Midlife Mom

Navigating the teen years… and beyond

Archive for 2013

Taking back the house

Wednesday, June 19, 2013 by:Rebecca Haynes

We’re in the process of taking back space — specifically, the bedroom our boys shared for most of their childhood.

In the span of a couple of weeks, both of our sons (ages 25 and 22) moved out. It’s as it should be, I suppose, but I still can’t help but be a little sad. At first I thought I’d want to move our bedroom up there, since it’s significantly bigger than the one we’re in. But I’m in no hurry. Maybe we’ll just make it a guest room, since there’s a second bathroom up there with privacy and easy access.

Of course, there is a good feeling that comes with the purge of items as they leave your house — or just knowing that whatever’s left behind can be tossed. There are also two less people to clean up after. I’m expecting a smaller grocery bill. And the finished basement is actually presentable without the contents of an entire hockey bag constantly laid out to dry.

Yes, this will take some getting used to.

Another closing chapter

Friday, June 14, 2013 by:Rebecca Haynes

Seems like the closing chapters just keep on coming.

Tonight K will go to senior prom. She’s decided to do her own hair, and has been practicing various styles over the past few days to make sure she’s happy with how it looks. And I think she was video chatting with a couple of friends up in her room last night, cascading curls and all, to get feedback on which style looked the best.

I look forward to seeing her all dressed and ready to go tonight. She’ll be stunning.

Prom has served as a nice distraction. It’s probably helped to keep her mind off of Gracie, her little gray dwarf rabbit, who died on Wednesday. Gracie’s death was very quick and very sudden and we have no idea why it happened. But she’s been K’s pet and friend for the past six years and lived a quiet and comfortable life, mostly in K’s bedroom. Maybe she sensed K’s impending departure for college?

Next week is graduation and the following week K goes for college orientation. Like it or not, my kids are taking me on ride that’s bringing dramatic changes to our family.

Just have to hang on and try to enjoy it!

Winning the grand prize

Wednesday, June 12, 2013 by:Rebecca Haynes

The excitement never stops in our house.

A college graduation (and party) in the books. Senior prom on Friday night. High school graduation next week. College orientation a week after that.

Now we find out that K is the grand-prize winner in a sweepstakes offered by a discount department store for an all-expense-paid trip to LA. She couldn’t contain her enthusiasm (which believe me, is usually buttoned up tight around the parental units).

So my husband and I checked it out today and it appears to be legit. It’s a short trip (terms say 1 day and two nights) and the main point apparently is to visit a textile recycling factory there. But it’s Los Angeles, a place K has wanted to visit.

Of course, she hasn’t really thought about the fine print. The fact that “1 day” probably means that all-expense-paid guarantee only covers said expenses for one day. Or the fact that 1 day and 2 nights in LA isn’t going to give her the time she needs for the sight-seeing she’d like to do. We did tell her that because the rules say which form has to be filed with the IRS, she’ll have to pay taxes on this gift come next April, which she seems perfectly content to do!

Right now her 18-year-old eyes are filled with stars and thoughts of the California beaches! Stay tuned…

Hang on to those connections

Monday, June 10, 2013 by:Rebecca Haynes

Don’t you love it when you plan something and everything goes off great – even better than you anticipated?

That’s how I’m feeling today after we threw a college graduation party for our son G this past weekend. I think the thing I liked most is that so many of his friends came. Not only friends he grew up with in our small town, but his group of close college friends.

It was wonderful and bittersweet. They were so happy celebrating with each other and made the most of the weekend and their time together. But now they go their separate ways — and I think it’s just now hitting them.

Lucky for G, he’s had a good role model where friendships are concerned: his dad has bucked the odds and maintained close bonds with many of his childhood — and college — friends.

And I think it’s rubbed off on him. G has always been about connecting with people and bringing people together, and I have no doubt that will continue now that he’s starting his own adult life away from the college campus.

Taking the kids along — or not

Friday, May 31, 2013 by:Rebecca Haynes

I’m not sure my philosophy has paid off.
I was always one of those parents who didn’t believe in taking the kids with us everywhere my husband and I went. We got baby-sitters. It was just better that way, I thought. It allowed us to go places and have fun with other adults and not worry about keeping the kids occupied or making sure they behaved.
Some of it was a no-brainer. Of course we didn’t consider taking the kids along to adult functions. It was the gray area in between where my husband and I began to disagree – especially as the kids got older and were no longer in need of someone to watch over them while we were out.
Maybe I carried it on a bit too long? I gravitated toward the let-them-stay-home-because-they-won’t-talk-to-anybody-anyway philosophy. But maybe taking them with us would have taught them at an earlier age to socialize with adults and be better conversationalists? As adults themselves now, some of my kids are more comfortable than others in a room filled with people who are not their age, but older.
Is this just their personality? Or did my philosophy backfire?

What day is it?

Wednesday, May 29, 2013 by:Rebecca Haynes

It’s Wednesday!
And I don’t say that emphatically because Wednesday is any particular day of note this week – unless you count the fact that I originally thought it was Tuesday.
Is it just me? Am I getting so old I can’t keep track of the days? Or is it just the fact that Monday was a holiday and we had a long weekend?
Because the next two weekends will be particularly busy for our family, with lots to do to get ready, we opted to stay home this holiday weekend and use the time to check items off our to-do lists. So after a day of doing just that, I got myself a beverage and sat down at 11:25, turned on the TV and prepared to watch “Saturday Night Live.” The news ended and I waited to see who was this week’s host. Then a weekly sports recap show came on. “Where is SNL?,” I thought to myself as I began to flip channels.
Then the duh moment came. It was Sunday.
Let’s hope all of you know what day it is.

Moving toward the empty nest

Friday, May 24, 2013 by:Rebecca Haynes

Two down, one to go!

Our second graduated from college last weekend. He’s going to be a teacher, but before the school bell rings this fall he’ll get what I assume will be his last “summer” job experience — a counselor at a sleep-away environmental education camp.

So although he’ll be home for a couple of weeks before the camp starts, these next few months will be a time of big transitions for our family. Our oldest has given us notice that he’s looking for an apartment and will be moving out as soon as a suitable location is found (the goal being sometime this summer). And our daughter will be going off to college in late August.

Is it bad that I’m already thinking about another use for the boys’ bedroom? It’s the biggest bedroom in the house and will make quite a nice master suite for my husband and I!

A breast cancer dialogue

Thursday, May 16, 2013 by:Rebecca Haynes

Times sure have changed.

Thirty years ago I was a new reporter on a health beat, and remember writing a story about new trends in breast reconstruction surgery. It was an evolving field and the procedure wasn’t as common as it is today — even for cancer patients. Many women who had to undergo what were called “radical” or “modified radical” mastectomies lived the rest of their lives with scars where their breasts used to be. Insurance carriers, for the most part, considered reconstruction “cosmetic” and wouldn’t cover it.

Today, reconstructive surgery is a normal part of the breast cancer dialogue. And it’s a welcome light at the end of the tunnel for women faced with the devastating diagnosis. Yes, they have to battle cancer and everything that goes with it. But they no longer have to live their lives feeling deformed or scarred. They can look like a “normal” woman.

We’ve come a long way. Hard to believe we still haven’t figured out how the beat the cancer before it starts.

Page 1 of 412 3 4 Next »