Forget all that E.U. ‘we are all brothers’ nonsense, Europeans are fiercely patriotic and right now a battle royal of nationalism is brewing…in Malmö, Sweden.
But this ain’t the Euro Cup, we’re talking about the 2013 Eurovision Song Contest and it’s your chance to see some seriously entertaining musical acts duke it out for the crown. Basically, if the Super Bowl and Balki from ‘Perfect Strangers’ had a baby, it would look like Eurovision, only with less hair gel.
Personally as a Hellenic American, I’m pulling for Koza Mostra, the Greek folk/punk/Balkan/ska-ish band featuring super gangsta baglamadaki player Agathon Iakovidis to kick all the other malakas to the curb.
The competition is tough, however. The Greek’s aren’t as dreamy as Azerbaijan’s Farid Mammadov, as sequined as the Latvian boy band PeR, as hot or as blonde as Norway’s Margaret Berger — and Gor Sujyan, the lead singer of Armenia’s Dorians has them beat in the unibrow department.
Now in its 58th year, Eurovision is billed as the largest non-sporting event in the world and, like football (ahem, soccer), since the United States doesn’t legitimately compete, we’ve never actually watched it. We probably should since it’s guaranteed to be vastly more entertaining than watching a bunch of dudes chase a ball around for 90 minutes and then end in a tie.
Oh yeah, and a bunch of it’s in English, so you won’t have to makeup your own lyrics.
WHEN: Saturday, May 18th at 21:00 Central European Summer Time…um…that would be 3 p.m. EST.
HOW TO WATCH: Stream it here
