I’m thinking of moving to Vegas. First, my very best friend and soul mate has an un-natural attachment to Garth Brooks. Second of all, I think I can really get into star gazing in the desert. Third, I am a master at black jack. Fourth, 100 degree heat and a sweater and my father is finally warm enough for his golf game. Last but not least, what happens there stays there, in other words live and let live…how novel! But I’ll get back to that.
Hi there. How are you? I know it’s been a while but I’ve been busy. It’s true. The older Charlotte gets, the more she has going on. It’s not like I haven’t thought about writing, because I have. Plenty of good stuff going on Downtown so there’s material if I want it. A lot of people have asked me to get back to it so that’s inspiring. I’ve really just been too busy. Then I ran into Tom Baden at the Mayor’s address to the business community. He’s one of the big chiefs over at the Post and he said I should really start writing again. He said that if I don’t have a lot of time, then I just shouldn’t write so much. Make my posts shorter. Hmmmmm, never thought of that.
GYMANSTICS IS COMING TO TOWN! That’s right, MJF and her crew over at UB are hosting this year’s National Championship starting this Tuesday. It just happens to be that the women’s team over at UB has taken the title three years in a row and hoping for a fourth! In addition to hosting the week long competition at the school, the finals will be held over at the Webster Bank Arena on Friday. Super fun date night, dinner, wine, and a little acrobatics…love it! Make sure you get your tickets and come out and support our girls!
Meanwhile, wanna play at this year’s Downtown Thursdays Concert Series? The call to artists is out and the deadline to apply is Friday, April 13th. We will be rocking and rolling this year from Memorial Day until Labor Day right in the heart of Downtown at McLevy Green. We’ve expanded to thirteen weeks of fun and frolic and free Shakespeare. If you have a band or you know someone who you think would be great to light up the center stage, please spread the word! The application forms are available at www.DowntownThursdays.com and we look forward to hearing from you!
Also on the agenda is the third annual What’s Cooking in Bridgeport! This fabulous “restaurant week” is the brainchild and blood sweat and tears of the amazing Erin McDonough who works over at the COB. Erin started this gig as a way to showcase the incredibly diverse and delicious eateries we have here in the Park City. Last year she had close to 50 participating restaurants who offered special discounts and events for the week and we expect this year to be bigger and better! The dates are May 14-20 and if you would like your place to be part of this not to miss event, please reach out to Erin at email@example.com.
Back to Vegas…well live and let live anyway. You know how they say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade? Well what if you do if you forgot what the lemonade recipe is? That’s what happening to me and it is so annoying. Trust me when I tell you, if they were your lemons, we’d be eating lemon meringue pie right now on a yacht in the French Riviera. But they’re mine. Sour. So anyway, in my quest to find that recipe again, I have been reading every word of every article in the mindful living section of The Huffington Post and tonight I came across the one below. It’s written by Dr. Judith Rich and I feel like she wrote it with me in mind. It’s called “Breakdown to Breakthrough: What to Do When Life Calls A ‘Time Out’” and you know what, it’s not just a good question but she also offers some answers. I subscribed to her after I read it. Simple and smart. I like that.
“….We are “thrown” in the direction of seeking comfort and safety and unless something comes along to interrupt those patterns, we will find ourselves falling back asleep, and pretty quickly. Comfort and safety are just so seductive it’s hard to remain vigilant enough to keep from becoming attached. We want life to occur in a particular way. We want what we want in the dose and form and with the timing that we want it.
And so, in this human story we’re all unfolding, sooner or later, we’ll find ourselves confronted with a “rude awakening.” Something happens, seemingly from out of “left field.” Life occurs. It might feel like the bottom dropped out, the rug got pulled, the green lights all turned red, the cosmic two-by-four just came and whapped you upside the head and sat you down by the side of the road, calling for a “time out.”
These cosmic “time outs” can take many forms, but they’re all designed to stop us in our tracks and get our attention. It’s the soul’s wake up call. Losing a job or a loved one, an unwanted pregnancy, family quarrels, substance and other forms of abuse, a terminal illness, a close brush with death are just a few of the kinds of events that can serve to bring us to our knees.
Just when you thought your life was going along fine — BAM! Life comes along and says, “Not so fast, my pretty! Listen up! You have some homework to do.” You’re in a breakdown.
Is it the end of the world? Not really, but it might feel like it is. Even when accepting 100 percent responsibility for creating your life, when a breakdown occurs there usually is an emotional impact that cannot be ignored. When you’re thrown topsy-turvy and haven’t yet found your sea legs, life can feel mighty scary and fear can get the best of you. In the moment, it can be very challenging and seem downright impossible to get your bearings and put your hands back on the wheel.
What to do?
Eight tips for dealing with breakdown:
1) Declare a breakdown — Simply say, “I’m in a breakdown.” Naming it thus gives the mind something to rally around besides upset and chaos. It’s like coming to a stop sign and putting on the brakes.
2) Acknowledge and feel the emotional impact — Breakdown is life’s way of letting you know you’ve gotten off track. This can come as a shock to the system and the first response is usually some form of emotional upset. Feel it. Express it. But don’t stop there. Ask yourself…
3) What core values have I betrayed, abandoned or forgotten? — In the bigger scheme of things, breakdowns occur when we stray from being true to our core values in some essential way. You have fallen asleep, and breakdown is life’s way of waking you up to that fact.
4) Assume 100 percent responsibility for your results — Don’t waste your time being right or blaming others. Ultimately, what’s happened is your result, based on the choices you’ve made and the actions you’ve taken. Even if you think you had only the best intentions, based on results, something more or different was needed than what you brought to the situation. Acknowledge this, but don’t stop there.
5) Do a “clean up” — Clean up with yourself and anyone else involved. Be willing to apologize and ask for forgiveness for the unintended impact you had on someone else, if that’s the case. Forgive yourself for getting off track. Part of being human is dealing with our imperfections. It happens to everyone. It doesn’t mean you’re a “bad” person. It just means you’re human. But don’t stop there.
6) Redeclare your commitment — What really matters? Go back to the core values you betrayed and re-affirm your commitment to them or redesign them if necessary.
7) Begin again — Breaking down is the precursor to breaking through. In the wake of an upset, there is the opportunity to regroup, press the reset button, and start anew, only from a newly awakened perspective. This usually leads to a whole new way of being and doing in the world, including in your important relationships.
8) Celebrate your breakthrough — Acknowledge yourself for the courage and willingness to face the breakdown and moving through it. This isn’t about stroking your ego. This is about having done some hard homework and bringing back wisdom from the experience.
The next time a breakdown occurs, remember it is your soul’s wake up call. Being in resistance to what is, only prolongs the suffering. You don’t need to spend months or years getting back on track. Consider that this too, is part of your soul’s curriculum, or as Ram Das said, “It’s all grist for the mill.” Everything life offers can be used to serve if you’re a willing student. “
ps… to the “staff writer” at the post who meticulously misrepresented my business, screw you. I may write with rose colored glasses on but you write with irresponsible blinders on…and not very well I might add.
pps…thank you Paul Timpanelli for being thoughtful right out of the gate. I love a real man.
Who wants to be riding high
When you’ll just crumble back on down
You give up everything you are
And even then you don’t get far
They make believe that everything
Is exactly what it seems
But at least when you’re at your worst
You know how to feel things