OK, so I’m having big mother-guilt feelings about my recent decision: I am going to a family reunion without my 19-year-old son.
I have been in a bit of a quandary over what to do about this for several weeks now. It’s a family reunion. It also happens to be in a place that’s about a 7-hour drive away. And because of G’s work schedule, it would be impossible for us to arrive at the beautiful Great Lake(side) lodge with gorgeous outdoor swimming pool before about 3 a.m. on Saturday morning.
What was it a dying Spock said in that climactic scene in one of the Star Trek movies? “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” After much consideration, I decided that as sad as it will be to leave G at home — alone — it’s not fair to the rest of us to drive all that way and only get to spend a few hours with people we don’t see very often before turning around and coming back home on Sunday.
He’s OK with the decision, although I’m sure he’d have a great time swimming and enjoying the outdoor activities there. It’s me who’s wishing there was some way I could make it work.
It just seems wrong to go to a family reunion without my whole family. But it’s just another sign of changing dynamics. The kids are older and with that comes the reality of their own schedules for school and work. Those schedules don’t always jive with plans for trips and gatherings and other family activities.
I guess I’ve just got to get used to it. But it might take me a while!
The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few…or the one.
Live long and prosper.
Peace and Long Life
Becky,
I went to Pipestem once – in my 30s – I am certain my mother doesn’t feel guilty about that. G will have another opportunity, don’t worry about it! It IS hard when they grow up – but believe me, the liberation you feel when you are no longer responsible for them, is life-changing. Your time will come!
Ellen
Sorry Becky,
Your kids are growing (or grown) up. This is going to happen more and more as they move on with their own lives. How many vacations with Mom and Dad did we skip once we hit our late teen years? Don’t feel guilty and have a great time with the rest of the family.
Eric