Midlife Mom

Navigating the teen years… and beyond
About Rebecca Haynes

Archive for November, 2012

Say no to smart phones

Wednesday, November 28, 2012 by:Rebecca Haynes
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I’m about to jump off a cliff and get myself in trouble. Kids don’t need smart phones.

There, I said it.

We have computers for Internet access and a 12- or even 16-year-old doesn’t need to be able to google Justin Bieber from her cell phone. Don’t our kids have enough electronic distractions?

Then there’s the cost. Of course, I know plenty of parents who shell out the extra $30 per phone, per month, so their kid (or kids) can use a smart phone. I’m just not one of them.

Our oldest was 24, a college graduate and gainfully employed before he got a smart phone, which he pays for himself and also needs for work e-mail since he travels for his job. Next in line, I know G, at 21, wants one. He was inquiring about it while home from college over Thanksgiving. Sorry. Not gonna do it. Wouldn’t be prudent (and yes, I am mimicking Dana Carvey’s impression of George Bush No. 1 when I say that out loud). And K, our high school senior, knows not to even bring up the subject.

Our two youngest have phones from which they can call and text to their heart’s desire, or as any situation warrants.

Sure, they can get a smart phone — when they pay for it themselves.

Let’s give thanks!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012 by:Rebecca Haynes
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Most of us have lots to be thankful for.

Most of us didn’t lose our homes or possessions in Hurricane Sandy. Most of us are healthy and still have jobs and are able to take care of ourselves and our families.

So let’s not forget these things as we sit down to the Thanksgiving table. Let’s offer up a big thank you for our blessings and do our part to help others who need it.

And a Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Please say yes, Ms. College Admissions Officer!

Friday, November 16, 2012 by:Rebecca Haynes
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It has begun.

Last night K clicked “Submit” on the first of her college applications. It was part relief, part terrifying. Being the editor that I am, I’m always afraid some detail was missed or some T wasn’t crossed. But there comes a time when you just have to go with it. You just have to hit the send button.

She’ll be repeating the process several more times over the next few weeks. It’s stressful. Does her essay really make her come alive for the admissions officer who will read it? Will her high school resume hold up when compared to the thousands of other kids who will also be applying? And those SAT scores she worked so hard for. If only there were another 50 points to add!

We all think our kids are terrific. But their future is placed in the hands of a college admissions officer — generally a complete stranger — who will say, “Yes” or “No.”

Time to take a deep breath and move forward.

Marking time with school pics

Monday, November 12, 2012 by:Rebecca Haynes
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Have you gotten your kids’ school pictures yet?

K had her all-important senior portrait taken and we already have our order. The 8×10 is framed and up on the piano, so my set is complete. Her brothers’ senior pictures — sadly a bit outdated at this point — flank hers.

I have a tradition that I’m guessing many of you share. I keep all of the school pictures inside the frames I display them in. So every year when the new one comes, I take out all of the past photos and line them up and look at how that child has grown over the years. I just did that with K’s pictures. I can’t believe she’s almost 18. It’s so cliché, but it literally does seem like just yesterday that she was the toothless first-grader grinning back at me from that year’s photo.

One of my co-workers does the same thing. I just got to see pictures of her daughter from years past as she brought this year’s new photo in for display on her desk. I’m hoping I’ll get to see her son’s pictures when that new one comes in.

It’s a universal “mom” thing, I think. And it’s a tradition I’ll miss since this year is the end of the line for school pictures in our family.

All good things must come to an end.

That radio still works?

Friday, November 9, 2012 by:Rebecca Haynes
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Do you recognize the item in this picture?

Most of our kids have never used a transistor radio, but this one was my family’s connection to the world and what was happening after we lost electricity when Hurricane Sandy hit.

This little portable radio was one of my favorite possessions, a Christmas gift from circa 1970, I believe. I’m amazed it’s even still around. It only gets AM stations, since FM wasn’t really mainstream at the time — at least not where I lived. It even had the single ear piece I could plug in and use to listen in private, an attachment that has long since been lost.

Using the radio over those few days last week got me thinking about my attachment to it, in relation to my kids’ attachment to their iPods and cell phones and all other forms of electronic devices. Sure, this little radio was a simpler device in a simpler time, but it served much the same purpose, giving me the ability to listen to what I wanted to hear and tune out whatever I didn’t.

And even though it didn’t directly connect me with my friends, it enabled me to connect with the music (even on commercial AM radio) that meant something to me. I do think there’s a similarity there. The difference, of course, is that I didn’t keep my little radio with me 24/7, sometimes ignoring real life going on around me as my attention was consumed by the device.

Still, I’ll think of this little radio the next time I see a teenager (or other young person) plugged into their iPod, oblivious to the world.

Carrying on the voting tradition

Wednesday, November 7, 2012 by:Rebecca Haynes
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No matter the results of yesterday’s elections, I hope you voted.

It’s a privilege that I’m happy is now extended to two out of three of our kids. (K missed out on this election by a couple of months, turning 18 in January). I’m happy to report that G sent in his absentee ballot from college and C went to the polls before work yesterday morning, same as me.

It’s important that our kids care enough to vote — to participate in shaping our country and making important decisions on who will lead us. We won’t always agree with them (or each other, for that matter), but that’s the beauty of living in a free country.

It’s my hope that this next generation can fix our very broken political system. Maybe they’ll figure out a way to get past the partisanship and get everybody working together. Or a way to make productive use of social media as a source of accurate and impartial information to help us make informed decisions, rather than spewing biased information as if it’s fact. Ditto for many of the cable TV “news” channels. (And this applies across the board, even those that I philosophically agree with.)

But I digress.…

It’s a great feeling to vote. And to know your kids are voting. It makes me a proud mama! I hope the rest of you feel the same, and that your kids who were eligible to vote did so.

Giving thanks for minor inconveniences

Friday, November 2, 2012 by:Rebecca Haynes
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Isn’t it amazing what we take for granted?

Things like a roof over our heads, electricity, working appliances and the ability to store food safely, cook it and put it on the table for our families. Access to hot water and being able to shower/bathe. A home that keeps us, our families — and all of our possessions — safe, warm and protected.

But sometimes Mother Nature has different ideas. She challenges us. Tests us. Her wrath is random.

The devastation from Hurricane Sandy is heartbreaking. Life has forever changed for so many in the region. But we are resilient! Neighbors are helping neighbors and communities will pull together.

My family doesn’t live on the shore, so we experienced no flooding. We were lucky. Downed trees, some closed roads, no mass transit into the city, no school, a couple of days without electricity and some issues finding gasoline — all no big deal. In fact, a situation to be thankful for in the scheme of things. It could have been so much worse — just look at the pictures coming out of New Jersey and parts of Long Island, and the Sound shore communities in Fairfield County.

So let’s make sure to teach our kids to appreciate what they have. To not take our luxuries for granted. To help those who need it. To know that life doesn’t revolve around electrical gadgets and social media.

It’s just too bad it takes a storm like Sandy to make doing so a priority for so many of us.