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Mitt Romney to college grads: Quick, get married, make a bunch of babies

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Romney suggests you have a “quiverfull of children if you can.” (Photo via Associated Press)

Mitt Romney shared some questionable (though, if you’re into that biblical stuff, pretty righteous) advice with a gathering of college grads about how to live a full life.

Quoting scripture, Romney, a former Mormon lay bishop, told an audience of Mormon college graduates to “launch out into the deep” instead of  ”living in the shallows.” In other words, go from zero to fruitful ASAP, he says. Find “the one,” join in holy matrimony and start pumping out progeny.

“If you meet someone you love, get married. Have a quiver-full of kids if you can,” the failed 2013 presidential candidate told 100-plus graduates of Southern Virginia University at their commencement last weekend.

Forget about waiting until you’re in your 30′s or 40′s, he continues. What, you want to start your life as an independent adult? Live a little? Travel? Maybe pursue one dream or another until you stumble into your own coming-of-age without a spouse by your side?

Those types, Romney dramatically remarks, “they’re going to miss so much of living, I’m afraid.”

Right. Those poor unattached 20-somethings, wallowing in loneliness while they wait for a partner to help them discover a purpose and unburden themselves from the trials and tribulations of single adulthood. That’s what they get for their self-centered pursuit of happiness. They’ll probably end up at 43 years old in a one-room apartment, eating fistfuls of melting Dibs, perusing profiles on ChristianMingle.com, long past their baby-makin’ prime. Smite!

“Launch out into the deep and your nets will be filled,” Romney preaches. “Getting married is one way of launching out in the deep.”

The audience chuckles.

“Now bringing children into the world is also launching into the deep,” he continues.

Silence. This just got serious.

“Children are a heritage of the Lord, offspring a reward from him … blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them,” says Romney, quoting Psalm 127. That’s a Bible passage that, as Mother Jones notes, is more commonly associated with the Christian Quivefull movement, which rejects contraception and feminism in lieu of having as many kids as you can to propagate the earth with an army of “God’s warriors.”

“Quiverfull adherents have as many children as God will allow, describe their offspring as ‘arrows’ in a divine army, and follow rigid gender roles in the home, where men are the spiritual leaders and women the submissive helpmeets,” MoJo explains.

It’s more than a little unsettling to hear a mainstream political figure referencing what’s widely considered a radical anti-feminist anti-family planning world view. It’s sweet that he commends his wife, Ann, for committing to being a full-time mom and housewife, but his culty language makes it all a little creepy.

So yeah, procreate like crazy, but don’t worry about prosperity, adds the mega-rich father of five.

“I don’t think God cares whether you get rich,” he cautions. “I don’t think he hopes that your business will make a huge profit. I know a lot of religious people who think God will intervene to make their investments grow. Or he’ll get them a promotion. To make their business a success. But life on this earth is about learning to live in a place where God does not make everything work out for good people.”

Well, that sucks. Good luck affording those children.

h/t Mother Jones

Find Jennifer Wadsworth on Twitter at @jennwadsworth.

jennlouisew@gmail.com (Jennifer Wadsworth)

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