Such a sad time period we are experiencing with the loss of so many talented individuals – Farah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and Michael Jackson. Regardless of whether Michael Jackson’s music was a favorite or not, he was clearly a talented individual who had many inner demons tormenting his adulthood. He was a man who felt so deprived of his childhood that he built a home environment filled with every pleasure a child would/could seek. He also spent large amounts of time surrounded by children. His deep desire to be with children even brought him the suspicions of being a child molester. He certainly had the typical pedophile’s tools of seduction and seemed to disregard the advice of friends who tried to redirect his intense child-focused activities. A jury eventually found him not guilty when he was officially charged but suspicions remained.
Regardless of whether he was guilty or not of the accusations, it is crystal clear that his childhood had a huge negative impact on his adult lifestyle. He self-destructed like so many other talented individuals who appear to have had troubling backgrounds. During more than one interview he described how his father would train his children – with a belt in his hand. Michael said that he was lucky because he, “… was fast, and could out-run him but God help us when he caught us.” I always pray that parents and caregivers take seriously the lessons of parenthood when another well-known individual shows the ramifications of a troubled upbringing. While we all want to protect children from the seamier side of life, these circumstances can often serve as opportunities to learn about the impact of parenting styles and the repercussions to children’s adulthoods of parent/child interactions. Beating children into submission, depriving children of the freedom to be children, and making comments on a child’s appearance are all sure ways to raise a conflicted, insecure, and self-destructive adult. Not everyone will go to the extremes that Michael Jackson did – but surely if we look around at society, how many individuals do you know who appear to have self-inflicted problems in life? Some choose substance abuse, some choose unhealthy eating habits, others may choose negative personal relationships, maybe some choose work that makes them miserable but relish the misery – the choices can be in any area of life. My only thought today is a request. To all parents and caregivers: Think seriously about your interactions with children – don’t belittle, don’t ignore, don’t hit – BUT DO INCLUDE, DO VALUE, DO HUG, DO SHOW INTEREST. Someday you’ll be proud of the adult you have contributed to society – they are your legacy.
