“Aw, not this again.” “Quiet, you.”
As we’ve been known to do here after the season ends…
The Real Standings (OTLs converted to losses, shootouts reverted to ties):
EASTERN CONFERENCE ATLANTIC y-W-B/Scranton 42 31 3 87 x-Hershey 37 26 13 87 x-Providence 39 31 6 84 x-Portland 40 33 3 83 x-Bridgeport 37 33 6 80 Hartford 34 35 7 75 Lehigh Valley 29 39 8 66 Springfield 24 45 7 55 NORTH z-Toronto 50 21 5 105 x-Albany 44 28 4 92 x-Utica 37 34 5 79 Rochester 31 41 4 66 Syracuse 30 40 6 66 St. John's 30 41 5 65 Binghamton 29 44 3 61 WESTERN CONFERENCE CENTRAL y-Milwaukee 41 26 9 91 (.599) x-Lake Erie 41 28 7 89 (.586) x-Grand Rapids 43 31 2 88 (.579) x-Rockford 38 32 6 82 (.539) x-Charlotte* 30 35 11 71 (.467) Chicago 29 40 7 65 (.428) Manitoba 26 45 5 57 (.375) Iowa 21 46 9 51 (.336) PACIFIC y-Ontario 44 23 1 89 (.654) x-San Diego 35 27 6 76 (.559) x-Texas 37 33 6 80 (.526) Bakersfield 30 35 3 73 (.463) San Jose* 28 34 6 62 (.456) Stockton 28 34 6 62 (.456) San Antonio 30 43 3 63 (.414)
*-change in playoff team
(Usual disclaimers: Yes, teams would play games differently under those rules, especially late in the year. Coaches coach differently. Players play differently. Strange things are afoot at the Circle K. Yes, we checked: San Jose dominated the season series with Stockton.)
But as we said last year, all the gimmicks, all the four-on-four turned three-on-three turned, now, all three-on-three: That’s Not Playoff Hockey (B.Thompson, c. 2012).
The Realer Standings (every overtime game reverted to ties):
EASTERN CONFERENCE ATLANTIC y-Providence 33 22 21 87 x-Hershey 32 21 23 87 x-Portland 35 27 14 84 x-W-B/Scranton 33 27 16 82 x-Bridgeport 31 29 16 78 Hartford 27 32 17 71 Lehigh Valley 27 35 14 68 Springfield 19 42 15 53 NORTH z-Toronto 41 16 19 101 x-Albany 35 20 21 91 x-Utica 32 26 18 82 Syracuse 28 29 19 75 St. John's 24 33 19 67 Binghamton 25 38 13 63 Rochester 25 38 13 63 WESTERN CONFERENCE CENTRAL y-Milwaukee 37 23 16 90 (.592) x-Lake Erie 36 22 18 90 (.592) x-Rockford 35 22 19 89 (.586) x-Grand Rapids 35 30 11 81 (.533) Charlotte 26 32 18 70 (.461) Chicago 21 35 20 62 (.408) Manitoba 24 41 11 59 (.388) Iowa 14 41 21 49 (.322) PACIFIC y-Ontario 36 19 13 85 (.625) x-Texas 33 25 18 84 (.553) x-San Diego 28 23 17 73 (.537) x-Bakersfield* 30 28 10 70 (.515) San Jose* 24 26 18 66 (.485) Stockton 21 32 15 57 (.419) San Antonio 22 35 19 63 (.415)
*-change in playoff team
(Usual disclaimers: Yes, teams would play games differently under those rules, especially late in the year. But even more so. Reality is an illusion. The universe is a hologram. Yes, we checked: Rochester and Binghamton split 10 games, all in regulation, so Binghamton finishes higher on GOAL DIFFERENTIAL, BABY.)
Basically the whole thing is a long exercise in database maintenance and retyping to annoy a few San Jose, Bakersfield and Charlotte fans. It’s just sort of what we do around here. (While catching up on Sunday-night TV. Any typos, blame “The Good Wife.”) Interesting to see who got dinged by overtime and shootouts and who really, really just is that good. And coincidentally, that’s Toronto and Ontario. (Coincidentally.)
If you enjoyed this one (cough), wait until tomorrow, when we talk goal differential and playoff teams.