How do you learn to be a good in-law? I guess I should start by trying to be like my own mother-in-law, who I love dearly.
Not that being a mother-in-law is something I’ll be doing anytime soon, since none of my children are old enough to be seriously thinking about walking down the aisle. But both of my boys have girlfriends who have visited the house and despite my best attempts to make each feel welcome, apparently one of them did not.
So I’ve made a promise to myself that if she returns, I will re-double my efforts to be warm and welcoming. I’ll do my best to get home from work early and make nice sit-down family dinners, since the last time she visited was after my oldest’s college graduation and we ate catered party leftovers for pretty much the entire week she was here. After all, we paid a fortune for the food and I didn’t want it to go to waste!
But I guess I wasn’t thinking from the perspective of a teenager who is close to her family and was far from home. I guess we can be a bit intimidating — even when we don’t mean to be.
Maybe subconsciously I gave off bad vibes because my boys are my boys and I don’t want to share them. I hope that’s not the case because really, I don’t feel that way. In fact, part of me is looking forward to the day when they come to visit with my grandchildren… but let’s not get ahead of ourselves here!
First, apparently, I’ll need to learn to be a good in-law.
As a Mother-in-law for over 20 years the most important thing I learned is keep your mouth shut and your wallet open. I must admit that keeping the wallet open is easier than keeping the mouth shut. One of my sons is 47 and not married, but is dating again a woman who he went out with about 20 years ago. Their birthdays are the same day and just passed a week ago. I gave her gifts and a card that said you make my son happy and that makes me happy. Enough said.