I stopped by to watch the final innings of the Westhill-Trinity Catholic softball game Saturday morning on my way into the office. As I caught up with friends watching beyond the outfield fence, the discussion turned to the tragic news of the day: Rachel Sottosanti, the Vikings’ three-year starting shortstop and a sophomore at Southern Connecticut State University, had died the night before. She was 19.
I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. I knew Rachel better than some, not as well as some other high school athletes I have covered. I knew she was a hard worker who was outstanding defensively, was always smiling and had the rare ability to put smiles on the faces of everyone she encountered. I was never aware of her many charitable efforts and work with young athletes until talking to her many friends over the weekend.
Obviously my heart goes out to the Sottosanti family: her father, Dave, and three younger sisters. I feel for Rachel’s former teammates: having to witness Westhill coach Tom Pia and athletic director Mike King inform the players after their 5-1 win and watching their reactions was painful. And I feel awful for the entire Westhill community. Having to endure one death is too much; the school has suffered way too many in recent years.
I wrote a column on Rachel in today’s paper: http://www.stamfordadvocate.com/localsports/ci_12234431
There is nothing more difficult than writing about the death of a young athlete. Besides the subject matter, you never feel like you can write something well enough to do justice to the person.
The Sottosantis are asking in lieu of flowers instead for donations to help the family offset the cost of the funeral.
If you would like to help, please send your generous contributions to:
Nick Santagata, 44 Joan Road, Stamford, 06905.
Let’s hope this is the last tragedy the Stamford sports and Westhill communities have to experience.
I think that REFLECTION was someone who was trying to make themself feel better for their absence in her life and lack of knowledge. The people that were named in the obituary were those that were a main part of Rachel’s life, her immediate family and what their contributition is none of anyone’s business. Obviously reflections you don’t know the girls well enough to know their feelings about the situation, and for you to bring up the fact that Dayna received money from fundraisers (when really there was one golf tourn not two) is also none of your business. im also amazed that your so versed in the medicaid/medicare policies as far as payment and dayna’s situation. no i didnt think so, no one does because thats none of their business either. I dont know who you are but did you actually think anyone was going to agree with you? Karma will come back to bite you.
Nothing to hide,
Jordan Courtney
I completely agree with Moose! What is wrong with your reflections? Were you dropped on your head repeatedly as a child or were you always this ignorant? You have no right to judge them until you walk in their shoes!
I just read these comments. Quite frankly, Reflections comments have actually made me sick to my stomach. Wow — I’ve always wondered when/how someone becomes an idiot. Are they born that way? Or, is it environmental? — I still can’t believe a human being can be so heartless. Don’t judge anyone until you walk in their shoes.
I had to comment on “REFLECTION’s” ignorance. My family was very involved with the Sottosanti family at the time Rachel and my daughter did extensive traveling for softball. I will have you know that Mr. Sottosanti has played a major part in the development of girls of all ages in both basketball and softball. He is still involved, as a volunteer. A word that “REFLECTIONS” could not possibly relate to! As far as Ms. Carlin was concered; she became many of our girls surrogate mother. She treated our kids as if they were her own and NEVER complained. As far as DAYNA and her illness is concerned; Medicaid may pay for the surgery, but try having a sick kid for as many years as they did and continue to GIVE to the community! We as parents don’t ever expect to out live our children. For whatever reason, there is a NEED for the family. I hope if you have children, GOD forgives you for your IGNORANCE.
ONE who KNOWS!
I don’t usually join in here, but because the policy has never been stated anywhere I just wanted people to know I can control the posts that are made on my blog, unlike the ones that accompany stories in the paper (like the ones on my column from the paper, which prove that while there are many good people in time of need, there are just as many you have to pity).
I post every comment, whether I agree with the opinion or not, as long as they are done in an appropriate manner.
Dear Reflections,
Regardless of how often it happens, I am still amazed at the horrible and hurtful things people will write when they can anonymously post their thoughts on sites such as this one where they do not have to take responsiblility for their words or actions. As someone who has known the Sottosanti family for years, and as someone who is directly involved in supporting the Sottosanti family through this tragic and traumatic event, I can say with confidence that your outrageous assumptions are nothing short of heinous. You have ABSOLUTELY no way of knowing what the immediately or extended families have offered by way of support, be it monetary or otherwise. You also have no way of knowing what kind of conversations may or may not have taken place w/ the family before any fundraising efforts were set in motion. And, as for wondering how the girls will feel as they re-enter school…Did you ever stop to think about the pain or embarrassment you have now caused them? I didn’t think so. As for your equally outrageous comments regarding Dayna’s experience, Mr. Sottosanti’s employment, Ms. Carlin’s potential contribution to the children she gave birth to, and Mr. Sottosanti’s plans for his remaining “money makers”…. I pray that you never have to experience anything similar to the trauma this family has endured over the years. And if you do, I pray that you won’t ever have anyone in your life offering the kind of “support” you have just bestowed upon the Sottosanti family.
I truly know that the person resposible for creating this site did so with the very best of intentions and out of the goodness of their heart. But, please think about the impact devastating messages such as the one submitted by “Reflections” will have on Sottosanit family.
Once again the good citizens of Stamford have risen to the occassion with their outpouring of love and support for the Sottosanti/Carlin families. But I have to sit back and wonder why the immediate family didn’t contribute to offset the funeral costs. The obit said that Rachel was survived by a paternal grandmother, the Nastahowski Family, the Squillace Family, and Uncle’s Guido and Richard. Why couldn’t they “chip-in”? Instead, fundraisers are being held at the schools attended by Rachel’s sisters. Did anyone consider their feelings? They not only have to go back to school grief-stricten but maybe now embarassed too. It is also my understanding, fact or fiction, that Dayna Sottosanti was the recipient of proceeds raised by not one but two golf outings. Where are those monies? Dialysis/transplant is covered by Medicaid in the state of CT so no money was needed. Also, fact or fiction, the estranged mother pays child support and health insurance. Does Mr. Sottosanti work? As I sit here reflecting I can only imagine what he has in mind for his other two potential money makers, Erin and Leah.
I like that idea!
Dave,
How about a fund raiser for the Westhill-Stamford baseball or softball game. The softball game can be played at night at Troy field. We should show our full support to the entire Sottosanti family.
Hopefully Stamfordites step up, like they’ve done many times in the past, and support the Sottosanti family in this very difficult time.