Last week, I issued the following press release:
New Political Party in Connecticut
Queue, Inc., a Connecticut corporation with offices in Stratford, CT, announces the formation of the Citizens United Party, a new political party. Membership in Citizens United Party will be limited to corporations and LLC’s. Citizens United intends to field a full slate of candidates in the 2012 election in Connecticut. Corporations seeking to run for public office should contact Queue, inc. at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Jonathan Kantrowitz, spokesman for the new party, declared “If, as the Supreme Court has recently declared, corporations have the right to contribute unlimited amounts of money to political candidates, it follows logically that they also have the right to vote, to form political parties, and to run for political office. The era of second-class citizenship for corporations must come to an end. After all, we pay taxes just like everyone else. The formation of the Citizens United Party springs from a basic principle of American democracy: no taxation without representation.”
A reporter for one of our esteemed CT business publications didn’t quite get the joke:
Got more details? Please ring me.
He wasn’t pleased:
Wow, Jonathan, your sense of humor on this is appalling. We were treating this as news. We’re way too busy for such stupid tricks. Urge you to rethink yourself next time. Please don’t bother to follow up – we’re not interested.
The Secretary Of The State’s office also called, after an inquiry from AP, to see if I was serious, but had the good sense to realize that I probably wasn’t.
Now that the Connecticut for Lieberman Party is defunct, former vice-chair and progressive activist Jonathan Kantrowitz has launched his next political party called the Citizens United Party. The party is named in honor of the Citizens United Supreme Court case and will only be open to corporations and LLCs. Kantrowitz issued a release saying the party will have a full slate of candidates for the 2012 elections, but will they make it onto the ballot? Bring on the 2012 election brouhaha.
Here’s the next press release :
Citizens United Party Demands Reapportionment Consideration
Citizens United Party, the new Connecticut political party formed of, by and for corporations, has issued a demand that the state legislature include corporations in its population counts when re-apportioning legislative seats.
“If, as the Supreme Court has recently declared, corporations have the right to contribute unlimited amounts of money to political candidates, it follows logically that they also have the right to be counted in allocating legislative seats. The era of second-class citizenship for corporations must come to an end. After all, we pay taxes just like everyone else. This demand of the Citizens United Party springs from a basic principle of American democracy: one “person”, one vote.