Parents today often are accused of spoiling their children, handing them whatever they want and as a result, giving them a sense of entitlement. I’m sure there have been times when I’ve fallen into that trap. Not because I want my kids to be brats, but because I just want to give them the things or experiences that I wasn’t able to have when I was their age.
Recently we had a cheerleading dilemma. Our daughter wanted to try out for a club program that would have meant contracts, regular gym fees, coaches’ fees, competition fees, expensive uniforms and all the paraphernalia that goes with them, and other fees I’m forgetting at this moment. She wanted to do it, she said, because it would make her better. Already on her school’s varsity cheerleading squad, she thought joining the club team would give her more experience and help sharpen her skills even more. And she’s right – I’m sure it would.
So her father and I discussed it. She’s old enough, we thought, to be more vested in the process and show some respect for where all that money comes from that enables her to do the things she wants to do. Because she’s earning money by regularly walking a neighbor’s dog, we thought it was reasonable to ask her to contribute some of her own dollars toward the costs of club cheerleading. But wide eyes and the word “Why?” were the first response.
She’s a good kid, but I have some work to do. And for now at least – no club cheerleading.
Good for you for standing your ground. In my line of work, I tend to run into teenagers and those well into adulthood who don’t deal well with the word “no”.
Perhaps it’s time for her to see some of the household budget and what it really costs to keep the family fed, housed, clothed, tuitioned, etc, and the percentage of those resources which she herself consumes. Easing her into the concept that in the real world she will need to work for what she has may make the transition less of a shock when she gets older.
Of course, there’s a fine line here between being too strict and too lenient, and only you and your hubby can decide where that line is for you and your daughter. Good luck with this!