Take On Life

Hi everyone,

When John Hancock signed the Declaration of Independence in 1776, he did so with a flourish.

A wealthy merchant from Boston, Hancock was proud to take a stand against King George III and British rule. With looping curves and a comet tail after his name, Hancock proved to be a man with a big signature.

And bigger ideas.

Hancock and the other 55 signers of the Declaration of Independence put their names and principles on paper that day. They did not run from accountability, responsibility and ownership of their views.

We need more John Hancocks in this country.

Instead, the era in which we live today affords those with a computer, a smart phone, a tablet or some other electronic device to bash-and-run without signing their names.

This isn’t to say people don’t have the right to voice their opinions without attribution. Indeed, they do, including on the News-Times’ website.

But that doesn’t mean I’m crazy about the practice.

To me, freedom of speech has always been about respect for the First Amendment and its provisions, a sacrosanct greeting to the Bill of Rights.

For example, you can’t falsely holler “Fire!” in a crowded movie theater without fear of prosecution. However, you can eviscerate elected officials and public figures without leaving your name — or worse, making one up.

I can’t tell you how much I dislike digital “handles” — those screen names that hide a person’s identity — when they are used as nothing more than poor cover for vitriol.

In fact, I often wonder what John Hancock would’ve thought about handles. I have a hard time picturing “JHan76” signed at the bottom of the Declaration of Independence.

For the record, my screen name on Twitter is briankoonz.

If you want to call someone out — whether it’s me, President Barack Obama, Gov. Dannel P. Malloy, Danbury Mayor Mark Boughton, state Sen. Michael McLachlan or anyone else — have the courage to stand with your words, not hide behind them.

It’s easy to throw rocks with a mask on. It’s a lot harder to wind up in public and state your name for the record.

To read more about John Hancock and anonymous comments, check out my “Take on Life” column Friday.

Exclusively in the print edition of The News-Times.

Hi everyone,

Without advance notice or fanfare, Major Gen. George S. Patton — son of the legendary World War II general — stepped out of the car at the Military Museum of Southern New England.

The Danbury museum, recalled John Valluzzo, wasn’t even a week old when Patton visited in 1995.

“We were thrilled. We couldn’t believe it when we heard who he was,” said Valluzzo, the museum’s president. “He came with one of his sons and two grandchildren. We had three generations of Pattons here.”

Valluzzo said the Pattons were on their way to visit one of the major general’s daughters, Mother Margaret Georgina Patton, a nun at the Abbey of Regina Laudis in Bethlehem.

“Do you see this tank here?” Patton asked his grandkids, pointing to the steel fortress crouched on two tracks. “This tank was named after your great-grandfather.”

The kids nodded quietly.

But the quiz wasn’t over.

“How much do you think a section of track weighs?”

This time, the kids shook their heads.

“Eighty-eight pounds,” Patton replied.

It was one of the first teachable moments at the Military Museum, but hardly the last.

For more than 15 years now, Valluzzo, his board of directors and 75 volunteers have turned anti-aircraft guns, detailed dioramas and a mobile museum — a converted command vehicle once used for a missile-launching battery — into larger-than-life history.

“It’s important to educate the younger generations not about the glory of war, but the horror of war,” said the 73-year-old Valluzzo, a Ridgefield resident who served in the U.S. Army during the Korean War. “Today, our brothers and sisters are out there fighting for a free world in the Middle East.”

Earlier this week, the museum acquired one of its most prized exhibits, when the New York City Fire Department donated two pieces of steel from the twin towers.

For a long time, these pieces of steel held up the tallest buildings in New York. Now, they hold up a nation.

To read more about George Patton, John Valluzzo and the Military Museum of Southern New England, check out my “Take on Life” column Friday.

Exclusively in the print edition of The News-Times.

Hi everyone,

Jessica Coraizaca was 12 years old when she came to Danbury from Ecuador with her big eyes and bigger dreams.

She knew some words in English, maybe even a phrase or two, but not much more.

“It was a new country and a new language for me,” Jessica said Wednesday night, just hours after the Latino Scholarship Fund held its annual awards ceremony in Danbury.

So she hit the books. A lot.

And she watched TV. A lot.

Between the two, Jessica, 18, learned to speak, read and write English. But more than that, she learned how to thrive in the classroom and fill a report card with A’s.

As Jessica finished her junior year at Danbury High School — and spotted college around the corner — she found herself on unfamiliar ground.

Again.

“My parents weren’t able to help me with a lot of the college application and financial aid stuff,” Jessica said. “But they always wanted me to do better. They always believed in me.”

So did the Latino Scholarship Fund, the Danbury-based charity that has given out $600,000 in scholarships to more than 400 kids from Greater Danbury since 1995.

The Latino Scholarship Fund has helped send kids to Yale, Duke, Cornell, Syracuse, Connecticut, Boston College, Williams and plenty of other schools, including Western Connecticut State University.

Buoyed by esperanza — the Spanish word for hope — Jessica used a scholarship from the Latino Scholarship Fund to help pay for her education at WestConn.

Jessica just finished her freshman year at WestConn, where she is studying to become a secondary school Spanish teacher. One day, she wants to couple that degree with a master’s in counseling.

“It’s not about the money from the scholarship, although that certainly helps. It’s about the people believing in you,” Jessica said. “When people do something like this for you, when they believe in you like that, you just can’t give up.”

Jessica gave the same advice to her sister, Jacqueline, who graduated from Henry Abbott Technical High School on Monday afternoon and received her own Latino Scholarship Fund award — an $1,800 grant — Wednesday night.

“I went to Danbury High and she went to Abbott Tech,” Jessica said, pausing for a grin. “We couldn’t have two queens in the same place.

“It’s the same thing with college. She’s going to Central (Connecticut State University) to study civil engineering. I’m going to miss her, but I’m so proud of her.”

Jessica isn’t alone.

Long before Ileana Velazquez became the face of the Latino Scholarship Fund — in so many ways — she was the one who worked so hard at Lehman College in New York that she earned a fellowship to Columbia University.

Velazquez met her future husband, Peter Kalman, at Lehman. They met in a human relations course and have been married for the last 37 years. The couple has two sons, Aaron and Jonathan.

Velazquez and Kalman both serve on the board of directors for the Latino Scholarship Fund. Although they want to help more students like Jessica and Jacqueline Coraizaca, Velazquez and Kalman both understand the struggles of fundraising, especially these days.

“We need people who believe in what we’re doing and believe in these kids,” Velazquez said.

To read more about the Latino Scholarship Fund, check out my “Take on Life” column Friday.

Exclusively in the print edition of The News-Times.

Hi everyone,

Even as lung cancer left Danny Holt with little more than a pinhole-sized airway, he found the courage to speak the words that were so important to him.

“Let me just go in for a second,” Danny whispered to his brother, Jay, as they pulled up to the Greenknoll YMCA in Brookfield. “I want to see my kids.”

Reluctantly, Jay granted his brother’s wish, even though 23-year-old Danny was under strict orders to avoid germs.

The boys had practically grown up at the Y, after all. Jay knew how much these kids meant to Danny, the former Danbury High football player nicknamed, “Baby Bus,” after running back Jerome Bettis of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

A few minutes later, after Danny had collected enough hugs to power his signature smile, Jay helped his brother into the car. Jay turned the key and the boys headed to Danbury Hospital for Danny’s radiation treatment.

The visit to the Greenknoll Y — where Danny had been a camper, a counselor in-training, a counselor, and finally, an employee — was the perfect detour for Danny.

Unfortunately, there are times when cancer doesn’t take a detour, when it steps on the gas and accelerates its cruel path of destruction through a young life.

This was one of those times.

Next Thursday will mark the one-year anniversary of Danny Holt’s passing. The young man who never smoked and never worked with asbestos is missed more than ever by his family and so many others.

“We’re coming up on a year now, and none of us know how to act,” Jay said, shaking his head the other night at Pippa’s Sports Cafe in Danbury, one of Danny’s favorite hangouts.

“What are you supposed to say? What are you supposed to do? What are you supposed to feel? None of us know the answer to those questions.”

There are no answers to these questions, of course. Grief doesn’t come with a script or a timeline, only the chance to reach inside and hopefully find the strength to heal.

For 25-year-old Jay Holt and his family, the strength comes from the charitable Danny Holt Memorial Foundation, the platform they use to improve local lives on Danny’s behalf.

Earlier this month, the foundation issued its first scholarship to Danbury High’s Ebony Thomas, who plans to study nursing at Hampton University next fall.

On July 1, the foundation will hold the 2nd annual Danny Holt Memorial 3-on-3 Basketball Tournament at the Greenknoll Y. The event starts at 6 p.m., and more information can be found at www.dholt36.org.

On Aug. 14, the foundation has tentatively scheduled a go-kart fundraiser at Grand Prix New York in Mt. Kisco, N.Y. There will be more fundraisers to come, Jay vowed.

“I miss Danny so much. I think about him all the time, every day,” Jay said. “We shared a room our whole life until high school. The two of us had bunkbeds and we used to tell each other everything.”

The brothers were so connected their names became connected, too.

“Whenever we went to family functions or family parties, it was always ‘JayandDanny’ in one breath,” Jay said. “That’s how they always referred to us.”

Sometimes, they still do.

To read more about Danny Holt and his family, check out my “Take on Life” column Friday.

Exclusively in the print edition of The News-Times.

Hi everyone,

With a growing family and shrinking hours at work, Brigid Guertin found herself at the most uncomfortable of crossroads.

Guertin, the Danbury Museum & Historical Society executive director and the mother of three boys, watched her full-time position fade over the past year or so from 40 hours, to 28 hours, to 20 hours, and finally, to an indefinite furlough June 1.

Unfortunately for Guertin and others who are out of work, mortgage payments don’t take a furlough. Utility bills and grocery bills don’t go away just because an income does.

“To be honest with you, it’s been kind of painful,” said Guertin, whose husband, Gary, is a sergeant at the Danbury Police Department. “But both Gary and I are committed to the city. We love this community and we love the museum.

“When I came back from maternity leave (last July), I was at 28 hours. But then my hours kept getting cut and cut, until at a certain point, I couldn’t do it anymore and the museum couldn’t do it anymore.”

This is the bitter fallout of an economy that chews through the most vulnerable of institutions, even those built with the cultural and pivotal pillars of history.

This isn’t simply about keeping the museum’s doors open regularly instead of just three days a week with a completely volunteer staff.

It’s about keeping Brigid Guertin.

With a master’s degree in museum studies from George Washington University — and a lifelong connection to Danbury — Guertin is uniquely qualified to steward the collections and the vision of the Danbury Museum & Historical Society.

But she can’t do it just 20 hours a week. And she surely can’t do it on a furlough.

“I am very hopeful they will bring me back at 40 hours a week,” Guertin said. “I can’t do my job the way it needs to be done — and the way it deserves to be done — at 20 hours.

“For us (the museum), the key is to make sure that we reach out to the community in a way that engages the community, in a way they want to hear,” Guertin said. “We have the diaries, the letters and the deeds. And we’re committed to keeping that alive.”

On Tuesday, Danbury Mayor Mark Boughton talked about a plan that calls for the city to lend the museum $30,000 a year to help meet its operating budget. The collateral would come from a museum benefactor’s annuity and his antique furniture.

To be sure, it’s a creative solution by the mayor and museum officials.

But there must be other ways to raise money here, if only to jumpstart new programming such as a hat-making session in July that will be underwritten by a grant from the city’s Cultural Commission.

Boughton has also pitched a summer fundraiser for the museum to complement the annual Mayor’s Ball. That’s a good idea, too, but only if ticket sales, museum memberships and other levels of philanthropy improve alongside it.

To read more about Brigid Guertin and the Danbury Museum & Historical Society, check out my “Take on Life” column Friday.

Exclusively in the print edition of The News-Times.

Hi everyone,

Debbie Barrigas sat in the hallway for a year after her husband died.

While her two kids, 5-year-old Zach and 2-year-old Stefani, went to therapy sessions at Healing Hearts, the Danbury bereavement center operated by Regional Hospice of Western Connecticut, Barrigas sat in the hallway.

Hour after hour.

Week after week.

“Carlos was only 30 years old. I never expected him to die so young, but he did,” Debbie said Thursday. “It turned out that he had a heart condition. He died in his sleep.”

Carlos Barrigas Jr., his wife will tell you, left behind the legacy of a good man and a better father when he died suddenly in 2002.

He worked hard every day at Radial Bearing in Danbury before he went home to his wife of 9 1/2 years and the beautiful family they had made together.

“It felt like we had known each other forever,” said Debbie, now 41. “We went to different high schools, so we weren’t exactly high school sweethearts. I guess you could call us teenage sweethearts.”

After a year of sitting in the hallway at Healing Hearts — thinking about her kids, thinking about the strength she had to somehow summon for them — Debbie walked into the adult room and sat in a circle instead.

“You don’t have to talk in the group if you don’t want to,” Debbie said. “You can just sit there and listen. Everything is done at your pace, whatever you’re comfortable with.”

Although it’s been nearly a decade since Carlos died, Debbie has not forgotten the bottomless compassion her family received at Healing Hearts.

For that matter, neither has Debbie’s sister, Dawn Blom, the owner of Dawn’s Pizzazz Artistic Group & Day Spa at 81 West St. in Danbury.

On Monday, Dawn and her staff will host a fashion show fundraiser called “The Heart of Beauty” at the Danbury Plaza hotel on Old Ridgebury Road. The benefit will chronicle fashion from the earliest times through today.

The event will start at 6:30 p.m. with a cocktail hour followed by the fashion show. To purchase tickets and for more information, call 203-794-1113.

“The one thing that we all share is death and heartache,” said Dawn, whose business will also celebrate its 25th anniversary Monday. “It doesn’t matter how old you are. It doesn’t matter what walk of life you come from. Death and heartache affect us all.”

Fortunately, the Healing Hearts center offers its counseling and grief-related services for free.

There are programs for spouses and parents. There are programs for kids. There are programs for anyone in Greater Danbury who is trying to make sense of a tragedy.

What there isn’t at Healing Hearts is a lot of money to provide these programs and keep them free for the people who need them most.

Dawn and her staff of 40-plus employees, including Debbie, a senior stylist, hope to change that Monday.

In fact, Dawn also plans to donate half of the proceeds from her annual golf tournament to Healing Hearts. This year’s tournament will be held Aug. 22 at The Golf Club at Oxford Greens in Oxford.

“It’s important to give back to the community,” Dawn said. “It’s a core value of mine, and I’m glad that I have people working with me to share it with.”

One of Debbie’s most cherished stories about Healing Hearts is about smashing a flower pot. It’s a simple, yet powerful metaphor for the renewal of the human spirit.

“You write your feelings on the inside of the pot — angry, sad, heartbroken, whatever you’re feeling — and then you smash the pot,” Debbie said. “Then you pick up the pieces and you glue the pot back together.

“The lesson they’re trying to teach is, the pot — just like you — is never going to be the same again, but it’s still usable. It still works.”

It took time for Debbie to learn that lesson, especially during that first year after Carlos died.

It took courage to sit in that hallway at Healing Hearts, of course.

But it took even more courage to finally sit in that circle.

Contact Brian Koonz at bkoonz@newstimes.com or 203-731-3411.

Hi everyone,

Frank Wargo didn’t even try to hide his tears as he told the story.

“I was teaching at RESCUE in Litchfield at the time,” Wargo said, referring to the agency that provided academic support for students with learning disabilities. “Just imagine an 18-year-old kid — bigger than his teacher — standing in front of you, crying.”

Wargo, now 68 years old and a retired businessman from New Milford, will never forget the student’s stirring admission. In fact, it still makes his eyes well up.

“I can’t read,” the boy blurted to Wargo as he wept that day. “I feel so stupid.”

The thing is, the boy wasn’t stupid. Somehow, he had never learned to read, never learned how to decode his destiny from the pages of a textbook.

Or any other book, for that matter.

Wargo, once a struggling student himself, knows the feeling. In many ways, that revelation at RESCUE more than 30 years ago was an out-of-body experience.

Long before Wargo served on the Town Council, the Board of Education and countless other panels in New Milford, he was gasping for good grades.

Wargo was a sophomore at Sacred Heart High School in Waterbury when his English teacher swerved from the syllabus and traded Shakespeare for Socrates, if only for a moment.

The impromptu philosophy lesson took place right around Christmastime, Wargo recalled.

“You never know what you’re going to end up doing in life,” the English teacher told the class. “Frank Wargo over there, he could end up being a teacher.”

Wargo was at once embarrassed and empowered.

“When you’re average,” Wargo began, “you’re never going to be the star quarterback or the captain of the baseball team. Nobody is telling you how wonderful you are. You have to create your own wonder.”

So Wargo did precisely that.

To read more about Frank Wargo, check out my “Take on Life” column Friday.

Exclusively in the print edition of The News-Times.

Hi everyone,

Giovanna Carvalho loves to read books about action and adventure, pretty much anything that swaps ink for adrenaline as soon as you open it.

Did I mention she’s only 7 years old?

Her friend, Brianna Espinosa, also counts reading among her favorite activities in the world, right there with singing and dancing and riding swings under the sky at recess.

She’s all of 6 years old.

Giovanna and Brianna attend Morris Street Elementary School in Danbury, where roughly two-thirds of the pupils are considered low income, according to the education reform group ConnCAN.

These little girls have no reference point for school budgets and test scores and achievement gaps.

Nor should they.

But rest assured, Jennifer Traver does.

Traver is the coordinator of the Morris Street Family Resource Center. She also directs the Morris Street School Summer Adventures Camp for four weeks in July.

For $75 a week, kids can attend the Morris Street School Summer Adventures Camp from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. The mornings are filled with reading enrichment and the afternoons are stockpiled with summer fun, including weekly field trips on Fridays.

The weekly fee also includes breakfast and lunch each day. It just might be the best deal in the city.

But without making up $20,000 in budget cuts this year, the Morris Street School Summer Adventures Camp will curtail its curriculum, or worse, shut down altogether.

In a state with the largest achievement gap in America — the academic gap between minority and low-income students and their more affluent white counterparts — Traver and her camp are an academic bridge for the kids at Morris Street School.

“Everyone is tapped out and we’re certainly sensitive to that,” Traver said. “But this is personal. I was born and raised in Danbury. It’s our community and our families we’re talking about here.

“How can we look at families and tell them, ‘I’m so sorry. We’re not going to have a summer program for your child this year.’ How do you do that?”

In Traver’s world, you don’t.

Instead, you do absolutely everything you can to preserve this program for the kids who need it most, kids like Giovanna and Brianna, the beautiful little girls who love to read.

On Sunday, there will be a pancake breakfast fundraiser at Applebee’s restaurant on Federal Road in Danbury to support the Morris Street School Summer Adventures Camp. The breakfast will run from 8 to 10 a.m.

Tickets are $6 per person and may be purchased at Morris Street School. Breakfast includes a short stack of pancakes, some bacon, a drink, and the satisfaction of helping a child.

To read more about the Morris Street School Summer Adventures Camp, check out my “Take on Life” column Friday.

Exclusively in the print edition of The News-Times.