Our bellies are shaking. Our thighs are quivering. And our arteries are closing faster than a driver’s license office at 4:59 p.m. on a Friday.
Gentle readers, meet the Krispy Kreme cheeseburger.
Visitors at the Wisconsin State Fair got to sample this treat, which weighs at 1,000 calories, according to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.
We’re talking a doughnut cut in half, then grilled.
After all, you wouldn’t want to miss a chance to lard a lard product.
Hey, where's my bacon? Photo by Getty Images
Then your meat and cheese are added. The good folks in Wisconsin, whose bratwurst consumption is legendary, also liked it with bacon. Chocolate-covered bacon.
One in four asked for the bacon. After all, you can’t fly on one wing. And you can’t walk after eating this.
The Christian Science Monitor reports that the glazed cheeseburger apparently got its start when Chandler Goff, a chef in Decatur, Ga., dreamed it up.
Something tells us that Mr. Goff is about to win an award of appreciation from America’s heart surgeons.
Why the strong reaction? She had a restraining order against the man and, in her eyes, no contact including any and all social networking.
Now the man, who has a history of domestic abuse charges stemming from his marriage, sits in jail waiting for someone to bail him out to the tune of five thousand smackers.
In hindsight, he does admit the move was, as he put it, “stupid.”
The Gregory brothers, who have already had exposure in the mainstream media, may be riding this all the way to a television show on Comedy Central.
You couldn’t possibly make this up.
The saga has also opened up a more serious discussion of racial stereotypes in the media, particularly regarding the airing of this interview to begin with.
But Dodson, 24, of Hunstville, Ala. is getting his fifteen minutes and more. Shortly after “Bed Intruder” reached multi-platinum Internet meme status, Dodson launched a website, t-shirt line and has appeared on numerous talk shows and radio programs. (Not to mention a 50/50 split of iTunes proceeds from the Gregory Brothers Auto-Tuned version of his “unintentional singing.”)
Meanwhile, The Gregory brothers divulge their involvement in a pilot for Comedy Central in an interview with Wired.com’s Eliot Van Buskirk.
Their most recent hit before “Bed Intruder” was their version of “Double Rainbow” which hit the web in July, but they have also made a splash with their work Auto-Tuning national political stories.
Michael Gregory (from Wired):
We’re really having fun with it, and we’ve been musicians and composers for a long time in different genres. For me, this was just a new, novel way to make music that hasn’t really been done before, and I’m loving doing it. In the future, we could certainly continue to do this, or we could just make music the way people normally do. Also, we’re doing a pilot right now.
They go on to explain that it will be mostly “behind the scenes.” Who knows what that means, but it is almost gauranteed to be more entertaining than The Roast of David Hasselhoff.
ABOVE: Dr. Laura Schlessinger speaks in L.A. earlier this year.
Proving she’s still crazy after all these years, Dr. Laura Schlessinger drops the n-bomb 11 times during a conversation on her radio show with a black female caller whom Schlessinger suggests might be hypersensitive to issues of race.
Black guys use it all the time. Turn on HBO and listen to a black comic, and all you hear is n****, n*****, n*****. I don’t get it. If anybody without enough melanin says it, it’s a horrible thing. But when black people say it, it’s affectionate. It’s very confusing.
It really isn’t that confusing. You aren’t allowed to say it. Period.
The apology:
“Yesterday, I did the wrong thing,” she said. “I didn’t intend to hurt people, but I did. And that makes it the wrong thing to have done. I was attempting to make a philosophical point, and I articulated the “n” word all the way out – more than one time. And that was wrong. I’ll say it again – that was wrong.”
While still a popular radio host, Schlessinger is no stranger to controversy; her 2000 CBS television show was short lived, in no small part due to her views on homosexuals.
Before that, there was the nude photo fiasco. Feminists aren’t huge fans either.
And then there’s the whole thing about her not actually being an actual doctor — though she holds doctorate in physiology from Columbia.
This one’s sure to give you the nom nom’s. Or a heart attack.
Denny’s diner has come out with a new sandwich that makes for the mother of all grilled cheese sandwiches: the Fried Cheese Melt. Four deep-fried mozzarella sticks, slathered in bubbling American cheese, sandwiched between two pieces of buttered and grilled sourdough bread. It’s served with French fries and a marinara dipping sauce.
All 895 calories of the sandwich will set you back only $4, as it is one of five new items on their $2, $4, $6, $8 value menu. Boy, Denny’s really is making breakthroughs on helping make healthy food cheaper.
The Huffington Post reported Wednesday that former Vice President Dan Quayle’s son Ben Quayle has, in his newest campaign ad, called Barack Obama the “worst president in history.”
Apparently, anything Obama does, Quayle can do better.
In the ad Quayle, currently running for Congress in Arizona’s 3rd District, says that “his generation will inherit a weakened country.”
“Drug cartels in Mexico, tax cartels in D.C.” he says. “What’s happened to America?”
See his campaign ad here:
As for Quayle’s claims against President Obama? Two recent surveys, done by Siena College Research Institute in 2010 and C-SPAN in 2009, have listed Andrew Johnson and James Buchanan as the worst presidents in history.
President Obama, featured only in the 2010 Siena poll, placed 15th right between Andrew Jackson and Lyndon B. Johnson.
It’s last call for “Cathy,” the long-running comic strip known for its frazzled, chocolate-eating title character.
Who will complain about swimsuit season now?
Creator Cathy Guisewite told the Chicago Tribune she’s retiring from the comic strip to spend more time with her family.
“I suddenly found myself up against this wall: That if I don’t quit now, then when?” Guisewite told the Tribune. “My daughter is 18, and she is going into her last year at high school, and I want to be completely available for her before she moves out. My parents live in Florida, and I really need to be available for them too. Also, I am 60 and I just realized that there is a lot more that I want to do creatively.”
Cathy, with her iconic straight hair and frequent stress attacks, became a standard in the funny papers in 1976. Its last day will be Oct. 3.
This video was uploaded to YouTube.com back in May, but recently it’s been making the rounds across Facebook. The 10-minute video is a compilation of soldiers returning home and surprising their children, spouses and loved ones. It’s a burst of pure joy and likely will have you in tears.
You may recognize the music from another famous viral video. The song is called “Praan,” composed by Garry Schyman and performed by Palbasha Siddique. It was made famous by Matt Harding’s travelogue video, known colloquially as “Dancing 2008″. It’s uplifting in a completely different way, but will still keep you from grouchily wishing it was Friday.
