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Why It Stinks to be a Pisces Right Now

Have you ever had that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach that something was about to go terribly wrong?  It reminds me of the feeling I’ve gotten after being strapped into the seat of one of those insane roller coasters.  The feeling of dread begins as it ascends to the top – click, click, click – and with each “click” you realize you are in no way prepared for what is about to occur.  You eventually reach the top and then are summarily dropped, plummeting to the bottom – you’re spun, turned and flipped upside-down … finally returned to the station, completed wrung out and shaking … but still alive.  Barely.

That’s what I’m talking about.

That feeling has been dogging me for some time now.   Apparently with due cause this month – the planetary lineup in September is abysmal for us Pisceans.   My dearest friend Kim alerted me (in typically understated Scorpio manner) by asking if I had ever checked out astrologer Susan Miller’s predictions on her site – and if not, perhaps I might want to.

So I did.  Oy vey!

Before I open this particularly nasty can of worms, allow me to make note of the fact that the three astrological signs most easily “recognized” by the general public are Leo, Scorpio, and Pisces.  Leos are, in my opinion, a breeze … just look for the guy or gal in charge.  Usually a first born, often a Leo (or vice versa).  Very nearly always a CEO or President, but even if he is a janitor, you can bet Mr. Leo is Head Janitor.  Not just a carpenter – but a Master Carpenter.   You get my drift.  They may be a sucker for a compliment, but please don’t take advantage of the Leos in your life.  They have hearts of gold, and only ask for a little attention in return.  Oh, and can you answer that phone for me?  And hand me the remote?  And maybe fix me a sandwich while you are up – if it’s not too much trouble, of course.  

Did I say a little attention?  I meant the sort of slavish attention that would embarrass anyone else – but not a Leo.  But then why, when they are King or Queen of the jungle, should admiration or attention prove embarrassing?  How silly of you.  Good thing you’re not in charge, huh? 

Most Scorpios keep their sun sign under wraps, but this is no surprise as they like to move amongst the rest of us mortals incognito.   Plus they get pretty sick and tired of all the fuss made about their presumed sexuality – whose business is it of yours, anyway?  Just because this sign rules the genitals is no reason for anyone to get their panties all in a bunch.  But you might want to rethink any off-colored joke or offensive remark made in their general direction.  The Scorpio proclivity toward revenge is legendary … and deserved.  But then, you DID have it coming – and you were in fact warned.  Or did you mistake that half smile and those flashing eyes for a friendly overture?  

In that case, perhaps you are stupid.  At any rate, you won’t remain in a Scorpio’s company for long.  They’ll suffer anything – except a fool.  Or a liar.  Or a cheat.  But then, you’d have to be a fool to try and cheat or lie to a Scorpio, huh?  Buh-bye.

On to Pisces, the last of the twelve zodiac signs.  If, as some believe, an individual incarnates through each of the twelve signs in his/her many lifetimes – then by the time you reach Pisces you have seen and done it all.   And the rest of the populace seems to instinctively know this … and comes running with their problems, worries, vices and addictions – to dump them square in the lap of the hapless (but not helpless) Pisces.   Pisceans combine a generous nature with a warm heart and goofy sense of humor – a mix guaranteed to take the edge off the misery of most.  By all accounts, Jesus was a Pisces – his life’s story fits the bill, plus March DOES mark the lambing season. You do realize that’s why all those shepherds were around, right?    

But I bet HE is glad he died some 2,000 years ago.  Because September 2009 promises to be a lousy time for us fish folk – luckily, one whose planetary lineup won’t repeat until 2036.

Astrologer Susan Miller notes (in summary):

By midmonth, Pisces will get into the most challenging time of the month, extending from September 15 to 23.   On September 15 Saturn in Virgo will oppose Uranus in Pisces at 24 degrees. Pisces who were born on March 15 plus or minus four days will feel this day the most. Saturn is the planet that represents tradition, and Uranus is the planet of innovation and sudden change. Old and new will clash in a powerful way, and it will be up to you to decide what needs to stay and what needs to go.  The wind gusts of the coming cosmic storms will pick up speed on one of the most dramatic and difficult days of the month – possibly of the year – on September 17. Uranus in Pisces will oppose the Sun, and Saturn will conjunct the Sun. These are nerve wrecking, draining aspects and you must do all you can to protect your health. Life events may wear you down, and should you feel overwhelmed, call a friend or a therapist, and do all you can to get more rest.  I don’t remember ever seeing such powerful aspects happening on the very same day. These testing aspects will create a strong desire to separate from a personal or business partner or from a situation, if you feel it has been difficult for a long time and you have lost all hope it will improve. You won’t have any more patience with people who don’t appreciate you, don’t support you, or don’t understand you.

One day after this very troublesome day comes September 18, but rather than provide a soothing sense of calm, Uranus and Saturn will come gunning for the new moon. Your seventh house of partners will be full with planets – Mercury, Saturn, the new moon, and the Sun – and on the other side of the sky Uranus will be staring at each planet. Some sort of situation seems to be reaching a breaking point.  The level of dramatic cosmic energy this month in Virgo and Pisces will be highly unusual, and anything that is not firmly fastened will come flying off the walls of your life. Because Uranus is involved, you may be surprised at what weak link is revealed.

It must be obvious to you by now that you won’t know what part of your life to attend to first. If you can keep your schedule fairly open and elastic, it will be easier for you to attend to all you need to do! On top of all this planetary action, on September 18 or 19, depending on your time zone, transiting Mars will oppose the exact degrees of the July 7 eclipse. This indicates that a friend may suddenly jump to your aid and help you in a very significant way – or become a problem. Again, the situation will present itself in the extreme, for Pluto will be in hard angle to Mercury.

The barrage of angry planetary energy will continue on to only one more day, September 23, when Mercury will oppose Uranus. This too is a very difficult aspect that usually makes one feel as though one’s nerves have been zapped by a sudden, quick little bolt of electricity.  Keep an eye on your home situation and your parents near September 23. Mercury rules your domestic condition, so you may hear unexpected news concerning your residence, other property, or your parents near September 23.  Alternatively, you may find that an unhappy, pressure-filled relationship becomes just too much and suddenly decide to part. With Mercury in retrograde, make sure you are not making a decision based on faulty information or a simple miscommunication. As unlikely as this seems, there is that possibility, so be careful, and resist being impulsive. This month, your only danger is being a bit too hasty.

By time you get to September 24, all the cosmic storms will have passed. I promise nothing like this will come again, not ever. The outcome will be quite positive for you, and you must trust in this. By the time this month is over, you will know what is valuable and what is not. All the weak links in your life will be exposed and either swept away or rooted out by you.


… And there you are, my fellow Pisceans.  You’ve been returned to the station, completed wrung out and shaking … but still alive.  But just in case, I plan on spending my time between now and September 17 looking for a nice safe cave to hide in!

The rest of you – do check out your horoscope at Susan Miller’s site.  I’ve done a quick review and unless you are a Pisces, you’re safe!  But hey, she DID say the outcome would be positive, didn’t she?  Well then, in the words of another dear friend, Jamie (a Capricorn) I say to the Cosmos – “Bring it!”

Onward and Upward!  Laura

Laura Lenhard