Please, let’s not judge Marina Krim

Kathy Willens / AP

Yesterday a mother returned home to her Manhattan apartment in the Upper West Side to find two of her young children dead in a bathtub, covered in blood from stabbing wounds to their necks. The family nanny was slitting her own wrists and slashing her neck with the same knife she’d used to kill the children.

“Something happened to my kids!” screamed the mom. Her piercing shrieks were heard on the streets outside the eight-story building.

The mother, Marina Krim, was getting back from taking her 3-year-old child to a swimming class. She’d left her two other children, 2-year-old Leo and 6-year-old Lucia, at home with the 50-year-old nanny, Yoselyn Ortega.

At this point, there’s little known about why Ortega, who is now in a coma, would commit a heinous crime like this. Ortega is a naturalized U.S. citizen, originally from the Dominican Republic, and has lived in America for a decade. The Krim family seemed to have an amicable relationship with Ortega, who was referred by a friend. They recently visited the nanny’s relatives in the Dominican Republic.

The story is absolutely devastating and as I read the news reports my breath was taken away by deep sadness for this mother and her children. There are no words that could possibly capture the horror of this tragedy or the devastation to this family. There are no tears big enough that could capture the sadness. My heart goes out to this family.

This story is frightening to moms because the first chapter is a scenario that we can all relate to. Having one kid (or two) at after-school or with a friend, a family member, or a nanny while you’re taking your other child to the doctor or a class is familiar. I was in this exact situation yesterday when I brought my son to the dentist and left my daughter with a babysitter who helps with homework. You assume your child is safe, and your trust is founded because you’ve done your homework on this person. You have a relationship with this person, and this person genuinely cares about your child.

This story especially hits home with me because at one time the Krims lived in San Francisco’s Noe Valley, probably on a street that I’ve pushed a stroller down many times. Krim’s husband, Kevin Krim, is a former Yahoo executive and the family moved to New York when he got a job with CNBC. Marina works part-time teaching art classes to children at the local playground. She kept a family blog, which was suspended this morning, and posted photos of her kids around Manhattan.

As we all process this tragedy, I think we need to focus on sympathizing with Krim, sending prayers and our thoughts her way. Moms are often quick to judge one another and comments criticizing Krim’s decision to hire a nanny are already popping up in the online world. We all often want to think that we’re giving our kids the best situation and others aren’t making equally good decisions. “I found the best nanny after interviewing 20!” “I would never use a nanny and would only ever watch my children myself!” “I only allow my mom to watch my children!” But please, let’s not judge. Right now, Krim needs us all on her side.

2 Responses

  1. Cecilia says:

    How dare anyone try to point fingers at this mother for her decision to hire a nanny. This enitre family has lost a child, a sibling, a grandchild, cousin, friend, whatever the case may be. Their poor mother has to live the rest of her life with the vision of her beloved children lying stabbed to death in their tub, she has to live the rest of her life with only the memories of her children instead of watching them grow up and have families of the own! I have been glued to the TV, web since the story broke, hoping to get some understanding of what has happened, hoping for some break in the story. I would give everything I had if it would bring those children back to their family!! I have sobbed as if those children were my own and am just shook to my core over it!! How dare any of us do anything but pray for this family to find the strength to get through this unspeakable tragedy and take solace in the time they had with Lucia and Leo and the happiness that they each brough to each other!! I will continue to pray for you Krim Family and hop that you can take some small bit of comfort in knowing hat the children are in Gods loving arms.

  2. wms_agr says:

    Um, did I miss something? WHO is judging this mom??? I have been following this story closely, am completely heartbroken, but maybe I missed the memo. Before reading THIS article I had seen an outpouring of dismay and obvious recognition of a woman (i.e., the nanny) who was shockingly mentally ill. I am SICKENED by this article and it’s attempt to cast doubt on the choice of any mom/dad/family to hire a nanny. That is not the point here, and this pathetic attempt to drum up attention to this point of view is truly vile.