• Carrots. I like a lot of things besides my kibble, but this is the only people food Mom gives me. Of course I grab the better stuff when no one’s looking — bagels, salami, pickles, you name it — but then I get in trouble. Not big trouble, though. Risk-reward? Definitely worth it.
• Jumping in the ocean and fetching tennis balls. Or bumper toys. Or sticks. Pretty much anything that floats. You toss it, I’ll bring it back to
you. Or maybe to someone else. I like getting everyone involved.
• Snow. Especially when we go cross-country skiing, and I can fling myself on my back in the powder, and roll around in it. Making snow angels. Love that.
• Watching TV on the white couch with Robby and Brianne. I’m not allowed on that couch when Mom and Beagle Man are around. But they’re not always around . . .
• Playing with my neighbor Grace the Vizsla or my nephew Ruckus the Pit Bull. Athletes, like me. Both really fast, though. Hard to keep up with them, if I’m being perfectly honest.
• Riding shotgun in the front seat. Or taking a snooze in the backseat. Basically, just getting in the car and going someplace. I like adventures.
• Swimming with ducks. I probably shouldn’t admit this. I’m not supposed to like ducks, I’m supposed to retrieve them. Remember? Novia Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever?
Things I don’t like:
• Hearing, “Be right back. Just getting a quick bite.” As if I don’t know what that means. Be right back my hindquarters. They’re going out to dinner and won’t be back till God knows when. Sure, they’ll leave a basketball game or a football game on for me. Wow.
• How incredibly L-O-N-G it takes Beagle Man to get ready to take me out! He’ll have my leash on, the door open . . . and then decide he needs a jacket. And then his hat. (Separate trip.) Next he’ll remember he needs poop bags. Oh, and car keys. When we reach the car, he’ll go back in for the Chuck-it. And let’s not forget a ball. Oh. My. God.
• When Ruckus, or Grace, steals my ball — and then just sits on it. Staring at me. Daring me to take it back. Which I won’t do. I just keep barking until someone can’t take it anymore and steps in to help me out.
• Getting hosed off after swimming in the ocean and rolling around in the sand. And then having to listen to Beagle Man say, “Come on, you love water! What’s so bad about the hose, you big baby?” Note to Beagle Man: You like the ocean, too, but I don’t see you jumping into an ice-cold shower after a swim.
• Small dogs. So annoying. The way they yap at me, like they want to start something. Please. I just ignore them.
• “Read and relax.” I hate the sound of those words! It’s what Beagle Man says to me at the beach when he thinks he’s given me enough fetching and wants to get back to reading his book. He knows I’m not good at relaxing. (Or reading, for that matter.)
Beagle Man always has a lot to say, so I’ll just pipe up in The Duck Dog Speaks whenever I can.