Metaphysical Musings

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There are times when individuals come to us through unexpected events, which in turn end up haunting us.  Back in June of this year, I wrote about Sharon and her son and how we met.  Sharon came to me after finding Talisman’s shrine to Kali Ma (Patroness of abused women and children) and she told me an incredible story that would make any sane parent sick to hear.  At Talisman, she found warmth, solace and a welcoming community who has stood by her, prayed for her and held her hand when she cried. 

Sharon married Magnus Norinder, a Swede, in 2006.  He is tall, handsome, and charming.  Sharon, an American, gave birth to their American-born son in February 2008 and everything went downhill after that.  Sharon’s “Prince Charming” assaulted her for the first time only one month after the birth of their son – and threw both of them into the streets of Houston, Texas with no place to go.  That night he was so impaired that he broke the toilet and flooded their apartment.  She returned the next morning to a flooded apartment, a husband that was still impaired and the pattern of violence began.

Like many abusive men who abuse their women, addicted or not, promises were made but never kept. Sharon moved to Sweden on a promise that went out the window as quickly as her transatlantic flight.  Magnus became psychologically abusive and then physically abusive within months of her move and it did not register that his son was in the room or in his mother’s arms – the shouting and the assaults continued regardless.  

In Sweden, Sharon went to the police.  Sharon went to child protective services.  Sharon went to the district attorney.  With the exception of her direct supervisor, everywhere Sharon went, there was no help.  She was a stranger in a strange land – viewed as an immigrant.  In fact there was nothing but hindrances along the way.  She was told by a person in a position to bring forth charges that she should have gone to a hotel (as if she never tried that) and asked why she tried to take her husband’s beer – rather than finding fault with Magnus who was recorded assaulting her while she was holding their son.  But the police never gave her the recordings and they reprinted photos to omit the arrows explaining where the bruises came from.  Sharon was told she had to provide the names of two Swedes who could state that her husband had a drinking problem.  It did not matter that only months before he was drunk 3 hours after he assaulted her and the police held him to sober up. And then there were the recordings … so many recordings.  

In the recordings that the police have in their possession is an episode on January 1, 2009 where Magnus can be heard saying “you are going to take that beer out yeah you can freeze…it is my house, it is my rules….test me, test me, test me…..” then he kicks her into the furniture on the patio.  She was wearing a coat and no shoes.  She called the police but then he tells her…” How do you want it? Rough or smooth, rough or smooth. Do you want it rough or smooth? Well okay. Do you want the police to come here? And you think that your ass will be here or will be somewhere comfortable.  You think (son’s name) will feel great about this?”  Can you imagine what was going through Sharon’s mind as she heard this?

Then when she tried to leave January 22, 2009, Magnus discovered this and for her efforts, she was thrown on the furniture, onto the floor, out the door and left there with her wearing only panties in freezing weather.  And Sharon went to the police.  The case was dismissed.

Sharon did everything to secure a safe home for her and her son only to be told by a social worker that there was nothing that could be done to get her and her son out into a safe home when Magnus (a doctor) was drinking in excess and combining it with medication he wrote for himself.  He threatened to have her deported from Sweden and that he would get custody of their child and that his family would witness against her that she was mentally unstable and an unfit mother. 

In the recordings, Magnus admits to drinking in excess and taking controlled substances that he prescribed himself.  He states this in front of his parents who blame his behavior on his wife.  Then they compare her to the “mentally unstable” mother of his daughter and how Sharon is worse than she.

Sharon endured a lot while living in Sweden.  She had to move back to her home with Magnus after she left her job working for the hospital in Boras.  Magnus attacked her two nights before she came to the U.S. on vacation.  When she left Sweden she was to return.  Sharon reports that Magnus was calling her almost every day threatening her and telling her that he would leave her when she returned to Sweden.  Given the track record, the reverting to violence combined with again taking controlled substances that he was prescribing himself, Sharon did what any normal parent would do.  She stayed in the U.S. with her son.

When she found out that he filed a Hague Abduction case, she made her whereabouts known.  Then the judge ordered them to trial with no discovery to get evidence, not many recordings, no psychiatric sick leave records (they span from 1996 until 2009) that showed he was on sick leave several times over the years for months at a time for psychiatric illnesses, no police reports documenting that he was drunk the night he assaulted her, no cell phones that had text messages that he hit his daughter and paid for young girls to sleep with him, no prescription record to show how often he was prescribing himself narcotics….nothing.  And Sharon sat in the courtroom after having her only child taken from her – she had to watch her 29-month-old son leave the courtroom crying in the arms of a man who beat her and left her outside in the cold with no clothes on.

Magnus, his daughter and the psychiatrist all lied in the U.S. court.  They lied so much that Sharon (who has about 600 pages of documentation about the lies) tried to get them charged with perjury.  But to no avail.  Magnus, who told the U.S. court that he was the chief of the hospital (and then later a surgeon) was ordered to release his prescription records. His lawyer told to the U.S. court that the prescription release was in the waiver that was drafted the day before.  They held that waiver for three weeks and provided it after it had expired.  There was no release for the prescription drugs and the police reports were not produced even though his lawyer told the U.S. Appellate court that they were provided.  The only document his lawyer provided was the letter that the district attorney in Sweden was closing the cases. 

According to Sharon, the psychiatrist, Dr. Svante Vikander, said things that contradicted the medical record and even testified if what Sharon said was true, it would be a grave risk of psychological or physical harm to return their son to his father.  The psychiatrist, who was paid $6,000 misrepresented to the court a great deal of what was in the medical record.  The medical record was copied into a word document and provided to Sharon days before the trial resumed and the only people who could read it were the Swedes and Sharon. The record contained duplication of entries for several visits and the size of the font was different on one page.  The real killer was the fact that documents submitted by the same psychiatrist showed that a entry was deleted on the same date he wrote the medical board that Magnus did not have a drug and alcohol problem as well as the dates that appear on the medical records (when they are printed, by whom and to whom) was missing from the 59 pages. The same clinic provided a printed copy that was stamped with the identifying information to the medical board claiming that Magnus did not have a problem.  What did he delete from the record on October 12, 2009 that Dr.Vikander was hiding from the medical board?

Magnus returned to Sweden with their son and did everything possible to limit contact with Sharon.  Her son did not want to return to Sweden - now, on the phone he asks his mother why she is trying to take him from his father.  When she asked Magnus why he would tell his son that, Magnus replied that…”What do you expect him to say”?  So Magnus and his family block Sharon and are talking badly about her to their son who is not even 4 years old.  But for an abusive man, this is no surprise.  When is anyone going to see the damage caused to this child and the damage that Sharon said would happen if they returned her son to his father?  It is no wonder that she did what was necessary to protect her son.

Now comes a time for accountability.  Karma has a way of coming back and correcting even the worst of all wrongs.  It is time to see if a person who abuses his wife, puts his child at risk and then lies about it will be held accountable.

So where do I come in to this picture?  Sharon came to me seeking a friend, and in turn gained an entire support system.  We welcomed her and counseled her on her situation.  As Wiccans we understand the bonding between a mother and her child and we understand the horror of this situation and we all felt for her and knew her pain. Sharon is not a practicing Wiccan but she knows a community support when it is offered to her.  If she had such a support in Sweden, things might have been much different.  But Sharon and her son were denied basic rights to a secure and safe home and now she continues to fight for her child against all odds and prejudices.  She found support in us and now she has obtained the long-awaited support of the Swedish justice system.  Mr. Patrik Tilly has issued an indictment against Magnus and now there may be closure in sight.  In the least, Sharon will be heard where she has been silenced for too long.  This is no victory and it is not a celebration.  It is about accountability that perhaps Magnus will be convicted for what he did.  Sharon serves a life sentence for the trial in the United States where the judge said that the domestic violence was nothing but minor family quarrels.  But Judge William Daniel Stiehl did not think twice about the damage caused by taking a 29-month-old child from a mother whose only fault was turning to our justice system for protection-protection that, before this date, December 6, 2011, was never there for Sharon and her son. As a community, Talisman will always be there for Sharon and her son.  May the outcome be in the highest and greatest good for all.  Blessed Be!