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Messages from God?

Michelle Bachmann says it’s “cut spending”:

“I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’

Glenn Beck says it’s “store food”:

How many warnings do you think you’re going to get, and how many warnings do you deserve? This hurricane that is coming thorough the East Coast, for anyone who’s in the East Coast and has been listening to me say ‘Food storage!’ ‘Be prepared!’ […] If you’ve waited, this hurricane is a blessing. It is a blessing. It is God reminding you — as was the earthquake last week — it’s God reminding you you’re not in control.

Why can’t these conservative nut-cases get their messages straight?

Pat Robertson also knows a thing or two about messages from God:

“It seems to me the Washington Monument is a symbol of America’s power. It has been the symbol of our great nation. We look at the symbol and we say ‘this is one nation under God.’ Now there’s a crack in it … Is that a sign from the Lord? … You judge. It seems to me symbolic,” Robertson said.

He cited Matthew’s Gospel, which mentions an “upheaval in the earth” as a sign of the End of Days. The earthquake is just a “birth pang” of the world to come, Robertson explained.

It’s not the first time Robertson has gone all religious over a natural disaster. He said the earthquake that rocked Haiti and killed 200,000 people in 2010 was a result of a “pact to the devil,” and he suggested Hurricane Katrina was sparked by legal abortion.

There’s more:

In the wake of 9/11, Robertson had a now (in-)famous exchange with the late Jerry Falwell in which the two religious leaders suggested that the United States “deserved” the attacks for its tolerance of secularism, gays, abortion, feminists and pagans.