I’ll admit it: I’ve never totally understood my young friend Kemba. First of all, what’s with this insane exercise fetish of his? Beagle Man takes him out in the morning, they run, and they play fetch forever. Then B-Man sits down at
his desk to work and what does Kemba do? He keeps staring at him, hoping for more. Just sleep, dude! And his need to strain on his leash to see people all the time? Easy, my boy! If they don’t have treats in their pocket, what’s the point? Okay, so these days I hear Beagle Man telling the missus that Kemba’s depressed. B-Man, as you know, is the expert on exactly what the K-Dawg is thinking. Self-appointed, of course.
Right now he says Kemba’s moping because that reinjured right front leg of his won’t allow him to run and fetch. And also because he can’t socialize with all his friends at the dog park because of the quarantine. This is a problem? Come on, man — just do what everyone else is doing during this pandemic: eat, drink, and sleep! With the emphasis on eat. I’ve been telling this pup from the day he came down from Canada: Exercise and company are overrated. I love you, Dawg, but sometimes I give you solid advice and it goes in one of those long, fluffy, crimped ears of yours and out the other.
The Roof Rack Report used to appear regularly on Mondays. Now it appears once in a blue moon, when Beagle Man deigns to give me some space . . .