, teams would play games differently under those rules, especially late in the year. But even more so. Reality is an illusion. The universe is a hologram. Yes, we checked: Rochester and Binghamton split 10 games, all in regulation, so Binghamton finishes higher on GOAL DIFFERENTIAL, BABY.)

Basically the whole thing is a long exercise in database maintenance and retyping to annoy a few San Jose, Bakersfield and Charlotte fans. It’s just sort of what we do around here. (While catching up on Sunday-night TV. Any typos, blame “The Good Wife.”) Interesting to see who got dinged by overtime and shootouts and who really, really just is that good. And coincidentally, that’s Toronto and Ontario. (Coincidentally.)

If you enjoyed this one (cough), wait until tomorrow, when we talk goal differential and playoff teams.

Michael Fornabaio