I am, actually.
At the College of Charleston I learned some very important lessons:
- Light roast coffee actually has more caffeine than dark roast.
- Ultra light beer is preferable while Power Hour-ing.
- Freaks, roaches and Poli Sci majors come out at night.
- You won’t trip if you just keep looking at the ground.
- Public transport is to be avoided. At all costs. I don’t care what they say.
But I guess this Harvard/UPenn/Berkley grad didn’t learn lesson #5 at her alma mater, whatever ivy-league school that taught her to enunciate so well.
Watch this video, because I have a few comments I’d like to go over with you.
Comment number one: “Do you know what schools I’ve been to?” No, we don’t. Since you’re not walking around with a name tag that says, “Hi, my name is Loudmouth Idiot and I went to Notre Dame,” it’s hard to tell just by your attitude and lack of social skills. I’m thinking… Dartmouth?
Oddly enough no one chimed in to ask. “Hey, what was your major?”
Comment number two: “This is a private conversation.” You know you’re on a train, right? A commuter train; not one with a sleeper car. With your own room. And door. That you can close. For privacy.
Comment number three: How many times is she going to preface a sentence with a misappropriated, non-apologetic “I’m sorry?” I’m sorry, but Starting a sentence with an “I’m sorry,” is really, really irritating. Especially since you’re not actually apologizing for being really, really irritating.
Comment number four: “I want my money back.” Is she really that strapped for cash that she needs her $8 bucks back for the train ride that she was asked to exit for being a complete social troll? Is she putting that towards student loans? Every penny counts.
Comment number five: “I’m not a crazy person, I’m a very well educated person.” Are you telling me that this man doesn’t look a little crazy?
Are you telling me he’s uneducated?
Or maybe it’s just photoshop.
Comment number six: “I don’t need to touch you. Get away from me.”
Need I say more?
In the meantime, happy commuting.