Archive for October, 2012

Look: Marissa Mayer tweets first baby pic

Wednesday, October 31, 2012 by:moms@sfgate.com (Amy Graff)
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Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer gave the world the first look at her new baby this afternoon. In typical Silicon Valley Style, Mayer posted a photo on Twitter.

The darling image shows Mayer and 1-month-old Macallister on their way to Yahoo’s Halloween party, cleverly titled YaBoo. The sleeping boy appears to be dressed up as a chili pepper and smiling mom is wearing a chili pepper-covered top. It looks as if the the 37-year-old mom is happy and has easily stepped into her new role.

I can already hear the choir of critical moms saying that Mayer shouldn’t be taking a new baby to a germ-infested office. But I say, be quiet! Let’s stop judging her! I love that she’s out and about with her baby and already taking him to the office.

When Mayer first announced her new position at Yahoo in July and revealed that she was also 7 months pregnant the very same day, she quickly became the face of working moms. Of the Fortune 500 companies, 20 have female CEOs. Mayer is the youngest woman ever in the Fortune 500.

But Mayer maddened many of her fans when she took a two-week maternity leave. She was supposed to become the working mom’s role model, blazing trails for other women climbing the corporate ladder. With the abbreviated maternity leave, people questioned whether she was helping or hurting women. She’s setting the bar way too high, they cried! Now every working mom will be expected to take a two-week leave. But as I said earlier, let’s stop judging her every move. By tweeting out a photo of herself at work with her baby, she’s obviously promoting family-friendly working environments and that’s a good thing for everyone.

Sesame Street explains Hurricane Sandy to young kids

Wednesday, October 31, 2012 by:moms@sfgate.com (Amy Graff)
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A hurricane news report from Sesame Street

The images of entire communities ravaged by Hurricane Sandy are devastating. The powerful winds, rain and flooding pulled faces off buildings, knocked over trees, overturned cars, ripped houses off their foundation and split roads in two. This is all frightening and unsettling to children. How do you talk to kids about Hurricane Sandy without scaring them?

Enter Sesame Street. The children’s television network has created a series of informative videos to help children understand Sandy. In the first video, Big Bird, Elmo, Kermit and their friends explain the simple science behind a hurricane and go over the importance of being prepared for a big storm. You also get to see families endure a storm, using flashlights when the lights go out, watching trees in their front yards fall over. In the next four videos, the Sesame Street gang comes together to clean up their community and rebuild Big Bird’s nest.

Below is Part I of the 5-part series. Find all five videos on the Sesame Street website.

Kid attendance might be down at the Giants victory parade

Tuesday, October 30, 2012 by:moms@sfgate.com (Amy Graff)
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Giants fans screamed for their heroes during the 2010 World Series victory parade down Market Street. The 2012 version of the parade has been set for the venerable boulevard at 11 a.m. Wednesday. (Mike Kepka, The Chronicle / SF)

Many families broke rules the past few weeks—staying up late to watch the Giants games (even on school nights), skipping soccer practice, eating in the living room and filling up on way too many potato chips. On Sunday night when the Giants swept the World Series, my kids were up until 10 p.m. watching fireworks burst above the San Francisco skyline.

Now families are deciding whether to break another rule and let their kids skip school to watch the victory parade.

Shortly after Sergio Romo threw an 89-mile-per-hour fastball down the middle of home plate and struck out Miguel Cabrera, Giants executives announced that the parade will roll down San Francisco’s Market Street on Halloween.

“The city that revels in Bay to Breakers, Halloween in the Castro, and any chance to dress up (or down) and party, will throw an orange-and-black celebration to rival all others,” SFGate reported.

Halloween?!? Really?

Parents were quick to question the date, which was obviously (and probably smartly) chosen to cut costs. With both Halloween and the parade on the same day, the city only has to clean up one big mess.

Most schools host Halloween festivities on October 31 and many kids, especially those in elementary school, would rather bob for apples and parade around in their costumes with their friends at school than attend the Giants victory celebration. This means Mom and Dad need to be at school to help with the festivities and take pictures—so going to the victory parade is out of the question for them too.

Over on the Bay Area Moms Facebook page, many parents expressed disappointment over the parade date. “Last night, I was prepared to let them miss school,” East Bay mom Karen Selke wrote. “But now my 7-year-old doesn’t want to miss all the Halloween festivities at school,  so we won’t be going. Wish they picked another day…”

“So frustrated!” Oakland mom Elisa Stillman chimed in. “Couldn’t have picked a worse day for families with young children (i.e., a fair share of your season ticket holders and faithfuls, Front Office). Let’s do it different NEXT YEAR! Weekend parade, please.”

“I was talking to one of the teachers at school and it made her just mad that the Mayor picked the same day as all the school Halloween festivities for the parade,” San Francisco mom Margaret Lanphier added. “It’s great that the city is celebrating but why couldn’t it be on a different day? Just another example of the city being unfriendly to families — they should be doing stuff that brings families into the city not exclude them or even drive them away.”

They’re “shafting parents,” Jennifer Pettit wrote. “I missed the 2010 parade and would love to see this one. But I’m not gonna skip my kids’ Halloween parades.”

We also heard from one San Francisco mom who is concerned that the combination of Halloween and the Giants parade might equal trouble and unsafe conditions. “I am discouraged by the crowds last night who set bonfires, tipped over cars, and threw bottles at police,” Peggy Christian shared. “What made the 2010 experience so great was the sweetness and pure excitement of everyone there.  It really felt like a small town parade even though it was attended by hundreds of thousands of people.  What worries me about this years’ parade is that, on Halloween, it might have a more dangerous, less innocent element to it.”

Some parents think taking kids out of school is a bad idea whether or not it’s Halloween. “Do parents realize California public schools get paid per day per child? If your child isn’t there, the school and your child lose money for education,” Ann Mulligan shared.

“…I have completely enjoyed watching the amazing plays and the [teamwork] in action,” San Francisco mom Carlin DeCato shared. “It’s been great to discuss with my girls the professionalism and group effort at reaching goals. But I would never have my children miss their classes to celebrate it further. Just the same as I wouldn’t have them miss school for a movie opening (such as Harry Potter), Broadway show, or the like.”

A few local private schools are assuming their students want to cheer on their heroes at the victory parade, and they’re designating tomorrow a school holiday. One parent told SFGate that San Francisco’s St. Ignacious Preparatory High School “sent a blast voice mail to all parents that Wednesday will be a school holiday.”

San Francisco public schools will be in session tomorrow and the district is forbidding teachers from taking their students on parade field trips. A statement released from San Francisco Unified School District Superintendent Richard Carranza reads:

Every day and every minute of instruction counts so we encourage families to make sure their child is in school and ready to learn.

Our students cannot afford to lose any more instructional time. State budget cuts have already forced our district to shorten the school year over the past three years and, depending on the outcome of the November 6 elections, we may be forced to cut as many as five more days this school year and 10 days next year.

While this year’s Halloween date introduces all sorts of complications, many kids are still planning to cheer on their favorite players (though probably fewer than in 2010). When asked if she was bringing her kids to the victory parade, San Francisco mom Robyn Calara gave a simple, definitive answer, “Absolutely!”

Are your kids skipping school to attend the Giants victory parade? Why or why not?

Last-minute homemade Halloween costumes for kids

Monday, October 29, 2012 by:moms@sfgate.com (Amy Graff)
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A unibrow is the key to a good Frida Kahlo costume. (Oh Happy Day! / Aubrey Trinnaman)

Still don’t know what your child will be wearing on Halloween? Don’t go to a big-box store where you’re likely to find a messy, picked-over pile of cheaply made costumes, many of them inappropriate for young children. (French maid dresses for 8-year-olds, hello?!?) I know. I once went looking for a Batman costume for a 4-year-old the day before Halloween and returned home empty handed.

Instead, take a look at these classy and creative homemade costume ideas from San Francisco event planner and design blogger Jordan Ferney. For the past several weeks, Ferney has posted gorgeous photo montages with detailed instructions on her wildly popular blog Oh Happy Day! Most of the costumes you can put together with stuff pulled from closets at home and you might only need to run an errand or two. My own 9-year-old daughter is making the Eiffel Tower costume and we had everything except the beret, which we borrowed from a neighbor. All of these costumes also work well for adults.

For instructions on how to make the costumes visit Oh Happy Day!

To see Ferney’s complete collection of homemade costumes visit her blog Oh Happy Day!

Please, let’s not judge Marina Krim

Friday, October 26, 2012 by:moms@sfgate.com (Amy Graff)
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Kathy Willens / AP

Yesterday a mother returned home to her Manhattan apartment in the Upper West Side to find two of her young children dead in a bathtub, covered in blood from stabbing wounds to their necks. The family nanny was slitting her own wrists and slashing her neck with the same knife she’d used to kill the children.

“Something happened to my kids!” screamed the mom. Her piercing shrieks were heard on the streets outside the eight-story building.

The mother, Marina Krim, was getting back from taking her 3-year-old child to a swimming class. She’d left her two other children, 2-year-old Leo and 6-year-old Lucia, at home with the 50-year-old nanny, Yoselyn Ortega.

At this point, there’s little known about why Ortega, who is now in a coma, would commit a heinous crime like this. Ortega is a naturalized U.S. citizen, originally from the Dominican Republic, and has lived in America for a decade. The Krim family seemed to have an amicable relationship with Ortega, who was referred by a friend. They recently visited the nanny’s relatives in the Dominican Republic.

The story is absolutely devastating and as I read the news reports my breath was taken away by deep sadness for this mother and her children. There are no words that could possibly capture the horror of this tragedy or the devastation to this family. There are no tears big enough that could capture the sadness. My heart goes out to this family.

This story is frightening to moms because the first chapter is a scenario that we can all relate to. Having one kid (or two) at after-school or with a friend, a family member, or a nanny while you’re taking your other child to the doctor or a class is familiar. I was in this exact situation yesterday when I brought my son to the dentist and left my daughter with a babysitter who helps with homework. You assume your child is safe, and your trust is founded because you’ve done your homework on this person. You have a relationship with this person, and this person genuinely cares about your child.

This story especially hits home with me because at one time the Krims lived in San Francisco’s Noe Valley, probably on a street that I’ve pushed a stroller down many times. Krim’s husband, Kevin Krim, is a former Yahoo executive and the family moved to New York when he got a job with CNBC. Marina works part-time teaching art classes to children at the local playground. She kept a family blog, which was suspended this morning, and posted photos of her kids around Manhattan.

As we all process this tragedy, I think we need to focus on sympathizing with Krim, sending prayers and our thoughts her way. Moms are often quick to judge one another and comments criticizing Krim’s decision to hire a nanny are already popping up in the online world. We all often want to think that we’re giving our kids the best situation and others aren’t making equally good decisions. “I found the best nanny after interviewing 20!” “I would never use a nanny and would only ever watch my children myself!” “I only allow my mom to watch my children!” But please, let’s not judge. Right now, Krim needs us all on her side.

This parenting style makes kids grow up into right-wingers

Friday, October 26, 2012 by:moms@sfgate.com (Amy Graff)
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What leads a child to grow up and vote for a Republican candidate like Mitt Romney or a Democrat such as Barack Obama? Researchers at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign found that parenting style and childhood temperament plays a key role in determining a child’s future political mindset—as in, the bumper sticker your kid decides to slap on her car when she turns 18 might depend on how you reacted when she sneaked out of the house to meet her boyfriend.

The study found that children of strict parents were more likely to turn conservative while those of lenient parents were more likely to lean left. What’s more, children “with higher levels of fearfulness during young childhood” were more likely to have conservative values at age 18, while kids “with higher levels of attentional focusing and activity or restlessness” tended to be liberal, according to LiveScience.

Researchers collected data from 708 children and mothers, interviewing the mothers and asking about their child-rearing philosophies when the children were 1 month old, following up 4 1/2 years later to study the children’s temperaments, and then finally surveying the kids when they’re 18 years old.

“One of the significant challenges in psychological science is understanding the multiple pathways underlying personality development,” lead researcher R. Chris Fraley Fraley of University of Illinois told LiveScience. “Our research suggests that variation in how people feel about diverse topics, ranging from abortion, military spending, and the death penalty, can be traced to both temperamental differences that are observable as early as 54 months of age, as well as variation in the attitudes people’s parents have about child rearing and discipline.”

The study didn’t look at other factors that might play into the development of a person’s political beliefs, such as culture, friends and environment. And it seems like the parents’ beliefs would likely be the most important factor. I know my own father has jokingly told me that he’d disown me if I didn’t register with his party. Thankfully we think alike.

What do you think of the study results? Are you surprised by them? What factors do you think influenced your own political values?

Photo: ebay

Parents punish daughter by posting this photo on her Facebook wall

Wednesday, October 24, 2012 by:moms@sfgate.com (Amy Graff)
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This Wisconsin couple punished their daughter by posting silly pics on her Facebook wall. (Reddit / IMUGR / Facebook)

After a Wisconsin teen behaved badly, her parents confiscated her phone for a week. Seems like a fair punishment for a girl who supposedly gave her parents grief and talked back, right? But the unnamed parents decided to take the punishment even further. They took a flurry of ridiculous photos of themselves with their daughter’s phone and inundated her Facebook wall with the mortifying images.

The girl’s brother decided that the greater world needed to know about his sister’s situation and shared the story and one of the photos (above) on Reddit.

The brother, who goes by AustinMac on Reddit, wrote:

My parents took away my sisters phone for the week. They’ve uploaded about 10 of these to her facebook. Doing it right!

Reddit users asked what the girl did to deserve this and AustinMac responded, she “got fresh” with my parents.

The Reddit community was overwhelmingly supportive of the parents form of discipline.

“Your parents are AWESOME!!!,” McDonaldstein shared.

“Your dad looks like he’d be a cool dude to hang out with,” Plexicraft chimed in.

“I would like to be your sister’s FB friend for the duration of her punishment… This is actually awesome. Tell your parents that the world needs more like them,” Paulus81 wrote.

This isn’t the first time parents have used the Internet to punish their child. Last spring, When an Akron, Ohio, mother was treated with disrespect by her daughter, she decided to teach the 13-year-old a lesson by swapping out her Facebook profile photo for an image of the teen with an “X” over her mouth and the caption, “I do not know how to keep my [mouth shut].”

Incidents like these bring up the question, is online humiliation an effective form of punishment for children? Teens are sensitive and easily embarrassed and I think parents need to be smart about using the Internet to punish kids. The last thing you want to do is kill a kid’s confidence or create a situation where she’s mocked mercilessly by her friends. Plus, parents and educators are trying to teach teens to not embarrass and bully other kids online and so parents should probably set a good example by not humiliating their kids on Facebook. That said, the Wisconsin parents’ stunt seems fun and harmless and hopefully their daughter and her friends appreciated the humor in it.

Publicly shaming kids, both online and offline, is the latest parenting trend. Take a look at these examples that made national news.

Why I’m talking to my kids about Lance Armstrong

Tuesday, October 23, 2012 by:moms@sfgate.com (Amy Graff)
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Lance Armstrong: The world’s most famous cyclist is now the world’s most famous doper. ((Christophe Ena / AP)

“What’s doping?” a tiny voice asked from the backseat of the car.

The question caught me off guard. I was completely absorbed by an NPR “All Things Considered” segment about USADA releasing over 200 pages of material proving beyond doubt that Lance Armstrong, the world’s most famous cyclist, was a cheater and a liar.

USADA Chief Executive Travis Tygart said the cyclist and his U.S. Postal Service teammates led “the most sophisticated, professionalized and successful doping program that sport has ever seen.”

The detailed testimonies coming from 11 of Armstrong’s former teammates were staggering, even to those who’ve long suspected Armstrong’s guilt. This seemingly invincible powerhouse who’d outwitted drug tests for numerous years was getting caught. For a moment, I forgot about the 8-year-old sucking on a yogurt drink in the back.

As I was taking all of this in, I stopped to think about whether to answer the question from my son. Does an 8-year-old need to know about doping? I quickly decided yes when I realized that there’s a great lesson in Mr. Armstrong’s story of deceit. As parents we try to teach our children the consequences of cheating and lying and we often find ourselves providing lame, unconvincing examples. “If you steal a cookie from the cookie jar and your mom catches you…well…then…”

Here was an  epic story of deception. Here was a guy who’d obtained great fame and fortune, but because he was dishonest, his kingdom came tumbling down.

And so as we inched along San Francisco’s busy Divisadero to pick up his sister at swim team, my son got a crash course in doping, EPO and how increased levels of red blood cells give the blood stream more oxygen-carrying capacity and allows a cyclist to ride longer, faster, harder—and win. We talked about how doping isn’t allowed in cycling and if you get caught you get suspended, lose the race, lose your medals…

In the past couple months Armstrong went from being recognized as the world’s best athlete to the biggest fraud in sporting history. Nike dumped him. Oakley gave him the boot. Yesterday, Pat McQuaid, president of the International Cycling Union (UCI), said: “The UCI will ban Lance  Armstrong from cycling and the UCI will strip him of his seven Tours de France titles. Lance Armstrong has no place in cycling. He deserves to be forgotten.” Harsh!

My family has followed the story like you would a soap opera. My husband (especially) and I are disgruntled cycling fans, who are passionate about the sport but disenchanted by the doping, and for the past couple weeks we’ve tracked the scandal, reading the USADA testimonies, buying tickets to see Levi Leipheimer’s tell-all movie on doping, reading Tyler Hamilton’s tell-all book on doping, the Secret Race.

For many years the sport has successfully kept a tight lid on its shady use of performance enhancing drugs, and now suddenly someone turned on the faucet and all the details, from the blood transfusions that took place in hotel rooms to the shots of EPO given during races, are pouring out.

My kids have become fascinated by the drama unfolding and they’re asking lots of questions. My son especially likes those questions that try to gauge just how bad doping is and just how bad Lance Armstrong is: “Mom, if you had the choice between doping or dying, which would you choose?” and “If you had to vote for Lance Armstrong or Mitt Romney for President, who would you vote for?”

We had fun discussing his questions and getting philosophical. We also talked a lot about how athletes are often encouraged by friends and coaches to take drugs that will make them perform better. Steroids are now common in high school sports and in California kids are required to sign a pledge stating that they won’t take them. Some middle schools are even testing their athletes. The story of Armstrong getting caught proves why kids should refuse the offers for performance enhancing drugs and make sure they come clean in those tests. The cheaters and the liars eventually get caught.

There’s one final part of the great cycling scandal story that my kids and I hope we’ll get to witness: Armstrong telling the truth. He has yet to admit to doping and from the sidelines we’re rooting for him to come clean.

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