Awkward questions Michelle Obama can ask Tim Cook at the State of the Union

Apple will be in the house again at Tuesday’s State of the Union — the house being First Lady Michelle Obama’s luxury suite. This time, it will be Apple CEO Tim Cook getting the prime seat, just as Steve Jobs’ widow Laurene Powell Jobs got the golden ticket in 2012.

Now the First Lady is never one to hold her tongue. And there’s usually a lot of time to kill as the President takes his time walking in, smiling and shaking hands with everyone, including people he disdains. Looooot of time for small talk up in the First Lady’s box. So here’s a couple of ice-breaker questions for FLOTUS to ask Cook:

1. “Why is Apple hoarding $137 billion? You say you are “seriously” looking at sharing it. Shareholders want to know — even if you call their lawsuit “a silly sideshow.”

2. “Did you have trouble finding the Capitol? Hope you didn’t use the Apple map app. Hohohohohohohoho!”

3. “Oh, god, I hope your next big thing isn’t an iWatch. Can you say waste of time?”

Any other suggestions for what Michelle Obama should ask Tim Cook?

Here’s the official White House bio for Cook, courtesy of the White House:

Tim Cook (Cupertino, CA)

CEO of Apple
Before being named CEO in August 2011, Tim was Apple’s Chief Operating Officer and was responsible for all of the company’s worldwide sales and operations, including end-to-end management of Apple’s supply chain, sales activities, and service and support in all markets and countries. He also headed Apple’s Macintosh division and played a key role in the continued development of strategic reseller and supplier relationships, ensuring flexibility in response to an increasingly demanding marketplace.

Prior to joining Apple, Tim was vice president of Corporate Materials for Compaq and was responsible for procuring and managing all of Compaq’s product inventory. Previous to his work at Compaq, Tim was the chief operating officer of the Reseller Division at Intelligent Electronics. Tim also spent 12 years with IBM, most recently as director of North American Fulfillment where he led manufacturing and distribution functions for IBM’s Personal Computer Company in North and Latin America.

Tim earned an M.B.A. from Duke University, where he was a Fuqua Scholar, and a Bachelor of Science degree in Industrial Engineering from Auburn University.

Joe Garofoli