Take On Life

Hi everyone,

Imagine if every preschooler in Greater Danbury received a book this holiday season.

Better yet, imagine if someone — a parent, an older sibling, a grandparent, a guardian — scooped up that preschooler and read the book aloud before bedtime.

Or anytime, for that matter.

As the state’s achievement gap continues to attract negative — but necessary — attention, the United Way of Western Connecticut is doing its share to get books in the hands of local kids and to promote childhood literacy.

Consider: Connecticut has the largest achievement gap of any state in America — 36.1 percent — when you compare standardized reading scores between low income students (49 percent score at proficient or higher) and non-low income students (85.1 percent).

WANT TO SEE WHAT THE ACHIEVEMENT GAP IS IN YOUR TOWN?

CHECK OUT THE GREAT WIDGET PROVIDED BY THE CONNECTICUT COMMISSION ON EDUCATIONAL ACHIEVEMENT AT www.ctachieve.org/yourtown.

The United Way of Western Connecticut’s program is called Strong Start, School Readiness. As part of the initiative, executive vice president Kim Morgan said, the United Way is partnering with Dolly Parton’s non-profit Imagination Library.

The Imagination Library program, which is available to kids in Danbury, New Milford and Bethel, mails kids a free book every month until their fifth birthday. The United Way hopes to add Newtown and New Fairfield to the mix soon, Morgan said.

Best of all, there’s no cost to participate. There are no income restrictions. Kids just have to satisfy age and residency requirements.

“Everything about this initiative is just so heartwarming,” said David Deschenes, the United Way’s local director of online marketing and engagement. “It kind of brings you back to when you were young.”

As part of its promotional campaign, the United Way of Western Connecticut is asking people to sign a digital pledge on its website to “read early, often and everywhere to the children in my life.”

The website also asks those who sign the pledge to list their favorite childhood book. More than 300 people have already taken the pledge, including Danbury Mayor Mark Boughton, and his wife, Phyllis; U.S. Rep. Jim Himes, D-4th; and New Milford Mayor Patricia Murphy.

For Murphy, the children’s book of choice was “The Story of Ferdinand” about Ferdinand the bull, the Spanish bull who preferred to smell flowers than see red.

For Himes, the answer was “Where the Wild Things Are” by famed author/illustrator Maurice Sendak, who lives in Ridgefield. Mark Boughton also picked the classic storybook.

“The pledge component has really touched people,” Morgan said. “It’s really resonated with them.”

According to education research, Morgan said, a child exposed to daily or consistent reading at home will enter kindergarten with a vocabulary of about 10,000 words.

A child who hasn’t been exposed to regular reading at home, on the other hand, will enter kindergarten with a vocabulary of roughly 3,000 words.

In short, the achievement gap starts on the first day of kindergarten, not the first day of standardized tests.

To read more about the achievement gap in Connecticut and Greater Danbury, check out my “Take on Life” column Friday.

Exclusively in the print edition of The News-Times.

Hi everyone,

Even at 15 years old, Ian Bick knows how fortunate he is to have a roof over his head, clothes in his dresser and food on the table.

The Danbury High sophomore is just as cognizant of those who count on the Dorothy Day Hospitality House and other city shelters for a hot meal and a place to sleep.

But until last week, Ian had no idea — none — just how expensive it is to keep the doors of the Dorothy Day House shelter open at 11 Spring St.

“I found out it costs $160,000 a year to keep the shelter running and they rely entirely on donations,” Ian said Monday afternoon. “I couldn’t believe that. I was shocked.”

And motivated.

After hearing his English teacher, Deborah Casey, read an especially stirring piece about homelessness last week, Ian decided it wasn’t enough to feel bad inside. It wasn’t enough to shake his head and count his blessings.

Ian wanted to do more. He had to do more.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about it,” said Ian, who asks anyone wishing to help him fight homelessness in Danbury to e-mail him at ibick@att.net. “All I knew was that I wanted to help.”

So along with his friends — Willie Marte, Kevin Williams and Siobhan Ryan — Ian came up with a plan to sell bracelets with “Fight for the Homeless” written on them for $1 each.

Ian and his father, Michael Bick, placed the first order of bracelets last Wednesday night, just hours after Casey read the poem that changed Ian’s life — and is poised to change so many others.

The kids hope to raise $2,000 for the Dorothy Day Hospitality House by Feb. 1 selling bracelets and collecting donations around school and around the community.

Danbury High’s Key Club chapter is also actively involved in the “Fight for the Homeless” project, Ian said. The club’s roughly 200 members plan to help sell 1,000 bracelets.

“This whole idea went from a concept to a well-organized project literally overnight,” said Michael Bick, who has donated meals to Dorothy Day, Danbury Children’s First and other non-profits as the owner and head chef of Some Things Fishy Catering in Bethel. “We’re incredibly proud of Ian and the other kids.

“After doing his homework (Monday) night, he must’ve been up to 11 or 11:30 making folders for the distribution of the bracelets. It has almost become a part of him. He is so excited and energized by the whole project.”

Ian isn’t the only one.

Almost immediately, the kids set up a Facebook page — “Fight for the Homeless” community project — and ordered posters with a photograph of the Dorothy Day House shelter on the front.

“I took the picture myself,” Ian said proudly, clad in blue jeans, sneakers and a smart blazer. “After I got out of the car, I’m sure that some people were wondering what this kid with a camera was doing, but I didn’t care. I wanted to show (donors) where their money is going.”

To read more about Ian Bick and his “Fight for the Homeless” bracelets, check out my “Take on Life” column Wednesday.

Exclusively in the print edition of The News-Times.

Hi everyone,

I keep hoping I’m going to wake up one day and read that “Don’t ask, don’t tell” — the U.S. military’s 17-year policy prohibiting gays and lesbians from coming out during their tour of duty — will be soundly repealed.

“Don’t ask, don’t tell” isn’t just wrong, you see. It’s reprehensible. It’s homophobic. It’s the worst sort of whisper, the kind that seeks out intolerance in the darkest places of a soul.

And leaves behind a stain.

It’s the same, despicable hate-think that targeted the Tuskegee Airmen during World War II because they were black. Except these days, “Don’t ask, don’t tell” is Jim Crow in digital fatigues.

How long do you think “Don’t ask, don’t tell” would’ve lasted if this policy was about being Irish? Or Jewish? Or Italian? Or Catholic?

The answer: Not long.

For this generation, “Don’t ask, don’t tell” is the same, sordid agenda that saw New Fairfield’s Jeff Wiggins and other black soldiers dig graves and bury casualties in the Netherlands during World War II while their white counterparts identified bodies.

The black soldiers got the rain, the wind, the mud and the cold. The white soldiers got the comfort of working indoors in December.

Sexual orientation doesn’t make someone a good or a bad soldier any more than the color of a person’s skin measures leadership, valor and commitment.

Just ask Wiggins.

Wiggins was just a kid, barely in his 20s, when Gen. George S. Patton gave him a field commission in 1944. Even now, it remains one of the proudest days of his life.

“As the general was on his way out, he turned to a colonel — it was probably one of his aides — and said, ‘This is why I’m able to kick all these (German) asses because of guys like this.’

“The general was someone who knew what it meant to serve your country regardless of what color you were, or where you came from, or what religion you were, or anything else,” Wiggins said. “We were Americans fighting for our country. That’s the only thing that mattered.”

The Tuskegee Airmen website — www.tuskegeeairmen.org — talks about the indignities those pilots endured during World War II:

“The Tuskegee Airmen were dedicated, determined young men who enlisted to become America’s first black military airmen, at a time when there were many people who thought that black men lacked intelligence, skill, courage and patriotism …

“When black officers tried to enter the Freeman Field Officers’ Club (in Indiana in 1945), against direct orders for them to stay out, one hundred and three officers were arrested, charged with insubordination and ordered to face court martial.”

All because they were black.

Have we learned nothing over the last 65 years? Are we still so ignorant that we judge the men and women who defend our great country by census standards rather than standards of character?

To read more about Jeff Wiggins and “Don’t ask, don’t tell,” check out my “Take on Life” column Sunday.

Exclusively in the print edition of The News-Times.

Hi everyone,

Kyleigh D’Alessio never met 16-year-old John Clapper, the teenager Connecticut State Police say was the driver in Tuesday’s car accident in Griswold that killed four teenagers and critically injured a fifth.

But suddenly — and tragically — they have everything in common now.

Like John and the other Griswold kids who died Tuesday — 16-year-old Sativa Cornell and Dillon Clifford, and 15-year-old Steven Szklarz — Kyleigh lost her young life in a car crash.

Kyleigh was only 16 years old, an honors student from Morris County, N.J., when she died in a 2006 car accident involving a driver with a graduated license who was carrying multiple passengers.

Almost four years later — Kyleigh died a few days before Christmas — the unbearable ache in her family’s heart never goes away.

On May 1, New Jersey enacted “Kyleigh’s Law,” an unprecedented piece of legislation that requires drivers under the age of 21 to affix a small red decal in the upper left corner of their license plates.

Think of those registration stickers we used to put on our license plates in Connecticut. That’s pretty much the deal in New Jersey, only these decals — opponents of the law actually call them scarlet letters — are red.

Bright red.

The New Jersey decal is supposed to identify the person behind the wheel as a young driver, to alert police that this young person has a provisional driver’s license, not one with all the privileges accorded a more mature driver.

But after Tuesday’s fatal crash in Griswold, the knee-jerk reaction for some folks in Connecticut is to enact similar legislation here, to affix a small red decal on the license plates of teen drivers from Griswold to Greater Danbury.

While I understand and appreciate the need to keep our kids safe, to do everything in our power to bring them back home in one piece, “Kyleigh’s Law” is not the way to do it.

The rite-of-passage “Student Driver” sign hanging from the back of every driver’s ed car since the beginning of time is one thing. A bright red decal is entirely another.

Without question, these red decals are targets, especially for teenage girls. Please forgive me if you believe I’m being sexist here, but think about it for a minute.

Imagine your teenage daughter borrows the family car to go holiday shopping. While she’s inside the mall with her friends, a sexual predator is trolling the parking lot looking for license plates with little red decals to stake out.

Maybe he doesn’t spot any. Or maybe he spots your daughter’s.

To read more about “Kyleigh’s Law” and those small red decals, check out my “Take on Life” column Friday.

Exclusively in the print edition of The News-Times.

Hi everyone,

The postcard didn’t look like much when it arrived at Brian Medina’s house on Danbury’s west side.

Actually, it resembled one of those reminders you get when it’s time to give blood again. Or maybe, the confirmation that comes in the mail after you’ve registered to vote.

But this wasn’t your ordinary postcard. Not even close.

From the zip code — 80840 — to U.S. Sen. Christopher J. Dodd’s name stamped in the corner, something was different about this postcard mailed from the United States Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, Colo.

Suddenly, Brian’s dad, Jose Medina, read the only sentence that mattered: “You are now an official candidate.”

And Jose, the man who moved to Danbury 24 years ago from Los Angeles, floated into his Crestdale Drive home with the postcard that could change his 17-year-old son’s life forever.

“I handed it to Brian and he took it into his room, but he didn’t read it at first,” said Jose Medina, a landscaper by profession, a father by calling.

“A minute or two later, I heard him screaming and I ran into his room,” Jose Medina said. “I thought something had happened to him or he had hurt himself.”

Hardly.

Brian Medina, the Danbury High School senior with enough medals, certificates, trophies and ribbons to fill a small warehouse, was one step closer to attending the U.S. Air Force Academy next year, thanks to Dodd’s nomination.

“We are very proud of him,” said Rosmira Medina, Brian’s mother, who came to this country 22 years ago from Colombia, and now works as a certified nursing assistant for Regional Hospice of Western Connecticut. “He works very hard all the time.”

Just like his parents.

Education is the gateway to greatness, the Medinas have told Brian ever since he was old enough to listen, ever since he was old enough to curl his fingers around a No. 2 pencil.

To read more about Brian Medina and his dream of attending the U.S. Air Force Academy, check out my “Take on Life” column Sunday.

Exclusively in the print edition of The News-Times.

Hi everyone,

William Klein never met Eva Markvoort, the 25-year-old drama student from Canada with pipe cleaners for arms and the strength to move the world.

But after reading Markvoort’s blog last spring, a journal of courage about her fight with cystic fibrosis, a terminal lung disease, the Brookfield man found himself pulled into her words.

The connection was immediate and irresistible for Klein, who discovered Markvoort’s blog in a “random stumble on the Internet,” he admits. 

“I read her last post and I just kept reading — backwards,” Klein said Thursday afternoon. “Here she was, this artistic, beautiful, smart, creative, young woman who was dying, and she couldn’t do anything about it. It’s such a sad story.”

Indeed.

Here’s an excerpt from Eva Markvoort’s last post on March 25:

“i am not managing

not managing at all

i’m drowning in the medications

i can’t breathe

every hour

once an hour

i can’t breathe

something has to change”

It did.

Eva Markvoort died two days later on March 27.

If Klein has anything to say about it, Markvoort will not have died in vain. She will have left the world a better place because of her candor and conviction.

On Monday, the 49-year-old Klein will see his doctor for a physical exam that could change his life, and hopefully, save someone else’s.

For Klein, the physical exam is the first step to becoming a Good Samaritan kidney donor at Hartford Hospital.

Klein doesn’t have a brother or sister in dire need of a kidney. He doesn’t have a good friend or co-worker who desperately needs the gift of life this holiday season.

Klein simply wants to help his fellow man. Or woman.

He wants to dispense hope to someone who can’t go another round with a dialysis machine that lands too many body shots and tears you apart from the inside-out.

“Dialysis isn’t a permanent solution. It takes its toll on a person,” said Klein, a warehouse manager. “I know some people probably think I’m crazy, but I really want to do this. I can’t donate my lungs, but I can donate a kidney.”

To be sure, Klein is that rare individual, the person willing to donate one kidney to a complete stranger, and survive with the other.

According to the website sciencedaily.com, there were 71 Good Samaritan kidney donors in the United States in 2005 and just 68 in 2006.

“I can understand why more people don’t want to do it, but just imagine if more people did?” Klein said. “Think of all the people we could help.”

To read more about William Klein and kidney donation, check out my “Take on Life” column Friday.

Exclusively in the print edition of The News-Times.

Hi everyone,

Long before her voice filled the sanctuary of the United Jewish Center in Danbury, Penny Kessler grew up in a nearly Jewish-free neighborhood in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn.

2009 Audit of Anti-Semitic Incidents

“It might’ve been the only neighborhood of its kind in New York,” said Kessler, who lives in Bethel now. “My mother used to tell me stories about taking the subway in Brooklyn and seeing signs promoting new restricted apartment buildings.”

Restricted apartment buildings?

“Restricted was shorthand for no Catholics, no blacks and no Jews,” explained Kessler, the UJC’s longtime cantor. “Everyone knew what it meant.”

But the religious vacuum and the “restricted” signs never stopped Kessler’s family from observing its faith, whether it was attending services for Yom Kippur and Passover, or lighting the menorah for Hanukkah.

For Kessler and Jews throughout the world, Hanukkah begins once more Wednesday night.

The eight-day “Festival of Lights” commemorates the rededication of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem after it had been defiled by the Syrian army of King Antiochus in 165 B.C.

When the Jews returned to the Holy Temple, a single day’s worth of oil miraculously burned for eight straight days in the menorah, a nine-branched candelabra.

For those who live in households like mine, where families celebrate both Jewish and Christian holidays, Wednesday night marks an important teaching moment, a chance to share the beautiful traditions of Hanukkah — the menorahs, the potato pancakes, the dreidel tops — wrapped in the context of acceptance and tolerance.

Next week, after Hanukkah has passed, my family’s focus will shift to the spirit of Christmas and the joyous birth of Jesus Christ.

Indeed, as Andy Williams sings every December: “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.”

There is plenty of room on America’s calendars and in America’s hearts for Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa and Eid al-Adha. But only if we make the effort.

For those who don’t make the effort — the folks who unwrap hate and bigotry and ignorance — the consequences can be hurtful. Or worse.

Consider: In 2009, more than 1,200 anti-Semitic incidents were committed in the United States, according to the Anti-Defamation League.

The two most notable events included a shooting at the Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C., and a foiled attempt by four Muslim converts to blow up synagogues in Riverdale, N.Y.

Kessler, for one, isn’t blinking.

“I have a tremendous amount of faith in this country and a tremendous amount of faith in the ultimate goodness of the people of this country,” Kessler said.

“As a Jew, I cannot imagine a better country to be living in,” she added. “For every foul-mouthed hater — and whether the issue is anti-immigrant, anti-gay, anti-Semitic, anti-whatever — there are an equal and greater number of people who are willing to stand up and say this is wrong.”

To read more about Penny Kessler and Hanukkah, check out my “Take on Life” column Wednesday.

Exclusively in the print edition of The News-Times.

Hi everyone,

At some point, Leandra Thompson will tell you, she ran out of tears. But not because she was emotionally exhausted.

Leandra, a 15-year-old sophomore at Danbury High School, ran out of tears because she refused to give them away anymore to the hate.

No teenager should need a police escort to get on and off the school bus, not in this country. No teenager should be afraid to read a text message or log onto Facebook.

But for Leandra and countless other kids in Greater Danbury and all across America, these fears carve up their youth and their dreams with malignant precision.

This is how it feels to be bullied in today’s thicket of technology.

This is how it feels to be targeted by ignorance simply because of your appearance or sexual identity, or maybe, your skin color or religion.

“To me, I think the hardest part is just having to deal with it all the time,” Leandra said the other day. “You try not to think about it, but after a while, you can’t help it. It’s always there.

“Somebody is always saying something or texting something, and they don’t care if it hurts you. In fact, that’s what they want. They want to hurt you.”

So finally, just about a month ago, Leandra and some friends at King Street United Church of Christ in Danbury chose to do something about it.

In a big way.

From their own experiences to the core-rattling reality of four bullying-related suicides this fall that made national headlines, Leandra and eight other kids hatched a plan.

Imagine if everyone who has ever been bullied donated a pair of shoes. That’s a whole lot of shoes, right?

You bet.

The King Street kids named their imaginative program, “In Our Shoes.” The kickoff will be held Dec. 5 at the church, according to Pastor Cindy Maddox, who is overseeing the project with her wife, Jackie McNeil.

The way these kids figured it, the shoes would send a powerful and provocative message, just like the individual squares of the iconic AIDS quilt.

By giving their shoes, you see, Leandra and her friends hope to give other kids a chance.

“Every day in my high school, I hear kids use (a homosexual slur) to bully gay kids,” said Courtney Jackson, 15, a sophomore at Danbury High. “Other kids get bullied because of the way they look. It’s really, really hurtful.”

Bullying isn’t limited to Greater Danbury, of course. No school is immune from the barbs that fly out of ill-informed minds.

“These aren’t just a few random cases at Danbury High,” Leandra said. “Bullying is everywhere.”

Indeed.

According to the National Crime Prevention Council, every day 160,000 kids miss school because they’re afraid of bullying. Overall, more than half of all kids — 52 percent — report seeing bullying at least once a week.

To read more about “In Our Shoes,” check out my “Take on Life” column Sunday.

Exclusively in the print edition of The News-Times.